Friday, August 29, 2008
I went to the wrong college...
College president forced to resign.
Apparently there was something unseemly about his presence in this picture.
A search is on for a new president. Chief requirement - must be much less cool than this guy.
Apparently there was something unseemly about his presence in this picture.
A search is on for a new president. Chief requirement - must be much less cool than this guy.
To repeat...
This is why I don't watch conventions...
Due to a busy work week, I went to bed and missed the speech. My wife came to bed somewhat later, having stayed up through it.
Me: Are you inspired?
Her: Good night, Gib.
I am so voting for John McCain.
Me: Are you inspired?
Her: Good night, Gib.
I am so voting for John McCain.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
You have got to be freaking kidding me...
Monday, August 25, 2008
Yeah, this is why I stopped playing baseball too...
9 year old told he can no longer pitch in his Little League. The reason? He throws the ball too fast.
You know, they say that sports build character, but not if you're too good. You have to lose once in a while to get the full experience. Otherwise, you turn into a giant douchebag.
You know, they say that sports build character, but not if you're too good. You have to lose once in a while to get the full experience. Otherwise, you turn into a giant douchebag.
We're number 1!
Worst Sports City in the U.S.?
Atlanta, Georgia!
And that's not even considering the whiny, demanding, front-running fans who have stopped caring about the football team after whatshisname went to prison, and are now in the process of forgetting we have a baseball team.
Atlanta, Georgia!
And that's not even considering the whiny, demanding, front-running fans who have stopped caring about the football team after whatshisname went to prison, and are now in the process of forgetting we have a baseball team.
Leadership is about setting an example...
Cuban Olympian banned for life after kicking a referee in the face.
Fidel Castro takes his side. Note to Cubans - you can rebel against unjust authority. Fidel Castro says it's OK.
Fidel Castro takes his side. Note to Cubans - you can rebel against unjust authority. Fidel Castro says it's OK.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I bet this never happens to Enya...
Country singer knocked out cold by flying beer can.
Here you can watch Stone Cold Steve Austin show you how to catch a beer thrown by an audience member without injury.
And here are some great titles for country music songs - many of which are not real. The guy who got knocked out should write songs with those titles when he comes to.
Here you can watch Stone Cold Steve Austin show you how to catch a beer thrown by an audience member without injury.
And here are some great titles for country music songs - many of which are not real. The guy who got knocked out should write songs with those titles when he comes to.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I will give the Olympics this...
Who would have thought "girls jumping on trampolines" was actually a sport?
Null Set...
You may have heard about the story of a federal drug trial where one juror refused to deliberate, telling the judge he did not believe the law the defendant was charged with violating was constitutional. The judge removed the juror, replacing him with an alternate, and the jury ultimately convicted the defendant, Robert Luisi, of the charges.
The juror's efforts have been cited with some approval in various quarters. The motivation for supporting the juror comes, I suspect, largely from opposition to drug laws, and a wish that enough juries who refused to convict drug defendants would ultimately do what legislatures will not, and legalize drugs, in fact if not in law.
However, whatever benefits jury nullification may present, altering social policy will never be one of them.
Obligatory disclaimer - I am a prosecutor. Adjust how you view the following as you see fit.
The problem with jury nullification as an instrument to change social policy is simple - defendants don't want to bet on it. To have a clear case of a jury rejecting the law itself - the kind of verdict that actually might send a message that the community does not agree with the law, you'd need strong evidence of the defendant's guilt, a lack of a reasonable alternative version of the facts, and a jury that still acquits. In the case above, as the judge's order removing the juror noted, the defendant raised an entrapment defense. Had the jury acquitted, it would have been seen as a victory for the entrapment defense more than a rejection of the drug laws. (The holdout juror - who apparently believed the defendant did what he was accused of doing - was never going to persuade the other jurors to reject the law, however, factual arguments in favor of acquittal might have had more effect.)
For a jury to nullify, there has to be a jury, which means the defendant has to go to trial. Defense lawyers don't generally advise defendants to go to trial without an actual defense - the odds of success with nullification are just too low, and the risks are too high for them to recommend it. And, since defense lawyers aren't allowed to argue nullification, should a clearly guilty defendant's hopes hinge on nullification, there will pretty much always be at least a fig leaf of a factual defense offered, and should it prevail, it will look to the world like the factual defense worked, and not nullification. Which is all well and good for the individual defendant, who gets to go back to selling drugs or whatever, but it does nothing for the larger cause.
If a jury nullifies because of some specific fact relating to that particular defendant, that's one thing. But letting a bad guy go in the hope that that a particular law will stop being enforce will accomplish nothing but letting the bad guy go.
