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Monday, March 31, 2008

This means something. I'm sure of it. 


Your Score: Rabbit


You scored 17 Ego, 18 Anxiety, and 18 Agency!



IT was going to be one of Rabbit's busy days. As soon as he woke up he felt important, as if everything depended upon him. It was just the day for Organizing Something, or for Writing a Notice Signed Rabbit, or for Seeing What Everybody Else Thought About It. It was a perfect morning for hurrying round to Pooh, and saying, "Very well, then, I'll tell Piglet," and then going to Piglet, and saying, "Pooh thinks--but perhaps I'd better see Owl first." It was a Captainish sort of day, when everybody said, "Yes, Rabbit " and "No, Rabbit," and waited until he had told them.

You scored as Rabbit!

ABOUT RABBIT: Rabbit is generally considered Clever by his many friends and relations. He is actually a much better reader and writer than Owl, but he doesn't consider it worth mentioning. Instead, Rabbit's real talent lies in Organizing Plans. He organizes rescue parties, makes schemes to reduce Tigger's bounciness, and goes on missions to find out what Christopher Robin does when he's not at the Hundred Acre Woods. Sometimes, however, his Plans do not always go as Planned.

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are smart, practical and you plan ahead. People sometimes think that you don't stress or worry, but this is not the case. You are the kind of person who worries in a practical way. You think a) What are my anxieties about and b)what can be done about them? No useless fretting for you. You don't see the point in sitting around and waiting for things to work out, when you could actually work them out today and save yourself a lot of time and worry. Your friends tend to rely on you, because they know that they can trust you help them work things out.

You sometimes tend to be impatient with people who are less practical in their ways. You don't have much patience for idiots who moan about things but never actually DO anything about them. You have high expectations of everyone, including yourself. When you don't succeed at something, or when something goes wrong despite your best efforts to prevent it, you can get quite hard on yourself. You need to cut yourself some slack and accept that everyone has their faults, even you, and THAT IS OKAY. Let yourself be faulty, every now and then, for the sake of your own sanity.

Link: The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test written by wolfcaroling on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(wolfcaroling)


Tip - Eeyore and Owl.

Can I get the seats that don't catch on fire? 

Dozens hurt in pyro mishap at Wrestlemania. Fortunately, while about 45 people were hurt to some degree, only three needed hospitalization. The WWE has not yet commented.

And I'm sure Vince McMahon thought he'd have a castatrophe-free evening once Floyd Mayweather got through his match with the Big Show.

In other wrestling news - Thanks, Ric.

Friday, March 28, 2008

America: Land of Innovation 

Three words:

Donut. Bacon. Cheeseburger.

I think I can safely say that one donut bacon cheeseburger would have the Rev. Jeremiah Wright singing Lee Greenwood songs.

You know, right up until the moment the heart attack hit.

Super Bowl Sunday for nerds... 

...that would be Wrestlemania Weekend. Looks like an entertaining card, but if you want to know what happens without watching, just figure the opposite of the following predictions...

Bunnymania Lumberjack Match: Beth Phoenix & Melina Perez vs. Ashley Massaro & Maria Kanellis
Who Should Win: Phoenix & Perez are actual wrestlers, the other two not so much.
Who Will Win: Probably Massaro & Kanellis.
Will it Suck? The two actual wrestlers are decent, and Maria at least tries hard. Keep it under five minutes and it won't offend anyone.

Belfast Brawl: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
Who Should Win: Finlay should avenge his battered midget child here.
Who Will Win: JBL through shenanigans.
Will it Suck? No. Both men can deliver a solid brawl.

24 Man Battle Royal/winner vs. ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero
Who Should Win: This type of angle was tailor made for Tommy Dreamer to win the battle royal and the title.
Who Will Win: Chavo loses to whoever wins, who will be either Dreamer or Dreamer protege/punching bag Colin Delaney.
Will it Suck? It won't be Chavo's best work, but the whole affair should satisfy.

Batista v. Umaga
Who Should Win: Umaga winning big would be interesting, and maybe set up a Batista heel run.
Who Will Win: I think they'll give it to Umaga.
Will it Suck? Both men generally bring their A game to big cards. Not only will this not suck, you might be surprised at how good it is.

Money in the Bank match: CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Ken Kennedy vs. Chris Jericho
Who Should Win: My answer to this question will be "Shelton Benjamin" every year until he actually takes the damn thing.
Who Will Win: Surprise entrant Matt Hardy, replacing Jeff Hardy, who lost his spot due to a drug suspension and has suspiciously not been replaced. If it's one of the seven listed performers, it will be MVP.
Will it Suck? Not by a longshot.

Career Match: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Who Should Win: If they're not going to do an angle that sees Flair challenging for the world title at the close of the show, Michaels should win clean and end Flair's career.
Who Will Win: Michaels.
Will it Suck? No, and even if the match itself has any shortcomings, Ric Flair's emotional farewell will more than make up for it.

