Crosblog

...OK, I'm paraphrasing again. What actually happened was the Mexican Attorney General, Rafael Macedo de la Concha, tendered his resignation in fallout from the publicity nightmare that is the Mexican government's attempt to keep Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador out of the Presidential race. (The Keystone Kops routine that is the prosecution of AMLO has turned into what Howard Dean dreams the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy would do, and made AMLO the front-runner.)

Fox promised the replacement for outgoing Attorney General Rafael Macedo de la Concha would "exhaustively review the case against the mayor, while seeking to preserve the greatest political harmony in the country."

Translation: "What case?"

AMLO is one happy mayor, as well he should be, since he will apparently get to run, and has the additional satisfaction of making his opponents look like nitwits. And because of the heavy publicity, the issue will me "AMLO the Martyr" vs. The Guys Who Tried To Screw Him Out of Running, But Are So Incompetent They Couldn't Even Get That Right, which would be the equivalent of a 80's Saturday morning TV wrestling match between Rowdy Roddy Piper and some unnamed fat guy in a mullet.

For blog takes that don't involve wrestling analogies, Kevin Drum provides cover for George Bush publicly keeping his nose out of it, and Publius links additional stories confirming that Fox has finally figured out about how badly he screwed this one up.

Scott was merely boring. Constantine was actively bad, and he will not be missed.

And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Anthony wasn't half bad this week.

Me: Any problem with me playing tennis tonight?

Spouse: You're really bad at it, and out of shape to boot.

Me: I meant do you have any objection to me playing tennis tonight?

Spouse: Oh. Well, no.

Fidel Castro has weighed in on the Mexican controversy surrounding Presidential candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador. His thought - current President Vincente Fox should resign, so's to keep everyone from getting upset.

Yes, by all means, let's consult Fidel Castro about how to resolve a conflict surrounding a presidential election. Then let's consult Ben Affleck for tips on how to make a good movie, Mike Tyson for advice on social skills, and Barry Bonds on the best ways to build muscle mass naturally.

If Stone Cold Steve Austin were the U.N. ambassador, and he went around hitting everyone who looked at him crosseyed with a Stone Cold Stunner, that would not be excessive. (Well, it would be excessive, but the humor value would more than make up for it.)

Point being - U.N. Commission on Human Rights is actually holding hearings on the repression of religious freedom in China. An activist brings in an electric shock baton similar to the ones used in China to torture prisoners. His display greatly upsets the representatives for the People's Republic of China, who demand his removal.

Whose side does the U.N. take?

Do you really have to ask?

Tip - this NRO article by Jason Lee Steorts, which has some additional details.

Remember when Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg spoke about the value of U.S. courts giving credence to international decisions?

Meet Gary Small, a man who is very glad that Justices Ginsburg, Stevens, Souter, and Breyer have forgotten. Mr. Small was convicted in Japan of smuggling guns, serves a five year sentence. He comes to the U.S., tries to buy a gun. It is unlawful to buy a gun if you have been convicted in any court of a crime in any court (emphasis added) punishable by more than one year imprisonment. Does it say "in an American court?" No, it says "any" court. So, when Small answers "no" to the relevant question, and the truth is uncovered, he is charged with unlawful possession of a firearm. He challenges, and the Supreme Court just ruled that this time, foreign law doesn't count, a ruling which rings a little odd when you recall some of the other, less on point uses to which foreign law has been put.

The decision is here. The rhetorical gymnastics used to come up with a definition of "any" other than, you know, "any" would make Bill Clinton's head spin. Justice Thomas writes the dissent, and it bears noting that his dissent is joined by Justice Kennedy, who wrote the opinion of the court in Roper.

If you're not willing to consider a gun-smuggling conviction in a case of a guy charged with illegal gun possession, solely because the conviction was in a foreign court, then the idea that U.S. courts should more strongly consider foreign rulings isn't a principle. It may be something you cherry-pick to use for cover when it suits you, but it ain't a principle.

Mexico City "mayor" Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador won a techincal victory in his fight against the government, resulting the temporary dismissal of charges that could theoretically keep the front-runner from running for President. I put "mayor" in quotes because the government is claiming that the Mexican Congress has stripped him of that title, and if he acts like a mayor when he's not, he could face further charges.

And in the category of "I'm not sure what I want them to do, but this isn't it!" read Matthew Yglesias' take on the matter.

Maggie Gyllenhall is a nitwit. "There's a reason 9/11 happened!" she says. Well, there's a reason my dog pooped in the living room, but he's still a bad dog for doing it. That she points out the blindingly obivious - they had a reason - suggests she thought it was a good reason, and only regrets that their method of registering their complaint was...perhaps a bit unpleasant. Fortunately, she's apparently not smart enough to take seriously, and she's definitely not famous enough that we have to pretend to.

I'm paraphrasing, of course. For the whole story, Dawn has the details here. Reading chronologically (that's "in the order things happen," should Ms. Gyllenhall be reading, or having someone reading to her), your next step would be here, for Jessica's take on Ms. Gyllenhall proving her mouth is in fact big enough to accomodate both feet, and concluding with Dawn again here, as she sums things up perfectly.