The juror's efforts have been cited with some approval in various quarters. The motivation for supporting the juror comes, I suspect, largely from opposition to drug laws, and a wish that enough juries who refused to convict drug defendants would ultimately do what legislatures will not, and legalize drugs, in fact if not in law.
However, whatever benefits jury nullification may present, altering social policy will never be one of them.
Obligatory disclaimer - I am a prosecutor. Adjust how you view the following as you see fit.
The problem with jury nullification as an instrument to change social policy is simple - defendants don't want to bet on it. To have a clear case of a jury rejecting the law itself - the kind of verdict that actually might send a message that the community does not agree with the law, you'd need strong evidence of the defendant's guilt, a lack of a reasonable alternative version of the facts, and a jury that still acquits. In the case above, as the judge's order removing the juror noted, the defendant raised an entrapment defense. Had the jury acquitted, it would have been seen as a victory for the entrapment defense more than a rejection of the drug laws. (The holdout juror - who apparently believed the defendant did what he was accused of doing - was never going to persuade the other jurors to reject the law, however, factual arguments in favor of acquittal might have had more effect.)
For a jury to nullify, there has to be a jury, which means the defendant has to go to trial. Defense lawyers don't generally advise defendants to go to trial without an actual defense - the odds of success with nullification are just too low, and the risks are too high for them to recommend it. And, since defense lawyers aren't allowed to argue nullification, should a clearly guilty defendant's hopes hinge on nullification, there will pretty much always be at least a fig leaf of a factual defense offered, and should it prevail, it will look to the world like the factual defense worked, and not nullification. Which is all well and good for the individual defendant, who gets to go back to selling drugs or whatever, but it does nothing for the larger cause.
If a jury nullifies because of some specific fact relating to that particular defendant, that's one thing. But letting a bad guy go in the hope that that a particular law will stop being enforce will accomplish nothing but letting the bad guy go.
Oops...
A Kentucky sheriff and deputy get in their car and drive to California...
...let me repeat that. They drive to California.
From Kentucky.
To pick up a man who failed to appear on charges of fleeing and drunk driving. (Not exactly the world's most serious crimes. Far be it from me to encourage rewarding people for not showing up for court, but the unpleasant truth is there are only so many cops and only so much money to spend, and sometimes judgment calls have to be made.)
But I digress. They go to California (from Kentucky), pick the guy up, and drive him all the way back to Kentucky (from California).
Where they find out he's not the guy they were looking for.
You know all those horrible stereotypes about what rubes people from the South are? Yeah, this isn't going to help much.
Apparently whoever the actual criminal was stole this guy's ID and used it when he was originally arrested. It should be noted that the guy in question asked California officials to compare his photo and fingerprints to the wanted man, and they never did that. So it's not like the blue states come off smelling like roses here. It was a jailer in Kentucky who finally compared mugshots, at which time the real guy noted he was much better looking than the imposter. For his part, the sheriff claims he would not have gone to get him if local prosecutors hadn't agreed with the retrieval. And the suspect himself didn't help matters by signing a waiver of extradition.
Still, while the guy (who was incarcerated in California for domestic violence) is thinking about suing people, he's not completely bummed out by the whole experience. He actually kind of liked Kentucky, apparently:
...let me repeat that. They drive to California.
From Kentucky.
To pick up a man who failed to appear on charges of fleeing and drunk driving. (Not exactly the world's most serious crimes. Far be it from me to encourage rewarding people for not showing up for court, but the unpleasant truth is there are only so many cops and only so much money to spend, and sometimes judgment calls have to be made.)
But I digress. They go to California (from Kentucky), pick the guy up, and drive him all the way back to Kentucky (from California).
Where they find out he's not the guy they were looking for.
You know all those horrible stereotypes about what rubes people from the South are? Yeah, this isn't going to help much.
Apparently whoever the actual criminal was stole this guy's ID and used it when he was originally arrested. It should be noted that the guy in question asked California officials to compare his photo and fingerprints to the wanted man, and they never did that. So it's not like the blue states come off smelling like roses here. It was a jailer in Kentucky who finally compared mugshots, at which time the real guy noted he was much better looking than the imposter. For his part, the sheriff claims he would not have gone to get him if local prosecutors hadn't agreed with the retrieval. And the suspect himself didn't help matters by signing a waiver of extradition.
Still, while the guy (who was incarcerated in California for domestic violence) is thinking about suing people, he's not completely bummed out by the whole experience. He actually kind of liked Kentucky, apparently:
‘‘It’s so green, and the people are so nice,’’ he said. ‘‘I just might move there.’’His trip to Kentucky will have to wait - they flew him back to California.
