Crosblog

If you're cheering for the home team to beat the Rebels of Ole Miss, and the home team happens to be Georgia, apparently, "Show those Rebels how the war ended!" is not an acceptable cheer.

But hey, they still won.

At the spouse's behest, I am taking the day off work "to help get some things done around the house."

The idea that this will cost me a vacation day is just wrong, and sounds like the sort of issue John Edwards was made for. Want my vote, you pompous little Nancy? Here's your chance.

While we're here, we're also having a parade of people coming by for various repair and delivery tasks. The good news about this is I haven't seen Koshka this animated in awhile. Between the plumber and the FedEx guy, the Wolverine has had a full day fulfilling her obligations as our chief of security. And I must say, she hasn't lost a step.

"That's right, Koshka. The plumber came here to fix the downstairs toilet and kill us all. But because of you, he left after only completing half of his list of evil objectives!"



Isn't she cute?

I mean, fear her wrath.

Man gets hit in groin by fish.

If Oscar does not recognize this masterpiece, the award has lost all meaning.

Saturday I turned 35, which means that officially, anything under 38 can now be legally classified as "early 30's."

My birthday season (note - phrase "birthday season" copyright Dawn Summers) began with a trip to a fancy French restaurant in Atlanta. My wife wanted to take me to a fancy French restuarant for two reasons:

1. Only by going to one of Atlanta's finest restuarants could she fully convey the depth of her love and devotion to me, and:

2. Watching me try to order food in a fancy restaurant is apparently highly entertaining.

By the way, when the server asks you "still or sparkling water?" the answer she is looking for is not "Yes." Fancy dining tip from me to you.

I always feel a bit of pressure at a higher end restaurant, because there's always a sense that management is more than willing to have your server dragged out in an alley and beaten if you are in any way unsatisfied with your food. Which I'm not opposed to in principle, but I sufficiently aware of my cultural limitations to figure that if I don't enjoy their food, the problem is more likely on my end. Relaying the story of our experience at Joel (pronounced, apparently "Joe-ell." Think Superman's dad, without the "R") reminded the crazy redhead and I of our first time hitting a fancy eating establishment, roughly a decade ago in St. Louis. We tried to be adventurous and ordered dishes without fully knowing what was in them, and when they came, we went "Oh," and generally just picked at them before setting them aside. We did this without malice - (our lack of culture not being their problem and all), but the managers were greatly concerned, coming out again and again, offering us a complimentary dessert and generally acting horrorstruck at our finicky eating habits. Some time later, my wife relayed this experience to the owners of the gourmet restaurant she tended bar at. They found this highly amusing.

"Darling, they thought you were food critics."

I really hope they didn't hurt our waiter too badly for that.

Anyway, Sunday came around, and I step outside to find a limo waiting to take us and some friends off to another birthday celebration. Does another evening of culture and refinement await us at our destination?

Guess. Again.

I finally get to experience Medival Times. Contrary to every single movie and TV show that ever set a scene here, they do not actually let customers down into the arena floor to joust and fight with each other. Which is definitely something they should let people who are there for their birthdays do. I could totally have taken the woman who was there for her 66th birthday.

You do get a role, however. You are to cheer for whatever knight is wearing the same color as your table. We were sworn to the red knight, who was not, as best I could tell, Barry Horowitz. Finally, something I for which I can use the skills honed in the stands at numerous indepenent wrestling shows.

"F&$# him up, Red Knight, F$%& him up!" (clap clap).

(Note to anyone attending Medival Times - there will be many children in the audience. Chants such as the one above are, in fact, inappropriate. Frankly, they're also inappropriate at independant wrestling shows as well. They are, however, perfectly acceptable at Presidential candidate debates.)

"F$%@ him up, Romney, F$#@ him up!" (clap clap.)

Yes. Much better.

Once again, I felt bad for our server. I'm pretty sure the phrase "Hello, I'll be your wench this evening," is far too often taken as an invitation to sexual harassment. Although I'm sure the wenches had it easier than the guy whose job it was to follow the horses with a shovel and a bucket. (If you ever get hired by Medival Times, I'm guessing that's where you start.)

The show was a lot of fun, even with Horowitz tossing my wife a rose after winning one of the contests. (Man, I hope at least one person gets the Horowitz reference.) And the food was pretty good, even though they make you eat it with your fingers.