Here in Atlanta, the never-ending saga of Clayton County Sheriff Victor Hill, um...never ends. Previously discussed here and here, the lawsuit by the fired/demoted deputies has a new twist, as Hill's attorneys have accused the plaintiffs of dismissing, then re-filing their case to have it taken away from the African-American judge who drew the case the first time and assigned to a white judge.

That said, Georgia's controversial new Voter ID bill? Not really all that controversial.

In an AJC poll taken about some of the most strongly debated bills facing the Atlanta legislature this term, the Voter ID bill had the highest support of any of them:

McCormick said he also supports the bill to require voters to show photo IDs; 80 percent of respondents favored that measure.

The idea received widespread support among Democrats, Republicans, black and white Georgians (emphasis added) — despite the fact that the Legislative Black Caucus and most Democrats staunchly opposed it.

That's more people than supported a 24-hour waiting period before having an abortion. Not everything Gov. Perdue plans to do polled well - he plans to sign a bill shielding the identity of university donors (a bill opposed by most asked), and he is considering vetoing a wide-ranging smoking ban that has strong support statewide.

Welcome to government - bravely standing for what you feel to be right in the face of public opposition, and ignoring the will of your people - all at the same time!

Did you know that the Governor of Illinois only scored an 18 on his ACT?

Run, Ray, Run!

If so, who's the one endangering it? Mexico City mayor Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador wants to be President. With Vincente Fox's PAN party not so popular, and memories still fresh about the corruption and inefficiency that reigned when the PRI ruled Mexico, Obrador's PRD party could very do very well. He represents the left side of Mexico's political spectrum, and is compared to Chavez by those who don't like him, a charge dismissed by those who do. (Brazil's Lula is the leader of choice for Obrador's supporters to compare him to.)

The problem is what is being done to keep Obrador from running. Apparently Mexico has a law that someone facing a criminal charge cannot run for President. Obrador is currently charged with contempt of court for building a road in violation of a judicial restraining order. While this level of legal nitpicking may sound all well and good when applied to, let's say, Tom DeLay, the specter of using legal technicalities to work an end run around the democratic process occasionally gets people worked up. Obrador has demanded to be incarcerated, and is only out because government officials posted his bail specifically to deny him the P.R. coup of running from jail. Mexican officials, showing they truly have their ear to the ground, are talking about adding more charges.

The go-to guy on threats to democracy, Publius, isn't sure who the problem is, although he notes elsewhere that if Obrador really needs defeating, Fox and friends are screwing things up royally. To me, it seems that Fox is manipulating the judiciary to reach a political goal (his re-election) that he can't get through the democratic process, and that's always wrong, even if you decide you'd prefer the end result. I'm not aware of any reason to believe Obrador would undo the progress Mexico has made towards democracy, other than the possibility that I wouldn't think he was much of a President.

Fox, the first man to win a truly free and fair election in Mexico, is seriously damaging his legacy with this backdoor assault on an opponent. To truly believe in democracy, you have to be willing to get out when the other guy wins.

For the first time that I've seen, a European news source has named one of the suspects in the Robert McCartney murder.

The suspect was a treasurer with Sinn Fein, and is reportedly one of the people the IRA offered to shoot in lieu of handing him over to the police.

I got tagged with the question "name five things that people with whom I generally associate think are really cool, but that leave me cold."

First thought - good Lord, do I need to get out more. (Who the hell do I generally associate with? The drunks at the bar I play poker at? Criminals? My dogs?) That would result in a list that included things like "Going all-in with J-10 suited", "driving drunk after beating your spouse", and "dropping a peanut butter sandwich on the floor", all of which have appeal with the above individuals, but not so much with me. Thankfully, I do have a couple of human friends, and they're generally wrong about:

1. Cell phones - Now that I have one advanced enough to download pretty cool games, I can live with the blasted thing, but am I really the only person in the world who thinks that being accessible to anyone, anywhere, at anytime is a bad thing? When the rest of the world falls into line about when it's a good time to leave me the hell alone, then these things will be a blessing. That day is not yet upon us.

2. Major League Baseball - Yes, I'm still P.O.'ed about the strike. Despite the fact that what would normally be my team is playing the best ball in the league right now, I can't be moved to care. Baseball isn't a charming game, it's a boring game made charming when you like the people playing it. I don't. Also, I'm married to a Cubs fan. Those of you complaining about dealing with Red Sox fans prior to the fall of 2004, let me just say that you're a bunch of wusses. Sometimes, when bad things happen, it makes you wonder if there's a God. Watching the Cubs can also affect your faith, by convincing their fans that

1.) Oh, yes, there is a God, and

2.) He really, really doesn't like you.

3. Highly manicured lawns - Speaking of God, let me pause to thank Him for letting me live in a subdivision that does not have a Yard Gestapo. For those of you not fortunate enough to live in a suburb, the Yard Gestapo is often a part of those subdivisions that bill themselves as "communities." They enforce height restrictions on grass, limit the type, size, and number of plants you can have around the house, and somehow have nothing better to do than check up on you to make sure you're living up to your housing covenants. You get a bad marginal return for the effort you expend. I have a friend who weeds and cuts and plants and trims to please his Yard Gestapo. I mow the lawn regularly, and use Roundup when things get out of hand. I figure my friend's yard looks about 20-30% better than mine, and he expends about 100% more effort. I did the math.