Enjoy the Olympics, take 312...
Whenever any Olympic sponsor was asked about the inconvenient fact that China is a brutal dictatorship, they always responded in more or less the same way - that fully participating and not making a big deal publicly about China's problems would pave the way to a more open, freer China.
I've never been much for boycotts, but I would get a kick out of it if a bunch of people wrote these sponsors and basically asked if they were willing to bet our continued patronage on whether or not they were right. Simple test - if China becomes more open and democratic, we buy everything we need from you guys. If not, the phrase "Official ______ of the 2008 Olympics" officially becomes the Kiss of Death. Does anyone sponsoring the Olympics really believe what they say about the effect it will have on China to put their shareholder's money where their mouth is?
I point this out because somebody just noticed that while China promised to allow protestors at the Games, somehow they never got around to approving anyone's permits for it, and have actually arrested some of the people who applied.
Also making interesting reading is this story about when reporters got a brief, unobstructed interaction with Chinese gymnast Yang Yilin, one of the athletes whose age has come into question. If you believe the Chinese government, there are only a few months age difference between her and American Shawn Johnson, yet seeing the two at the medalists news conference next to each other made it almost impossible to believe the two were the same age.
Of course, Johnson has almost certainly led a much less sheltered life than Yang, growing up with a free press and being allowed more opportunities to be a regular teenager, and that could very well account for Johnson showing more poise and maturity when confronting the media.
It very well could just be that. Really, it could.
Enjoy the Olympics.
I've never been much for boycotts, but I would get a kick out of it if a bunch of people wrote these sponsors and basically asked if they were willing to bet our continued patronage on whether or not they were right. Simple test - if China becomes more open and democratic, we buy everything we need from you guys. If not, the phrase "Official ______ of the 2008 Olympics" officially becomes the Kiss of Death. Does anyone sponsoring the Olympics really believe what they say about the effect it will have on China to put their shareholder's money where their mouth is?
I point this out because somebody just noticed that while China promised to allow protestors at the Games, somehow they never got around to approving anyone's permits for it, and have actually arrested some of the people who applied.
Also making interesting reading is this story about when reporters got a brief, unobstructed interaction with Chinese gymnast Yang Yilin, one of the athletes whose age has come into question. If you believe the Chinese government, there are only a few months age difference between her and American Shawn Johnson, yet seeing the two at the medalists news conference next to each other made it almost impossible to believe the two were the same age.
Of course, Johnson has almost certainly led a much less sheltered life than Yang, growing up with a free press and being allowed more opportunities to be a regular teenager, and that could very well account for Johnson showing more poise and maturity when confronting the media.
It very well could just be that. Really, it could.
Enjoy the Olympics.
Chavez - Big countries have every right to invade small countries that irritate them!
Venezuela's Hugo Chavez sticks up for Russia's invasion of Georgia.
Reached for comment, Captain Unilateral replied - "Yeah, Chavez doesn't bug us as much as Georgia bugged Putin."
He then paused, stroked his chin, and added "Yet."
Reached for comment, Captain Unilateral replied - "Yeah, Chavez doesn't bug us as much as Georgia bugged Putin."
He then paused, stroked his chin, and added "Yet."
Friday, August 15, 2008
Live blogging the Olympics
OK, Phelps just won gold #7. He beat some Serbian guy, whose name is probably Serbian for "that trash-talking French guy who got smoked in the relay a few days back."
The Serbs are filing a protest.
Now, if George Bush can take a few minutes away from negotiating with Russia and find his Captain Unilateral costume, maybe we can persuade the Serbs to see reason.
The Serbs are filing a protest.
Now, if George Bush can take a few minutes away from negotiating with Russia and find his Captain Unilateral costume, maybe we can persuade the Serbs to see reason.
Tinkerbell in handcuffs...
Disney workers, many dressed as the popular Disney characters, were arrested while protesting during a labor dispute with Disney. The employees, union workers whose contract had expired, are upset about the company's wage and health care proposals.
Why? What did you think this post would be about?
Why? What did you think this post would be about?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
In today's edition of "Who's funding this crap?"
Scientists confirm existence of beer goggles, quantifies effect.
People are about 10% hotter when you've had a pint and a half of beer.
Which makes me wonder, when my wife refers to me as a "six-pack" - she may not be talking about my abs...
People are about 10% hotter when you've had a pint and a half of beer.
Which makes me wonder, when my wife refers to me as a "six-pack" - she may not be talking about my abs...
Marital Fidelity: A Darn Good Idea!
