Crosblog

I got tagged with the question "name five things that people with whom I generally associate think are really cool, but that leave me cold."

First thought - good Lord, do I need to get out more. (Who the hell do I generally associate with? The drunks at the bar I play poker at? Criminals? My dogs?) That would result in a list that included things like "Going all-in with J-10 suited", "driving drunk after beating your spouse", and "dropping a peanut butter sandwich on the floor", all of which have appeal with the above individuals, but not so much with me. Thankfully, I do have a couple of human friends, and they're generally wrong about:

1. Cell phones - Now that I have one advanced enough to download pretty cool games, I can live with the blasted thing, but am I really the only person in the world who thinks that being accessible to anyone, anywhere, at anytime is a bad thing? When the rest of the world falls into line about when it's a good time to leave me the hell alone, then these things will be a blessing. That day is not yet upon us.

2. Major League Baseball - Yes, I'm still P.O.'ed about the strike. Despite the fact that what would normally be my team is playing the best ball in the league right now, I can't be moved to care. Baseball isn't a charming game, it's a boring game made charming when you like the people playing it. I don't. Also, I'm married to a Cubs fan. Those of you complaining about dealing with Red Sox fans prior to the fall of 2004, let me just say that you're a bunch of wusses. Sometimes, when bad things happen, it makes you wonder if there's a God. Watching the Cubs can also affect your faith, by convincing their fans that

1.) Oh, yes, there is a God, and

2.) He really, really doesn't like you.

3. Highly manicured lawns - Speaking of God, let me pause to thank Him for letting me live in a subdivision that does not have a Yard Gestapo. For those of you not fortunate enough to live in a suburb, the Yard Gestapo is often a part of those subdivisions that bill themselves as "communities." They enforce height restrictions on grass, limit the type, size, and number of plants you can have around the house, and somehow have nothing better to do than check up on you to make sure you're living up to your housing covenants. You get a bad marginal return for the effort you expend. I have a friend who weeds and cuts and plants and trims to please his Yard Gestapo. I mow the lawn regularly, and use Roundup when things get out of hand. I figure my friend's yard looks about 20-30% better than mine, and he expends about 100% more effort. I did the math.

4. Will Ferrell - He's mildly amusing. Anchorman didn't suck. But why I have to see the 19th film where he acts like a mildly retarded 10 year old on opening weekend is not something I'll understand soon.

5. John Edwards - In this highly red state, I have a disproportionately blue circle of friends, so the Great Southern Hope of the Democratic party is much loved in these circles. Again, I don't hate the man, but the idea that this goober is going to bring the south home would be funny, if I didn't love the people suffering from this delusion. I don't recall him spearheading any legislation of great interest to the south, and his good looks (gotta admit, he's a handsome man), and everyman southern appeal delivered a grand total of squat on election day. Safely removed from the Senate, avoiding a re-election campaign he probably would have lost, he will now fade into obscurity, being a non-factor for 2008 who watches Phil Bredesen take his turn as the man who will bring the south home.

Tag, you're it - let's see, whose turn it is? I'll burden Dave, fellow Atlantan Michael C., and because she didn't say no tagbacks, I will note that the person who tagged me hasn't posted her own list yet.