And, after good triumphed over evil, and the whole birthday thing ended until next year.

Where I will still be in my "early 30's," in case anyone was counting.

Brian Nichols trial likely to be delayed again.

Drunk man rescued by fire department after getting stuck in ex-girlfriend's chimney.

Thank goodness he was drunk. The prospect of that being the sort of decision one makes sober - "Hey, let's climb down my ex's chimney!" - well, that doesn't bode well for us as a species.

It gets better - the ex was cited for her behavior:

Firefighters requested assistance from police after arriving because they said Connie Deweese was hampering the rescue effort by blocking the fireplace.

"I told them to leave him in the chimney and let him die," said Deweese, who received misdemeanor citations for disorderly conduct and interfering with a firefighter.

And if you thought it couldn't get any more fun...he came back to the house after getting out of the hospital.

The homeowner has not yet reached a forgiving place - as this news report shows.

I mean, besides the airstrikes on any studio shooting a movie starring a "Saturday Night Live" cast member.

Yes, even Andy Samberg.

In reviewing "least-worst" scenarios concerning Zimbabwe, the International Crisis Group makes what one would think is a fairly obvious point: Probably the only way to get Robert Mugabe to step down and quit wrecking his country is going to involve two things:

1. Immunity from prosecution for he and his top level cronies, and

2: Permission to keep a substantial portion of the wealth he and said cronies have looted during his tenure as Destroyer of Prosperity, or whatever his official title is.

As odious as letting Mugabe end his days in wealth and freedom while Zimbabweans try to rebuild their nation sounds, given the strength of Mugabe's hold on the country, unless someone's willing to sign off on invading (anyone? Bueller?), Mugabe is going nowhere unless persuaded that doing so is in his best interests. I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

If the dictator is willing to paint the streets with blood, democracy is coming from without, or not at all.

The international community persuading a dictator to step down in exchange for immunity is one way to bring democracy from without. Problem is, I don't think any dictators are going to believe those promises. Remember Pinochet? How awesome everyone thought it was that his prosecution "signified the beginning of the end of their impunity," for dictators everywhere, to quote Human Rights Watch. Well, guess what? You can talk about cutting a deal with Mugabe all you want, but unless he's "Beauty on-Beauty and the Geek"-level stupid, he ain't going to fall for it, since the concept of "universal jurisdiction" pretty much guarantees that somebody, somewhere, is going to try and have him arrested. The common defense of universal jurisdiction is that certain crimes should never receive immunity. I agree in principle - for job security reasons, if nothing else, but the Amnesty doctrine removes a way of ousting dictators without really putting anything in place - try and suggest forcibly removing Mugabe at a Human Rights Watch meeting and let me know how that goes. If any dictator, Mugabe, Kim Jong Il, Than Shwe, Castro, knows three things for certain - 1 - that he will never be removed by an outside force; 2 - that he has a strong enough grip on his country's security functions to crush any internal revolt; and 3 - any promise of amnesty is effectively valueless - why would such a person ever hand over power absent the shedding of considerable amounts of blood? I mean, Pinochet was a hero to certain right-wing segments for his opposition to Communism, while Mugabe has his supporters on the left for his resistance to British colonialism. You could promise that international human rights activists will apply a double standard in this case, but I wouldn't expect Mugabe to stake his life on it. (Which, if he ever exposes himself to arrest, he would ultimately be doing.)

And, of course, Pinochet died without ever being tried and convicted for his human rights abuses. Given the way things are going, a similar fate almost certainly awaits Mugabe.

Some guy tries to sell Belgium on eBay.

Good news is - delivery was free.

I'm sure everyone in Minnesota hopes not - after all, why should they have to deal with a giant media circus over a misdemeanor just because Idaho chose to make this goober a Senator?

That being said, my first response was: probably. It's not terribly unusual for there to be a technical defect somewhere in the plea process, especially in a situation where the defendant is in a hurry to plea because "he just wants to get it over with."

TalkLeft has the actual plea agreement sent in by Sen. Craig, in lieu of his actually showing up. Talk Left thinks the petition is deficient regarding the Senator's right to counsel. Although the form does mention consulting with an attorney, and gives Craig a place to state whether he is or is not represented, the right to counsel is generally addressed in the list of rights the defendant acknowledges he 1.) has, and 2.) is voluntarily and knowingly waiving. (Paragraph 9, for those of you reading along at home.)