4. Will Ferrell - He's mildly amusing. Anchorman didn't suck. But why I have to see the 19th film where he acts like a mildly retarded 10 year old on opening weekend is not something I'll understand soon.

5. John Edwards - In this highly red state, I have a disproportionately blue circle of friends, so the Great Southern Hope of the Democratic party is much loved in these circles. Again, I don't hate the man, but the idea that this goober is going to bring the south home would be funny, if I didn't love the people suffering from this delusion. I don't recall him spearheading any legislation of great interest to the south, and his good looks (gotta admit, he's a handsome man), and everyman southern appeal delivered a grand total of squat on election day. Safely removed from the Senate, avoiding a re-election campaign he probably would have lost, he will now fade into obscurity, being a non-factor for 2008 who watches Phil Bredesen take his turn as the man who will bring the south home.

Tag, you're it - let's see, whose turn it is? I'll burden Dave, fellow Atlantan Michael C., and because she didn't say no tagbacks, I will note that the person who tagged me hasn't posted her own list yet.

Saw the Interpreter over the weekend. Garden variety thriller, but very well done, and worth the time to see. Whatever your personal thoughts are on the UN, don't worry about them. The film doesn't kiss the UN's butt, nor does it damn it to the fires of hell. It just takes place there. (You sit through a couple of monologues about how great the UN is, but that's just to explain why Nicole Kidman chose to work there - also it helped keep the UN happy enough to let them film there.)

Also, it was fun to play "Spot the former cast member of Oz" while watching. I saw Omar White, Morales, and Officer Murphy.

Convicted serial killer/rapist "has the right to make this voluntary decision concerning whether to pursue any further appeals regardless of what others may feel about his decision,"

Execution scheduled for May 11.

Now the law in Georgia, pending the inevitable court challenge. Previously, Georgia voters could vote by showing one of 17 forms of ID, including a utility bill. The new law reduces that to six forms of government issued photo ID.

Whether the bill will pass constitutional muster or not I don't know. Like many cases, it'll depend on the judge. As a policy matter, the number of acceptable ID's should probably be more than six, but less than 17. Looking at the original list, I come up with 10:

(1) a valid Georgia driver's license;
(2) a valid identification card issued by a branch, department, agency, or entity of the State of Georgia, any other state, or the United States authorized by law to issue personal identification;
(3) a valid United States passport;
(4) a valid employee identification card containing a photograph of the elector and issued by any branch, department, agency, or entity of the United States government, this state, or any county, municipality, board, authority, or other entity of this state;
(5) a valid Georgia license to carry a pistol or revolver;
(6) a valid pilot's license issued by the Federal Aviation Administration or other authorized agency of the United States;
(7) a valid United States military identification card;
(8) a certified copy of the elector's birth certificate;
(9) a valid social security card;
(10) certified naturalization documentation;

I think those ID's (not all of which have photos), are reliable enough to provide reasonable assurances that the voter is who he says he is, and law abiding citizens can get them or should have them already.

In media interviews, opponents of the bill acknowledge that some of the acceptable ID forms maybe aren't the best, and wanting to remove them from the list ain't such a horrible thing. That never really found its way into a legislative strategy, which could have possibly worked out some sort of compromise, but hey, where's the fun in that?

Connecticut proves the legislative process can work, passing into law civil unions for gay partners, allowing them the protections of marriage (while still calling it something else, for those who get their shorts in a wad about that.)

Tip to Of the Mind, who noticed before I did, and Petitdov, who also caught this first and contemplates a three-way with Lindsey Lohan in the comment thread.

...to make tactical suggestions for murder defendants. Yet, when reading about the two former NYPD detectives charged with acting as mob hitmen, one thing springs to mind, especially as it relates to defendant Louis Eppolito.

If your intent to persuade people that you have nothing to do with organized crime, I'm not sure you want Bruce Cutler speaking for you.

Barbara Boxer criticizes a bill supported by President Bush as being too lax on the issue of border security. Boxer's problem is she believes the bill will encourage illegal immigration.

Add this to Karol's report of Maxine Waters joining in the call for increased border security, joining critics of the fairly lax committment to border enforcement voiced by our chief executive, and you start to wonder if the world has started spinning backwards on its axis.

Oh, and for those keeping score, remember the spectacle of bigoted rednecks hunting border crossers that we were promised was the inevitable result of the Minuteman Project? Still hasn't happened. The group is now planning to protest businesses that hire illegal immigrants, which is the sort of immigration control policy I thought right-wingers hypocritcally stayed away from.

Open border supporters looking to counter this action? Time to start shopping at Wal-Mart.

...but if it's possible to do so on relatively good terms, you should make the effort.

Why?



That's why.

Illinois star point guard hires agent, comes out for NBA.

