Crosblog

Two of Michael Vick's co-defendants received tougher sentences than prosecutors recommended. In each case, the U.S. Attorneys office recommended that each defendant be sentenced to the low end of their expected range of sentences. (12-18 months for defendant Purnell Peace, and 18-24 months for defendant Quanis Phillips). Instead, Judge Hudson, who will sentence Vick on December 10, gave Peace 18 months, and gave Phillips 21 months.

Let's see...had dinner with friends, that was good. Watched a boatload of football, also good. Didn't get much shopping done, but we did pick up one thing...



Say hello to our newest family member. He's another Keeshond, born October 1, and since he's a member of a Dutch breed owned by Americans of Italian and Irish descent, obviously he needs a Russian name. (The crazy redhead took Russian in college.) We settled on Smutyan (pronounced SmooTYAHN, at least I think it is), which I am told means "troublemaker." (I studied German in school, which if I used it to name our dogs, would result in something with 13 syllables and three umlauts.)

In any event "troublemaker" is a perfect name for him. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing on planet earth that is cuter than a nine-week old Keeshond puppy.



But there's a secret that people who have new puppies don't tell people who see new puppies and go "AWWWWWWW!" Puppies are jerks. Not intentionally, but still. Should their tiny puppy brains tell them they need food, water, attention, or the opportunity to poop, they are incapable of waiting until a suprisingly close Eagles-Patriots game goes to commercial, for instance.



Here, Smutyan enjoys a wet washcloth that has been placed in the freezer. Behind him somewhere sits $100 or more of scientifically designed dog toys that have been ignored since purchase.

The newcomer's presence has so far, not sat well with our current canine occupants, especially Otchki, whom Smutyan has decided is the single greatest thing ever.



"Seriously, what is that little bitey thing that keeps following me around, and when is it leaving?"

On the one hand, I feel terrible to have upset his world like this, but on the other hand, he's really being a giant drama queen about the whole thing. Part of the problem, I think, is that Otchki doesn't have a violent or aggressive bone in his body, and doesn't really consider the prospect of a forceful response, leaving him with two choices:

1. Bark at the new puppy, which only serves to egg him on, if it has any effect at all, and,
2. Run away, which encourages the puppy to chase him.

Sigh - my dog - the Dennis Kucinich of the animal kingdom.

Koshka's dealt with it a little better, in part because Koshka has several violent bones in her body, and is better equipped to communicate to the new puppy that his life does in fact depend on him leaving her the hell alone. Of course, given her age and reduced reaction time, her carrying out these threats would practically require Smutyan to leap directly into her jaws. Yesterday, I spent an entertaining ten minutes watching him apparently attempt to do just that. She got him once, and he left her alone and moved on to aggravating Otchki.

Note to Democrats running for President - there's a lesson in there someplace.

I know the new dog takes some getting used to - Mishka needed a while to warm up to Koshka, who needed a while to warm up to Otchki, so I'm sure that Otchki will in time accept Smutyan. And given Otchki's gentle nature, I know that Smutyan will actually live long enough for them to learn to get along.

Note to Republicans running for President - there's a lesson in there someplace.

Anyways, there he is, he says hi, and we're thrilled to have him in our family.



Or at least we will be, as soon as we get him housebroken.

Start dating a supermodel.

Did she buy crummy coffee on purpose?

Having seen it tonight, I must say, Dawn Summers is right about I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It's not...what's the word I'm searching for here...good.

To everyone but the people who wrote and directed this movie, Happy Thanksgiving.

I refer to campaign-ad star Willie Horton, whose name crops up every time a governor runs for President and finds his fingerprint on a vicious criminal who takes advantage of this or that loophole in a state criminal justice system to harm someone when they should have been in prison. Arguably we make too much of them, reducing a governor's record to a single instance of poor judgment, yet on the other hand, if issues of crime and punishment matter to you, they can serve as a microcosm of how the candidate views the balance between punishment and rehabilitation, or if you want to be harsh about it, compassion for the criminal vs. compassion for his victim. This occurs, not in the fact that a system allowed a killer a second chance to harm people, but in how the candidate deals with that knowledge afterwards.

First off, I should note that this, at first glance, doesn't look like a Horton issue. In what I've read, there is little to connect Mitt Romney to the case other than his appointment of the judge in question, and as serious a screwup as the judge made, if this is the only time that the phrases "boneheaded decision" and "Romney appointee" can be used in the same sentence, the race for my vote is over and the only question remaining is how much money do I send Romney? (Answer - probably not much, because my wife might feel compelled to donate a similar amount to John Edwards for balance, and I really couldn't live with that on my conscience.)

Mike Huckabee, however, has a Horton question Chuck Norris can't drive away - Wayne Dumond. Some background on Dumond here - and as psychos go, he's a doozy. The basics are Dumond raped a young lady, only to be caught when she recognized him on the street. Dumond, coincidentally, had a history as long as your arm, including sex crimes, and was convicted at trial and sentenced to life in prison. Couple things you need to know - Dumond denied having anything to do with the rape, and, while out on bond, Dumond managed to get castrated. On the castration, Dumond claimed it was friends of a crooked sheriff who did it, it has also been claimed that Dumond was a freaking wackjob who did it to himself. And, finally, a distant relative of the victim went on to some political success, you may have heard of him - Bill Clinton.