Floyd Mayweather vs. The Big Show
Who Should Win: If the WWE could get someone like Oscar De La Hoya to run in and cost Mayweather the match, that would be awesome.
Who Will Win: Assuming nothing like that fits in the budget, Mayweather wins due to shenanigans.
Will it Suck? As a match? Of course it will suck. Show's a good entertainer, but he's not the guy to get a great match out of a guy with minimal training who's probably not allowed to risk himself too much. Still, Show's a good enough entertainer to make this interesting.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. The Undertaker
Who Should Win: Really no wrong answer here. Edge would be a great guy to end Taker's streak.
Who Will Win: That being said, Edge doesn't need the win to stay on top. New champ.
Will it Suck? This will not suck.

WWE Title Match: Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
Who Should Win: This should have been a one on one Orton-Cena match. Cena should have won that, and should win this.
Who Will Win: Everyone believes Triple H takes it. Including me.
Will it Suck? No.

This reminds me of a Vegas story I forgot to tell. I was waiting for the hotel shuttle at the airport and my wife went off to get something from the gift shop or something, and she came back, she had a celebrity sighting to report:

Spouse: Is the Big Show bald now?

Me: Yes.

Spouse: I just saw the Big Show get into a limo. I think he was checking me out, too.

Me: That better have been all he was doing. I'd hate to have to kick his ass.

Anyways, should be a fun show. Alternate take on WMXXIV at Mike's.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

This is news? 

Marriage is better if the wife is hotter than the husband.

Tip - Ace.

Fuhgeddaboudit diplomacy... 

China upset that U.S. accidentally shipped ballistic missle parts to Taiwan.

My dream U.S. response - the most Tony Soprano-like member of the administration (Cheney, I presume) tells the Chinese "Yeah, when you crack down in Tibet like that, sometimes accidents happen."

Monday, March 24, 2008

So, where the hell have you been? 

Vegas, baby.

You know you've married well when your spouse suggests going to Vegas for the opening weekend of the NCAA tournament. It's actually cool enough that one can overlook the following exchange, which actually did happen:

Me After Finding Spouse at Poker Table: So, how are you doing?

(Spouse displays large stacks of chips in front of her.)

Me: Cool.

Cut to about two hours later

Spouse After Finding Me: Here you go.

(Spouse hands me approximately $20.)

Me: What happened to all the chips?

Spouse: OK, what happened was, I thought this guy was bluffing...
She's cute, but she's expensive.

Most of our gambling was on the tournament, and a fair amount of it went badly. (Seriously, why the hell did we bet on Indiana? We hate Indiana.) Had a very satisfying payoff when Xavier came back to cover against Georgia, whom we still blame for keeping our alma mater out of the tournament.

Speaking of the alma mater, they won their opening round NIT game, but failed to cover, thus benefiting them, but harming me, a feeling I haven't had since 1994, when four years of tuition and room and board were given to them in exchange for a degee that maybe could have carried a bit more weight with the law school acceptance committees...

...but I digress. Sports books are awesome places to watch games, since you can have a room full of people go absolutely nuts when the last guy off a #1 seed (and 25 point favorite's) bench makes a meaningless basket in the final minute to turn a 24 point lead into a 26 point lead. I also learned where my real skill lies - second half point totals. I was getting winners wrong right and left - (thank you, Pitt and Drake), but I batted over 80% picking total points in the second half, missing only two games out of I think 11, incorrectly guessing that Villanova would not make a run in the 1st round, but South Alabama would.

Hoo boy, did South Alabama suck.

It was fun though. We will definitely do that again. And lest you think there is no chapter of the divine comedy that is Traveling With My Spouse - our flight to Atlanta leaves at 10:40 p.m. Spouse is convinced that we can catch the last 9:00 p.m. shuttle from Red Rock to the airport, and get there in plenty of time. Red Rock not being terribly close to said airport, yours truly is a bit concerned, but here's the thing. The spouse hates little in the world with the fury she has for the concept of sitting in an airport waiting for your plane to board. By her reasoning, if you don't dash onto the plane right before they close the door, you have wasted part of your life. My thought is that if spend time stressing about missing your flight, your life will be shorter than it might have been. These two worldviews tend to come into conflict somewhat when we travel.

We'll be married seven years this September. Who'd a thunk it?

In any event, this theory never gets tested. At 8:30 or so, we check with the concierge about what my wife assured me several times was a 9:00 shuttle. We find out the last shuttle actually left at 8:00 p.m.

Smart. Sexy. Likes sports.

Can't read a bus schedule.

In her defense, the key words on said schedule - "to airport" and "from airport" are really small and who'd have thought they'd be so important?