Dee Brown is probably coming back, so the Illini won't suck next year, although they do lose Luther Head and pretty much every inside player they have except for James Augustine. (Off the cuff guess - 3rd in the Big 10, about a 6 seed in the NCAA's, out in the second round or Sweet 16.)

French Premier Jean-Pierre Raffarin announced that France has no problem with China's declaration that they can take Taiwan by force if the mood ever strikes them.

Maybe Taiwan should have had Saddam Hussein as President.

Man spits tobacco on Jane Fonda at book signing.

Steve Silver gets Ward Churchill exactly right:

I haven’t exactly jumped on the bash-Ward-Churchill bandwagon, taking the position that it’s a mistake to refer to this professor, who referred to the victims of 9/11 as “Little Eichmanns” as anything but the pathetic, inconsequential figure he has always been.

Sure, it's fun to unload your revolver on the barrell-encased halibut that is Ward Churchill, but why would any self-respecting Republican actually want the guy fired or driven from public life, for the insignificant reason that he's an overhyped boorish fraud who totally deserves it?

This dude is electoral gold. Just not for the side he supports.

Preach on, brother Ward!

Carrie sucked. Bo rocked. It's gotta be hard for those kids to come up with 70's dance songs. The wife and I couldn't think of that many?

Spouse: Could someone do "It's Raining Men?"

Me: Which contestant would do that song?

(Pause)

Both of us: Anwar.

In any event, to show I don't hold a grudge for him hitting on my wife last week, I hereby post this picture of Constantine from his performance yesterday:



He's the one on the right.

Robert Mugabe rejects "Western-style democracy."

Hey, I'm hip. If you want the version of democracy as practiced in Japan or Taiwan, that's cool, too.

You do realize those places don't send the goon squads after opposition rallies, harass and close down independent media, or prevent their people from peacefully changing their leaders, right?

Prison guard and former hostage Lois Fraley stood firm under cross-examination from the attacker, Ricky Wassenaar. According to the Arizona Republic story (in a detail not mentioned in other reports), during his cross, Wassenaar admitted one key element of Fraley's testimony that will make it difficult for him to deny he had any interest in sexually assaulting Fraley.

I think it's bad policy to grant sex crime defendants the opportunity to cross examine the victim, out of concern it may intimidate the victim. But it's also true, and important to the concept of a fair trial for both the state and the defendant, to recognize the dangers that come with allowing an untrained defendant to handle such a key element of the trial, and then when he fails to adequately protect his rights, wash our hands of the whole affair by saying "he exercised his right to self-representation."

Hopefully Wassenaar enjoyed himself, because I think he dug himself into a hole he's not climbing out of.

...any notion that there's anything seriously wrong with the tenure of Hugo Chavez as President of Venezuela. The Nation had a lenghty article on him some time back, that thankfully, they've placed online. According to the Nation, Chavez' democratic legitimacy is assured:

Chávez and his political allies have won seven national ballots, including the approval of a new Constitution, an overhaul of the notoriously corrupt judiciary, two national legislative elections, two presidential elections and one attempted presidential recall.

The article even uses Chavez' nickname for his opponents - "los escualidos" or "the weaklings," a nickname the Nation article adopts when speaking of Chavez' opponents.

The Nation also claims that despite Chavez' incendiary rhetoric, there has been no attempt to restrict freedom in Venezuela:

But there has been no major government campaign of repression, not even against the architects of the coup, many of whom are at liberty and still in Venezuela.

Note - this stuff doesn't count:

Through it all, occasional armed clashes between hard-core Chavistas and opposition militants have left about twenty people on both sides dead or seriously wounded. And the Chávez government has enacted a media law that punishes slander with jail time and prohibits broadcast of the twenty-four-hour-a-day video loops that were an opposition favorite, drawing sharp criticism from press-freedom advocates.

Meanwhile, according to these articles, (found via the indispensible Publius Pundit), a Chavez supporter published the entire roster of Venezuelan citizens who signed petitions supporting the recall of Chavez, and they are facing blacklisting from government jobs and harrassment from government supporters. Upon this being brought to light, the man who published the list has taken it down, and Chavez has assured the public that no harassment or denial of services happened, and in any event, it won't happen again, and hey, if it did happen, please contact us and let us know about it. A friendly government official will be along to address your concerns.

Remember, he's here to help you.

...but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. The short form is this - I don't think criminal defendants representing themselves should be allowed to cross examine the victim themselves.

A criminal defendant has the right to an attorney, and they also have the right to represent themselves if they choose. (For legal purists, see Faretta v. California.) It's pretty much always a bad idea, but courts have found that pretty much any defendant competent to stand trial, having been apprised of his right to counsel and the risks of self-representation, has the right to defend himself if he chooses, and denying said right can be grounds for reversal. This even applies to serious cases up to and including capital murder - convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal being perhaps the best-known defendant who has alleged on appeal that the trial court denied a proper assertion of self-representation. People familiar with the criminal justice system have claimed that allowing those charged with serious crimes to represent themselves damages the right to a fair trial. (Which I think it does, for the same reason ineffective assistance of counsel does - if you're represented by a nitwit who knows nothing about the legal issues in your case, the rules of evidence, or the underlying law, you more than likely can't have a fair trial. The same applies if the defendant and the nitwit are the same person.) Courts usually get around this in serious cases by appointing someone to act as "legal counsel" to advise the defendant and help them handle the technical aspects of trying a case.