Beldar posts that a cover letter from the prosecutor to Craig sent with the plea form addresses the counsel matter sufficiently. This is a fairly technical issue - I don't think anyone expects Sen. Craig to contend that he had no idea he could have a lawyer. Then again, he if you believe him, he apparently doesn't know the proper way to sit in a restroom stall when all you want is to go to the bathroom, so hey, maybe he didn't know.

Craig's petition to withdraw his guilty plea contradicts his actual plea in several respects - In paragraph 11 of his affidavite (Exhibit A on his petition to withdraw), he claims ignorance of what he was charged with, while the very first paragraph of his plea he acknowledges having read the "arrest report and/or complaint." Craig's affidavit strikes me as misleading - he claims not to have understood what the officer is charging him with, but at the time he enters the plea, it's some time later, by which time he's recieved a copy of the charges against him, and apparently discussed the matter with someone in the prosecutor's office. And, of course, there's the obvious one - right above Craig's signature on his guilty plea, he acknowledges that court cannot take a plea from one who claims innocence, and that he is making no such claim, and now he says he's completely innocent. Plus he now has the ACLU on his side.

Withdrawing a guilty plea requires "manifest injustice", and according to Craig, that injustice occurred because he was pressured by totally inaccurate reports regarding his sexuality, then having a Minnesota police officer make the exact same mistake that Idaho journalists were making caused a panic that lingered for about two months, preventing him from making a knowing, intelligent decision as to what to do.

Basically, Craig pled guilty, hoping that a quick plea to a minor misdemeanor would stay off the press radar and not jump up to sink his political career, even though Craig doesn't claim this was ever a part of his discussions with the prosecutor. (Nor was there, unless Craig left it out, any discussion of any implied promise he believed the officer made. This "deal", to the extent it exists, exists solely in Sen. Craig's head.) Now that word has gotten out, Craig doesn't get the main thing he wanted.

I think this is a strong argument for stiffer sentences, personally. After all, part of what made this plea so easy, and certainly so tempting to Sen. Craig, is that it could happen just by him signing a few pieces of paper and forwarding a relatively modest sum of money. I don't doubt that the fine is typical for first offenders for that offense, but maybe if he'd had to spend a weekend in jail, or do a bunch of community service, or (if you're a fan of alternate sentencing), stand in the airport terminal wearing a washboard that said "DO NOT USE THE BATHROOMS TO SOLICIT ILLICIT SEX FROM STRANGERS," he wouldn't have seen a plea as a low-cost was to make all this go away.

Is Southwest Airlines telling us that if we fly with them, we will not see attractive young women in modestly revealing attire?

Not sure how that's going to fly as a marketing slogan, but OK.

Brian Nichols' lawyers file notice of intent to use a defense of mental illness.

The filing is here, and basically sets out the claim that Nichols was impaired by a delusional disorder. The specifics of how this claim will be established will follow later.

Obviously, this isn't actually a surprise, given that few expected Nichols' defense to hinge on raising doubts as to who the shooter was. Even if unsuccessful in the guilt phase (and such defenses rarely succeed), evidence of mental illness may persuade a jury to sentence Nichols to life in prison instead of death.

Jury selection in Nichols' trial is currently scheduled for October 1.

One can't really do much better than Karol spending the afternoon at Ground Zero countering 9/11 conspiracy freaks.

...it's good to know karate.

Case in point, this Florida teenager who encountered a man bursting into his home with a chainsaw, and used his martial arts skills to take the chainsaw away and hold the man until police arrived.

This marks the last time in this young man's life that anyone is going to mess with him.

Saw Shoot 'Em Up over the weekend - a movie that now belongs in the dictionary under "Mindless Violence." There's sort of a plot, but it's really stupid, so don't concern yourself with it - what matters is Clive Owen kills a lot of people, and does so in very entertaining and creative ways. This movie has less redeeming social value than Grindhouse or Transformers, but holds up extremely well in the brainless entertainment category.

My wife is in denial about this movie - she really liked it, but she has trouble getting her mind around the fact that she enjoyed a movie that basically offered nothing but spectacularly over the top violence. After all, she thinks, she's a woman, dammit! She shouldn't like movies unless they contain emotional depth, fully developed characters who grow as they interact with their environment, or at least a storyline that pretends to make sense. And yet...

On a side note, I married well.