In conclusion - Vegas fun. Wife crazy. Go Tar Heels.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Yeah...that's the reason... 

Men prefer pale women. Apparently the reason is we have a
"subconscious association with "innocence, purity, modesty, virginity, vulnerability and goodness,"
Speaking as a man with a very fair-skinned spouse, let me just say...

...


...


...can you believe Georgia won three games in two days? They totally got Illinois State's spot and I hope Xavier guts them like a halibut.

Tip - Karol.

Cause/Effect 

China continues violent clampdown on Tibetan protests...

...Pro-China candidate for Taiwan's Presidency has uncomfortable week ahead of him.

So, how's the weather where you are? 

Atlanta had a fun little weekend, what with the SEC tournament, and...what else was there?

Oh, right. The tornado.

Our corner of Metro Atlanta got lucky, frankly. Crazy redhead and I went out to meet friends of hers for a bowling party (that's right - we headed out in tornado weather to go bowling) - and wound up a bit north of where the bad stuff was - it was raining sideways where we were, but all things considered, it could have been worse. People were telling stories about getting the roofs and walls ripped off their homes, but we come home to find no trees down, and our power didn't even go off. In a city that took somewhere in the neighborhood of $150 million in damage, we were definitely fortunate.

People have been encouraged to stay out of Atlanta today, if at all possible, so that crews can clean up.

All that, and I couldn't even break 100 at the lanes.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Ummm...yeah... 

China claims Dalai Lama is causing violence in Tibet.

Because the Dalai Lama is, at heart, basically what happens when 50 Cent obtains Enlightenment.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Could have knocked me over with a feather... 

Did you know that you can survive for awhile on American Idol on marginal talent if you're hot?

Note to Kristy - Haley Scarnato bought herself a few extra weeks by wearing really short skirts. Just something to consider.

Way to rock it, Hugo... 

Colombia's President Uribe has never been more popular.

Meanwhile, Hugo's seen better days, according to this article suggesting that Chavez' best hope would be for President Bush to tell the truth about his ties to FARC.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Bubble-licious... 

As we get closer to NCAA Selection Sunday - conference tournaments start ending, which means teams start screwing with what should have been perfectly reasonable predictions.

I'm looking primarily at you, the Toreros of The University of San Diego. These jokers were unquestionably NIT-bound until they beat both St. Mary's and Gonzaga on consecutive days to win the West Coast Conference Tournament. Everyone's projections had either the Zags or the Marys winning the automatic bid, and the other getting the at-large, but with USD getting the automatic bid, Gonzaga and St. Mary's will now both require at-large berths, which both unquestionably deserve.

Every projected bracket I've seen has Illinois State getting in, albeit barely, which, despite my bias, I'm inclined to doubt. Big conference bubble schools I had falling short, such as Ohio State and Kentucky racked up big wins over the weekend and have probably played themselves in, while the Redbirds decided to not show up for the biggest game of their season. I think the Missouri Valley's second best team (which ISU unquestionably is), deserves an at-large big, but I also think that the committee would love an excuse to not take them, and I think Sunday's wretched performance against Drake provides such an excuse.

Western Kentucky winning the Sun Belt may have screwed up a lot of proposed brackets, since the Hilltoppers' at-large prospects were fairly suspect compared to conference favorite South Alabama (which has nothing to worry about, at-large wise, although losing probably dropped them to an 11-12 seed vs. a 7-8.) Fortunately, some of us did suspect the WKU would be able to pull it out, and planned for two Sun Belt teams. I also already had surprise Colonial tournament champion George Mason in my bracket (as an at-large), although the Colonial getting two bids is an iffy proposition. However, both George Mason and at-large contender Virginia Commonwealth have impressed in past tourney appearances, and I think VCU should still squeak in.

The last potential mid-major fly in the ointment could come this week, if guaranteed tournament team Kent State falters in the MAC tournament. The MAC is a one-bid league this year if Kent State prevails, so an upset by Akron or Western Michigan in the finals will boot somebody else out of the top 65.

Major conference tournaments will also give iffy teams like Oregon, St. Joseph's, and UNLV a shot to play their way in with a couple of wins. A big conference school with 17-20 wins doesn't necessarily have to win the whole thing to get in the way San Diego did, but can take advantage of one last shot at a Vanderbilt or a Xavier to rack up a big win that impresses a committee desperately looking for a way to shoehorn out Virginia Commonwealth or Illinois State in favor of an eighth Big East team or a sixth Big Ten school.

Although the good news for ISU is I have three schools from Conference USA in, and most of what I've read says that if Memphis wins the tournament, C-USA is a one-bid league. Good news for us, sucks to be UAB.

I still think the final is North Carolina-UCLA, and I still don't have a whole bunch of interest in seeing it compared to, say, Butler-Xavier. Hell, give me Oral Roberts-South Alabama. On second thought, don't give me that last one.