Which brings us to Ricky Wassenaar. He is currently being tried for his role in an attempted escape from an Arizona prison in which a female guard was taken hostage and sexually assaulted. (The guard, Lois Fraley, says both Wassenaar's associate, Steven Coy, actually raped her, and Wassenaar committed a sexual assault that did not involved forced intercourse. Wasseenaar, for his part, denies it.) Fraley, who has agreed to be identified in the media, is currently on the witness stand being examined by the prosecutor about her ordeal. Wassenaar is defending himself, and has promised to leave her "in shreds" when he cross-examines her next week. Fraley seems strong enough to handle whatever Wassenaar, who is using his trial as a soapbox to air his grievances with the Arizona corrections system, can throw at her. But I think she's a fairly unique case. The potential for intimidation that stems from a rape defendant directly questioning the victim about the details of the assault is, I think, pretty extreme. I think it's also risky for the defendant, who is in grave danger of alienating a jury when he takes on a victim directly, especially if the jury thinks he's enjoying himself more than he should. (For the record, I expect Wassenaar's defense to backfire, and that he will be convicted of pretty much everything he's charged with.) I think in those cases, the standby counsel should be required to conduct the cross-examination of the defendant.

I'm fairly sure such a rule would not survive a constitutional challenge, under the law as it's currently set up. (Although if any rule included a study on self-representation and its affect on defendants, it might prompt a change - in any event, I haven't done the research beyond looking up Faretta, and I defer to anyone who has.) I simply think it's bad policy, but I'd welcome any thoughts as to why I'm wrong.

Residents of Dork Street trying to change their street's name.

I can picture the exchange now...

Guy in Bar: Hey, want to come back to my place on Dork Street?

Girl in Bar: I just remembered I'm a lesbian.

Finally saw Sin City over the weekend. Absolutely loved it. There were a couple of moments where I thought I was going to have to apologize to my wife for dragging her to see it, but she liked it as well. (I shouldn't have worried - she liked Kill Bill as much or more than I did.) Chicks who like geek/guy movies like that rock, and if you are such a girl, I salute you.

I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, since it's not everyone's cup of tea, and perfectly reasonable, intelligent people would have ample cause to not like what Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller have done. Shot mostly in black and white, with color only added in small doses for effect, it is a comic book put on screen, in a way Spider-Man and company never approach. It's brutally violent, and not terribly progressive - the female characters all need saving, even Gail. (Although, in Gail's defense, the bad guys cheated.) The nature of the movie doesn't give the actors a whole lot to do, although Bruce Willis does a good job with Hartigan, and Mickey Rourke as Marv is something you just need to see to believe.

In any case, it was the first time in a long time I've seen a movie that was unlike anything I'd seen before, and if you're into movies as an art form, it's worth seeing for that reason alone.

I had a monkey climb on my head today and try to eat my tie.

(Note - this actually happened.)

Winner of Republican March Madness? Haley Barbour.

Over in Ireland, the family of Robert McCartney, apparently murdered by local IRA leaders, tried to pass out leaflets for a rally calling for justice for Robert McCartney's killers. They were forced to stop by a theatening mob.

And for a reaction from the totally committed to justice and completely outraged at the failure of witnesses to come forward justice lovers at Sinn Fein, we get this:

Local Sinn Fein representative Joe O’Donnell said intimidation from whatever quarter should be condemned.

Cause, you know, the family of the murder victim could have been intimidating the murderers. Happens all the damn time.

Interesting discussion on this point taking place at N. Ireland blog Slugger O'Toole, which includes comments from people who are quite upset with the McCartney family for the apparent damage they have done to the Republican cause. Apparently, a prominent IRA leader slashing a man's throat in a bar fight didn't cause any damage, and neither did IRA members destroying evidence and threatening witnesses. What has damaged the cause is people complaining about it.

Still, apparently the people who were in the bar that night would still prefer to have this used as a stick to beat down the Republican cause. Swing away, says I.

Via Steve Silver - we read the humourous story (humor can be defined as "something painful not happening to you") of a blogger being threatened with either legal action or physical violence or who the hell knows what the "communications director" for talentless has-been pro wrestler The Ultimate Warrior.

And when you thought he couldn't get any lower than his match with Hulk Hogan at WCW's Halloween Havoc 1998. (Considered by many to be the worst match in wrestling history.)

China is staging massive protests against Japan's campaign for a permanent seat on the UN Security Council.

My Proposed Response:

We will seriously consider any protest staged by the Chinese people...



...as soon as China convinces us that protests are the sort of thing they respect.

China's grounds for protesting Japan includes Japan's alleged failure to confront negative portions of Japanese history, specifically instances where Japan has victimized China. Of course, as a model for nations looking to own up to their historical shortcomings, China has a few issues of their own.