Scorned wife auctions off evidence of husband's infidelity on eBay, including a photograph of his mistress's allegedly "huge" underpants and a "size small" condom wrapper.
Reached for comment, John Edwards was quoted as saying "This story isn't about me! It's not even my size!"
There was a long pause.
Then Edwards further commented: "I was talking about the wrapper! Geesh!"
Reached for comment, John Edwards was quoted as saying "This story isn't about me! It's not even my size!"
There was a long pause.
Then Edwards further commented: "I was talking about the wrapper! Geesh!"
Shaping young minds...
College professors get in heated debate.
Much profanity is used.
One of the professors drops his pants.
This is in a room full of students and faculty.
Feel free to watch, if you like.
Something to remember next time the academic community tells you who to vote for.
Much profanity is used.
One of the professors drops his pants.
This is in a room full of students and faculty.
Feel free to watch, if you like.
Something to remember next time the academic community tells you who to vote for.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Shocked
Chinese police assault British journalists. The journalists were filming a protest taking place near the main Olympic complex. This comes as a surprise to nobody, assuming everyone knew the Chinese were lying when they promised not to restrict the press back when they were first awarded the games.
But hey, how bout that synchonized diving?
But hey, how bout that synchonized diving?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
If this actually existed, police would have no more recruiting issues...
Police looking for man who repeatedly asked adult store for free porn.
He showed what he claimed was a detective's badge, and claimed to be with the "age verification unit," charged with watching videos to make sure no one was underage.
He was also concerned with making sure the movies had plots that everyone could follow. Because sometimes movies have script issues, you know?
He showed what he claimed was a detective's badge, and claimed to be with the "age verification unit," charged with watching videos to make sure no one was underage.
He was also concerned with making sure the movies had plots that everyone could follow. Because sometimes movies have script issues, you know?
Friday, August 08, 2008
People who thought John Edwards was a tool right all along
John Edwards recalibrates falsehoods - admits affair, still denies paternity, claims wife's cancer in remission while cheating on her.
Because, you know, if he did it while she was really sick, that would make him a douchebag.
Because, you know, if he did it while she was really sick, that would make him a douchebag.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Michigan sucks, exhibit #8975
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Just wondering...
If the John McCain "Celebrity" ad is racist because it juxtaposes a black man and white women, what does that make this season of "So You Think You Can Dance?"
Either of the guys would be a good winner - but I'm going to call it for Joshua by a nose.
Either of the guys would be a good winner - but I'm going to call it for Joshua by a nose.
Fascinating blog...
Courthouse Confessions. A photographer waits outside the Manhattan Criminal Courts building and asks people leaving the courthouse to talk about what brought them there.
A New York Times story on the website is here.
Tip - Volokh.
A New York Times story on the website is here.
Tip - Volokh.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Man...cops used to be cool...
Here's the scene - you're at a party, people are having a good time, maybe getting a little crazier than they should - the police are called to deal with the noise. When the nice police officer gets there, she finds you and a friend cavorting in an apartment pool - and you're not, techincally speaking, clothed. What do you do?
If I may make a suggestion, you should not choose "Offer the officer $20 to take her clothes off and join you." You see, the officer's supervisors probably have a policy frowning upon that sort of thing.
Buzzkills.
If I may make a suggestion, you should not choose "Offer the officer $20 to take her clothes off and join you." You see, the officer's supervisors probably have a policy frowning upon that sort of thing.
Buzzkills.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Why does God hate us?
Not only is Billy Ray Cyrus the worst host in the history of television, we have to listen to an "Achy Breaky Heart" medley?
Well, at least Melissa won.
Well, at least Melissa won.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Meanwhile, my backyard just has stuff like trees
Several residents of Shreveport, LA, poised to become millionaires after natural gas is found on their properties.
Nancy Pelosi was last seen headed to Shreveport, where she planned to accuse residents of looking for quick fixes that would do nothing to reduce energy costs.
Nancy Pelosi was last seen headed to Shreveport, where she planned to accuse residents of looking for quick fixes that would do nothing to reduce energy costs.
When is Ozzie Guillen not the biggest jerk in the stadium?
When he has Minnesota Twins fans around to top him.
The obvious motive for the Twins fans' scurrilous behavior is their vitrolic hatred of the White Sox' most preeminent fan. Basically, to support the Twins is to oppose Hope Itself.
I call on Twins fans everywhere to denounce this outrageous conduct.
The obvious motive for the Twins fans' scurrilous behavior is their vitrolic hatred of the White Sox' most preeminent fan. Basically, to support the Twins is to oppose Hope Itself.
I call on Twins fans everywhere to denounce this outrageous conduct.