South Alabama would win in a rout.

Monday, March 10, 2008

From the "I'll Believe It When I See It," Department... 

Brian Nichols' trial set for July 10.

Puppy takes a trip... 

Before...

DSCN0075

Smutyan: So, what's going to happen to me at the vet?

Me: OK, you remember when Bill Clinton was going hard after Barack Obama for awhile? And that didn't work out so good, he got kind of moved to a less aggressive role?

Smutyan: Yeah...

Me: Well, it's kind of like that. Now hop in the car.

After...

DSCN2212

We took the stupid clown collar off this weekend, but he looked so pathetic with it on, we had to get pictures.

Want me to vote for you for President? 

Figure out some way to get the Ukraine to invade.

Tip - Jonah Goldberg.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Dear People's Republic of China... 

You know how you always tell us you're a big, strong, important country that's worth being taken seriously? Well, you know something big, strong, important countries worth taking seriously don't do?

They don't fear Bjork. They let Bjork say any silly little thing that pops into her fool head.

I mean, seriously, people - Bjork?!?



As a rule, anyone who fears the above deserves to be mocked and any breakaway former province would probably be better off declaring independence than reunifying and submitting themselves to being ruled by such losers.

As a rule.

(And while I do kid, a tip of the cap to Bjork herself - I really wish I could stand her music.)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

I could never even hit a fairway... 

Pro golfer charged with killing a hawk, by driving golf balls at it until he finally struck and killed it.

Well, in his defense - so far in 2008, he hadn't been playing all that great, so maybe it never occurred to him that he was actually a good enough shot to hit the bird.

And because we try to remember the victim at this blog, here is some information on the red-shouldered hawk, a medium sized bird commonly found in the Eastern U.S. and Canada, and noted for its call.

Why kiss other people's babies? 

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is pregnant and due in May.

Gov. Palin has been my preference for John McCain's VP nominee for awhile now. Although she claims she won't miss any serious time as Governor, a newborn seems like it might derail a national campaign, despite the apparent optimism of the Draft Sarah Palin website.

So, on behalf, of America, let me just say - Thanks, Todd.

Um...Palin's husband's name is Todd, if anyone was wondering.



Still - trade that salmon for a baby and tell me she doesn't have your vote.

I suggested Palin awhile back in a comment on Karol's site, and some other commenters thought Palin needs to sit this one out. A version of that I understand if you're pessimistic about McCain's chances - this election is a likely loser for the GOP no matter who the nominee is, so future stars like Palin and Bobby Jindal should stay in their current jobs and be ready to go in 2012. Put them on a losing ticket today, and you risk turning them into nothing more than John Edwards, only more macho.

And nobody wants that.

Gee, you think? 

Zimbabwe elections will not be free and fair.

Fortunately, the UN is on the case, or I'm sure they will be, once they gone dealing with...well, you know...

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

But he's different now! 

Karol posts about the Democrats who thought John McCain was Super Happy Fun Awesome back when he last ran for President (you know the guy the GOP should have nominated if they really cared about Ronald Reagan's legacy, offered by people who thought Reagan was the devil in the 1980's.) People who would have loved to vote for John McCain back then, who now that the opportunity is actually going to present itself, have taken a closer look.

Things that must be preserved for posterity's sake... 

...include great works of art, such as Handel's Messiah, the Mona Lisa, and the 1992 Royal Rumble (the one Ric Flair won).

It also includes this picture of my nephew dressed for a school project as former President Martin Van Buren.

DSCN0321

Compare and contrast.



In the category of "Baddest Muttonchops," I think MVB is pretty clearly out-rocked.

It is important to preserve such things, firstly, so that we may continue to discuss Van Buren's role in failing to abate financial panic in 1837, but also so that we may show pictures of my nephew wearing muttonchops to his future prom dates.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Missed his last saving throw... 

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, passes away at the age of 69.

I was briefly considered a bad influence on an old childhood friend because I played in junior high school. His parents, as I recall, had issues with the occult imagery. He became a left-wing hippie kind of guy. I became me. So that whole devil thing they were worried about? Pretty much spot-on.

It was a fun game, and I enjoyed playing in college, where you can be a lot less self-conscious about being a geek. A former girlfriend was in the group, and if I could do it all over again, I'd abandon her to a horde of bugbears, but that's really a minor point.

Ace has more.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Maybe that Captain Unilateral guy was onto something... 

Sen. Obama assures voters that reports of him assuaging Canada are incorrect - pledges Canada's concerns about revisiting NAFTA mean nothing next to his promises to you, the undecided Ohio voter.

Of course, when it comes to what-jackass-thought-NAFTA-was-a-good-idea, Hillary Clinton is no slouch either.

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