Spouse: Do you know why I haven't done the taxes yet?

Me: Because it's not 10:30 p.m. on April 15th?

(Pause)

Spouse: OK, I want to tell you to go fuck yourself, but I think I have to wait for a better opportunity.

Me: (Coming downstairs) So, did I miss anything on American Idol?

Spouse: Constantine just did Bohemian Rhapsody.

Me: Did he pull it off?

Spouse: Yes. Every girl in the audience now wants to have his babies.

Me: His feathery-haired, smirky babies?

Spouse: (A little too enthusiastically) Oh, yeah.

...the top 5 movies I dread being dragged to. These are movies I've noticed my wife saying, "You know, that looks kind of good...," which means off we go, even if something on the previous list is opening, because I'm just that damn good a husband.

5. Fever Pitch - "But it's got baseball!" Why a Cubs fan and a recovering White Sox fan would want to watch Boston break their curse while ours still linger is beyond me. Plus, while I'm not proud of it, the truth is that I hate Jimmy Fallon more than I hate Kim Jong Il.
4. Monster in Law - The movie that shares responsibility for us all having to listen to Jane Fonda sort of apologize for Vietnam again. (Blame the book if you want, but the movie would have started the train ride too). But regardless, this movie has J-Lo, and Michael Vartan, who is the actor you hire when you want a bland leading man who won't overshadow your female stars, but you don't want to shell out for Luke Wilson.
3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Anyone else get a Michael Jackson vibe off this?
2. The 40 Year Old Virgin - Steve Carell trying to get laid. For the first time. Ever.
1. Herbie: Fully Loaded - Lindsay Lohan! Breckin Meyer! Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in a role he'll live to regret not ceding to Jeff Gordon!

"It could be funny!"

"Yeah, and the phone ringing could be Ed McMahon, wanting to know when's the best time to drop off the check! But are the odds of that being the case worth the effort of me getting off the couch?"

That's right. Just. That. Damn. Good. A. Husband.

The summer movie season is more or less under way, now that the franchise films/comic book movies/movies where stuff blows up are starting to come out. What follows are the movies coming out in 2005 that I'm most looking forward to seeing.

10. War of the Worlds - great trailer - make people pay to see the monsters.
9. Lords of Dogtown - I knew people exactly like this growing up. Trailer looked great.
8. Corpse Bride - I loved the Nightmare Before Christmas. (That reminds me, I need to pick that up on DVD.)
7. Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Don't you want to see the movie that put Jennifer Aniston back on the market?
6. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - I still don't know how they're going to cram this down into less than three hours.
5. Batman Begins - Christopher Nolan? Christian Bale? Ken Watanabe as Ra's Al Ghul? Yeah, I'll see that.
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Big budget Hitchhiker's. This has been a long time coming.
3. Sin City - To my everlasting shame, I haven't seen this yet. And for the flimsiest of reasons - my wife is recovering from surgery. Still, having a spouse who actually wants you to hold off seeing a movie like this so she can see it with you is a rare and valuable thing.
2. Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith - The more trailers I see for this, the more I think George Lucas might have salvaged his crappy-ass prequels.
1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - I loved these books growing up. I've been waiting years for this movie. They'd better not screw it up.

Witness in Michael Jackson trial talks about Jackson licking the head of one of his accusers.

That ain't right.

An Atlanta police officer is claiming he was unfairly disciplined because he failed to meet a quota. The officer was reprimanded and transferred to a less desirable shift, according to the story, because he went an entire week without making an arrest. In his version, the officer is a hero of justice, who declined to falsely arrest anyone just to meet some arbitrary quota.
On the other hand, the zone this officer was assigned to is well known as a high crime area. Does the fact that he couldn't find a criminal for an entire week mean there weren't any criminals, or could it mean he just wasn't looking hard enough?

French review copies of the proposed EU Constitution had to be trashed becaused they contained the phrase "incoherent text."

Tip - Oxblog.

Prince Charles shook the hand of Zimbabwean Thug-in-Chief Robert Mugabe "in error." For future aid to His Royal Highness, Mugabe looks like this:



Of course, at least the Prince has the stones to admit to the handshake, unlike some other world leaders I could name, such as Alleged Moderate and President of Iran Mohammed Khatami, who has vociferously denied that he would lower himself to shaking hands with Israeli President Moshe Katsav. (Katsav, for his part, has gotten flack in Israel for shaking hands with the leader of a country that thinks nuking Israel is exactly why God created the atomic bomb.)

No word on whether Mugabe and Khatami shook hands. Maybe they met at a strip joint later that day.

Tip - Karol.

Accused serial bomber Eric Rudolph has reportedly reached a plea agreement, admitting his crimes in exchange for a life sentence. Rudolph planted bombs outside a Birmingham, AL women's clinic, killing off-duty police officer Robert Sanderson, and severely injuring Emily Lyons, who worked at the clinic. Other bombs were placed outside a gay nightclub and a clinic in metro Atlanta, and in perhaps Rudolph's most infamous bomb, the one in Centennial Park during the Olympics that killed businesswoman Alice Hawthorne. A second death was also connected to the bomb, as Turkish cameraman Melih Uzonyol suffered a fatal heart attack while trying to cover the explosion.