Matt also saw the movie this weekend, and also approved.

Barack Obama's most prominent supporter tries to wreck inconveniently located wedding party.

Dawn Summers announces support for Hillary Clinton.

Run a porn site featuring your wife. A Chandler, AZ police officer got fired after it came to light that his wife was a featured entertainer at an adult website. Various police officers testified at a disciplinary hearing about getting crap from citizens familiar with the site while trying to do their jobs. This being America, the officer sues, claiming the city violated his right to free expression by not letting him be a cop and a poor man's Larry Flynt all at the same time.

Per a 9th Circuit ruling, which can be read here, it turns out the police were within their rights to can him. One one hand, they find that his speech:

"...did not give the public any information about the
operations, mission or function of the police department, and
were not even close to the kind of private remarks that the
Court has countenanced. His activities were simply vulgar
and indecent. They did not contribute speech on a matter of
public concern. The Dibles could not prevail if Ronald
Dible’s speech is deemed to have been related to his employment."

Regarding the department's justification, the court finds:

It would not seem to require an astute
moral philosopher or a brilliant social scientist to discern the
fact that Ronald Dible’s activities, when known to the public,
would be “detrimental to the mission and functions of the
employer.”

One judge dissented, believing firing the plaintiff for his website violated the First Amendment. He did, however, concur that the firing was justified, because the officer lied to his superiors during the investigation.

Such are the types of scenarios that frame our rights. And no, I have no idea where one can view the pictures in question.

Tip - Patterico.

Hyundai's chairman convicted of embezzeling $100 million from his company. However, an appellate court in Korea has decided he will not go to prison, as he is too important to South Korea's economy.

If this claim ever got traction in the U.S., I think my wife's shopping habits might make her legally untouchable.

(Note to spouse - Not really, and more shopping isn't going to put you over the top.)

Study finds rock stars more likely to die premature death than other people.

Lifeguard saves shark from swimmers.

You read that right. He saved the shark. Dawn Summers is probably trying to get the lifeguard fired and/or arrested as we speak.

Spent Labor Day the way our founding fathers meant it to be spent - Meat Loaf concert. Because, dammit, schlock makes music fun, and in the schlock category, there is simply nobody in Mr. Aday's weight class.

Pun somewhat intended.

Meat Loaf is an unfortunate victim of the law of diminishing returns, by which I mean he really, really needs to patch things up with Jim Steinman. Put it this way - Bat out of Hell is an album all rock fans should own, Bat II is a pretty good rock album, and Bat III has a few good songs, plus something with Jennifer Hudson that is far, far less than the sum of its parts. At this pace, Bat out of Hell IV would consist mainly of covers of K-Fed songs.

But I digress. As anyone who's tried to sing "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" in their car on the way to work knows, properly singing a Meat Loaf song is not for the faint of heart, and it's apparent onstage that getting through two hours of belting is asking a bit much of the 60 year old Meat Loaf, although he did have his moments where he sounded almost as good as I did in the car...I mean, as he did when the albums were recorded. Regrettably, this did leave a few moments where the show resembled a kick-ass arena rock band being fronted by Dennis Hastert.





OK, fine. He's aged better than Dennis Hastert.

Seriously, the band was amazing, and did more than their share of the heavy lifting. And once Meat broke out the wig and the cheesy 70's tuxedo for "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," nobody minded that he couldn't hold the high notes like we remembered.

Finally held my fantasy draft - CBS Sportsline fantasy leagues are starting 3 WR's this year instead of two, so this year, you draft 4 WR's and only one kicker. With that in mind, I wound up with...

QB's Matt Hasselbeck, Jake Delhomme
RB's Shaun Alexander, Cedric Benson, Jerious Norwood
WR's Steve Smith, Darrell Jackson, Jericho Cotchery, Greg Jennings
TE's Todd Heap, Daniel Graham
D - Broncos, Seahawks
K - Neil Rackers

And, as always, for comparative purposes, should I go 2-12, it would be OK if the two wins were over this team: (By the way, happy anniversary, baby!)

QB's Jay Cutler, Eli Manning
RB's Willie Parker, Cadillac Williams, Warrick Dunn
WR's Isaac Bruce, Plaxico Burress, Santana Moss, Eddie Kennison
TE's Antonio Gates, Zach Miller
D - Jaguars, Bills
K - Jeff Wilkins