Not everyone is satisfied with the outcome. Last word to Emily Lyons:

Emily Lyons, a nurse who lost an eye in the 1998 Birmingham bombing, said she and her husband were "extremely disappointed" by the tentative agreement.

"We felt that the crime fit the punishment of death," she said. "But we knew it was the best choice to protect others."

Lyons said she did not believe that life in prison was "punishment enough" for Rudolph. But she said, "We hope that this is the end of this cycle for us."

By the way, "lost an eye" doesn't come close to describing what Lyons went through, or how bravely she's fought to come back from her injuries.

But it amuses me, so I pass it on.

Papal Selection Bracket.

Tip - Ken Wheaton.

Guy on way to renew drivers license drives into the wall of the DMV building.

What does the DMV do?

Why, obviously, renews his drivers license!

Matt Hale gets 40 years in prison.

The second round of competency hearings for serial killer Michael Ross began, with the state psychiatrist who initially declared Ross competent standing by his diagnosis.

Ross and his father also testified, with his attorney trying to show Ross' desire for execution stems from something other than a desire to bring closure to his victims' families.

According to Fulton County Sheriff Myron Freeman, that would be word to describe how the Sheriff's department handled Brian Nichols' escape from custody and subsequent rampage. Regarding Deputy Grantley White, who feigned a heart attack while Nichols was pointing a gun at him, allowing White to trigger a silent alarm, and Sgt. Hoyt Teasley, who was killed chasing Nichols, perhaps the word "exemplary" should apply. Regarding Freeman, however, who's responsible for the overall security of the courthouse, I'm not so sure. No special precautions appear to have been taken after Nichols concealed sharp metal in his shoes, and Nichols, as well as every other suspected violent felon, is escorted to and from court by a single deputy (who is often responsible for up to four inmates), and there appear to be no plans to reassess how deputies are assigned. (Note to Sheriff Freeman - if you ever wanted an opening for a boatload more funding, this would be that opening.)

Of course, a lot of information is still under seal, as both the prosecution and defense in Nichols' upcoming trial have both requested it to avoid tainting any prospective jury pool. So who knows - maybe the Sheriff's Department was "exemplary."

So Maddy was feeling a little stir crazy yesterday, and we decided to take a shot at going to our weekly poker tournament at the Dixie Tavern. Apparently the hard-core painkillers she's been prescribed are not a gateway to poker brilliance, and she went out fairly early. Not a problem, you'd think, she'll just collect her poker dunce of a husband, go home, and slip into a coma for a few hours, right?

So, guess who goes on a roll? I make the final table for the first time in two months, along with two guys named Jimmy, a man known to me simply as "Drunk," and a guy who apparently answers to the nickname "Fetus." (I am making none of this up.) And, of course, there's a game on, so it's deal a card, deal a card, curse at the TV for a few minutes, deal a card...a fellow player takes issue with some of the cursing...

Him: When was the last time you coached a team to an NCAA title game?

Me: Did you see the NCAA Division III title game?

Him: No.

Me: That'd be the last time I did that then.

I outlasted Drunk and Fetus (and quite possibly, my spouse's patience), but fell to the two Jimmies. (I go all in with top pair on the board, and somebody makes a straight on the river. Moral of the story? It's fun to use "poker words.")

Just another Monday Night in Atlanta.

The Minuteman Project has kicked off in Arizona, with patrols of private citizens roaming a section of the border notorious for illegal crossings. Opponents of the Minutemen are afraid of vigilantes declaring open season on the undocumented, and are demanding the government crack down. (Those calling for a crackdown on the Minutemen have not, historically, been known for insisting on strict enforcement of laws along the border, but wanting the law enforced is a fine thing, so we move on to the scorecard.)

Number of illegal immigrants harmed or killed by Minutemen: 0

Number of illegal immigrants saved by the Minutemen: 1

Long, long, NYT profile on Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

''When a 'Life of Brian' comes out with Muhammad in the lead role, directed by an Arab equivalent of Theo van Gogh, it will be a huge step forward.''

She stands up to tyranny and references Monty Python. Talk about the sort of people the world needs more of.

Poland is likely to hold an election this summer. A second election is slated for September, when Poland will elect a President, as well as vote on the European Constitution. The Alliance of the Democratic Left (SLD), which currently holds both the Presidency and prime minister positions, is not polling well, and is likely to take a huge hit if Parliamentary elections are held this summer, however, SLD President Aleksander Kwasniewski, believes holding all three votes at the same time would jeopardize the success of the EU vote.

Currently, centrist party Civic Platform appears likely to be the biggest gainer in Polish elections. They support the EU in principle, although there have been recent differences. (They are also known as the Citizen's Platform. It is their support for the EU constitution that is best aided by separating the parliamentary and EU elections.) The most prominent party of the right in Poland is the Law and Justice Party, which is opposed to the constitution, and presumably, pretty much everything else the SLD stands for. Just a regular series of elections, with nothing terribly outlandish to cause the outside world to take notice. It hasn't been that long that Polish citizens have had the right to choose their own leaders and direction their country would travel, but even so, it is now a regular fact of life, taken for granted by most.

Everyone has their own way of saying "thank you." This is mine.

Rest in peace, Karol Wojtyla.

Maddy had surgery today. Nothing life threatening, just foot surgery to correct a nagging problem she’s had for awhile. This date has been scheduled several weeks in advance. I am told this little party will start at 7:30 this morning in Decatur, which is on the other side of Atlanta from where we live. Spouse stays at work all night, (yes, all night) getting stuff done for when she’s out of work.

Her: I’m thorough.

Me: You’re a lunatic.

Anyway, she doesn’t get home until about 6:30, which means a mad dash to get everything together and get out the door. We race to Decatur, and make it to the surgeon at almost exactly 7:30. His greeting?

“Wow, you’re early. You’re not scheduled until 9:30.”

I. Am. Married. To. A. Lunatic.

After a delightful hour spent at a local Starbucks, I’m back to retrieve said lunatic, only to be surprised to learn said spouse is not actually the craziest person in the area. As the nurse is wheeling Maddy to my car, some woman walks by and says “You shouldn’t go to Dr. (Name of Guy Who Runs This Place). He’s not a good doctor. I have a much better podiatrist.”

Note – she’s in a wheelchair, she’s got the bandages on her feet – you think maybe now’s not a good time to bad-mouth the doctor?

To quote Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer – “Again, something that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!” (Also, the doctor this nutcase was bad-mouthing wasn’t the doctor who did the surgery, but still…)

Anyway, she’s now fine and resting, thanks either to the TLC of her wonderful husband, or the powerful drugs they gave her, I’m not sure which.

Hey, I made predictions on the Super Bowl (reasonably accurate) and the NCAA Tournament (somewhat less so), now it’s time for the preview of none other than Wrestlemania XXI

Rey Misterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
Who Should Win: Rey, so a P.O.’ed Eddy can sabotage the tag team champions in violent fashion next week on Smackdown and set up months of great matches.
Who Will Win: Eddy. The story has Eddy being unable to beat Rey, which traditionally means he wins.
Will it Suck? This match could not possibly suck.

Sumo Match: Big Show vs. Akebono
Who Should Win: Big Show – the only way to get any value out of this match is for Big Show to turn evil, cheat like his life depended on it, and waste Akebono.
Who Will Win: Akebono. Since the WWE probably hasn’t talked Akebono into taking a fall to make Show look like a killer, this match will probably be on the level, which means Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean II, this time with man-thongs.
Will it Suck? Boy howdy will this suck.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton
Who Should Win: Orton, cleanly. Having the “Legend Killer” end Taker’s Wrestlemania Streak would breathe new life into Orton, who flopped as a face champion.
Who Will Win: Orton, but probably not as impressively as he should.
Will it Suck? No, but a style clash may keep it from being as good as it could be.

Women’s Title Match: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme
Who Should Win: Stratus should beat this amateur stupid in 60 seconds.
Who Will Win: I hate to say it, but I think they’ll give Hemme the upset.
Will it Suck? Like Paris Hilton at an American Music Awards after-party.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Participants: Chris Jericho, Kane, Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin, Christian, and Edge.
Who Should Win: Shelton Benjamin. Could use a big win on a big stage to make him a credible main event threat.
Who Will Win: Probably Edge, although Benoit might not be a bad second guess.
Will it Suck? This will not suck.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle
Who Should Win: Angle
Who Will Win: Angle
Will it Suck? No.

Smackdown Title Match: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena
Who Should Win: Cena
Who Will Win: Cena
Will it Suck? Neither of these guys is anything to write home about in the ring, but for 8-10 minutes, plus the payoff of Cena winning the title, this won’t suck.

Raw Title Match: Triple H vs. Batista
Who Should Win: Batista
Who Will Win: Triple H, through some nefarious means (It will be sold as extending the feud and setting up future rematches. In reality, it will kill Batista’s momentum dead, like what happened to Randy Orton when Triple H horned in on his big moment.)
Will it Suck? No, but if Triple H does win, that will suck a lot of enjoyment out of the match. (The whole point of Wrestlemania is to end with the good guy victorious. I can only think of one WM main event where the bad guy won. Guess who that was.)

Other crap – the Steve Austin/Roddy Piper thing will be a giant waste of time, since neither guy can wrestle to any appreciable degree, and the rumored “confrontation” between Hulk Hogan and Mohammed Hassan has me shuddering, both because the level of nationalistic nonsense would seem excessive to a drunk Toby Keith, and because Hogan will probably end up crapping on a younger, healthier wrestler to have one more moment in the sun. I’m also cranky about the lack of title matches – Chavo Guerrero’s injury may have messed up a plan to have him and Paul London go, but at least one tag title match would have been nice.

Basically, I’m betting WM21 will disappoint. If Batista wins and the Orton match delivers, there is the potential for a really good show. But lowered expectations always helps your perception. Just ask the President.