The claim nowadays is that Dumond's case became a right-wing cause celebre because of the first and last two facts - Dumond's claim of innocence and the victim's relation to Clinton, who was governor at the time Dumond made a push for clemency. Under this theory - right-wingers developed the idea that Dumond was an innocent victim of the Clinton machine or whatever, who if they didn't frame him for rape, at least cut off his nuts. That being said, a detailed defense of Dumond can be found in the notoriously right-wing Village Voice. I've looked for a write-up about the trial itself, and can't find one, so I can't dispute the central claim that the primary evidence against Dumond was the identification. That forensic evidence existed has been both claimed and denied. Generally, when discussing crime issues, someone who leans left will point out the inherent unreliability in cases based almost exclusively on eyewitness testimony, especially when a witness is called upon to identify someone they're unfamiliar with. Even victims of violent crime, who have no interest in identifying anyone other than the correct perpetratorm, have been known to make this mistake. One would hate to think the lack of skepticism here has anything to do with the fact that this case can be an anchor around the neck of a rising Republican, but in these divided times...

Man, I'm rambling. Fast forward a little bit - Dumond's supporters have two claims - one, his allegedly suspect conviction, and two, the idea that "he's already suffered enough," what with the castration and all. Governor Jim Guy Tucker buys some portion of this, and reduces Dumond's sentence to the point where he would now be eligible for parole.

Now, (finally), enter Mike Huckabee. Huckabee's early statements suggest he was part of the Dumond might be innocent camp, as he announced his intent to free Dumond within a few months of taking office, citing “serious questions as to the legitimacy of his guilt.” Whether Huckabee had legitimate doubts or whether he just got some bad advice or drank the wrong Kool-Aid, he was not prepared for the PR backlash. The victim, Ashley Stevens, went public, demanding Huckabee keep Dumond in prison.

"I told [Huckabee]: If you ever let him out, he's going to do it again," she said in an interview.

She was able to get a meeting with the governor - who, she said, had not spoken to her before announcing his intention to commute Dumond's sentence - but realized Huckabee had "made up his mind." So Stevens stood up, she said, walked over to Huckabee, who was seated on a sofa, squatted down and thrust her face inches from his.

"I said, 'This is how close I was to Dumond's face for an hour,' " Stevens recalled. " 'I'll never forget his face, and you'll never forget mine.' "

Huckabee backed off slightly, and apparently only in public. Here's where it gets squirrelly. (At least, as it relates to Huckabee.) The Arkansas parole board had previously voted twice to keep Dumond in prison, most recently in September of 1996, but had a closed-door meeting with Gov. Huckabee in October about...well, that's kind of an open question. Huckabee claims not to remember everything that went on in the parole board meeting, but was sure he didn't pressure anyone to change their minds. Former parole board members, who depend on the governor for their appointments, claim that Huckabee made it abundantly clear he wanted Dumond released. In January of 1997, they did just that, voting to parole Dumond on the condition he leave the state. Huckabee denied an application for a pardon, which required Dumond to remain on parole and left the conviction on his record, but wrote Dumond a letter that left no doubt where he stood:

“Dear Wayne,” Huckabee wrote in a letter to Dumond. “My desire is that you be released from prison. I feel that parole is the best way for your reintroduction to society to take place.”

It wasn't until 1999 that Dumond actually went free, owing to the problems of finding someone who would take him. He went free in October 1999. Less than one year later, Ashley Stevens prediction came true, and he murdered Carol Sue Shields of Parkville, MO, after sexually assaulting her. Carol Shields was 39. Dumond was also named as a suspect in another Missouri rape and murder, but never charged. Both Missouri crimes bore similarities to his crime in Arkansas, in case anyone still wants to doubt his guilt. Dumond was convicted of Carol Shields murder and sentenced to life in prison, where he died in 2005, while authorities were still building their case for the rape and murder of Sarah Andrasek. Sarah Andrasek was 23, and had just learned that she and her husband were expecting their first child.

Now we get to today, where anyone who wants to piss off Mike Huckabee can do so by suggesting that any of this is his fault. According to him, fault lies first with Jim Guy Tucker for commuting the sentence to the point Dumond was even eligible for parole, then for reasons that can best be described as crack-addled - also naming Bill Clinton, for nominating the parole board members in the first place. Tucker certainly played a role and is fair game should he ever run for President (call that one a longshot), but blaming Clinton for releasing a family member's rapist? I'm willing to believe a fair amount of assholery where Bill Clinton's involved, but I've got to say he doesn't belong on the hook for this one, as he was two governors removed from having any power over the parole board, and, if anything, had been named by Dumond supporters as part of the conspiracy against him. Bill may flip-flop a lot, but that's a bit much.

Huckabee has played his way onto my short list of people I could support for President, but I have a problem with how he's handled this. The short version is, he screwed up, and two women died. Anyone who knew or cared about Carol Shields or Sue Andrasek has every right to hate Mike Huckabee with every fiber of their being, especially given his unwillingness to shoulder any responsibility. The Arkansas Times' excellent reporting makes it clear that Huckabee was instrumental in Dumond's release - left to their own devices, the parole board would likely have let Dumond rot. Huckabee could have acknowledged several things - his support for Dumond was likely based on him listening more to Dumond supporters than he did to Dumond's victim, and he could talk about his renewed committment to listen closer to what victims of crime have to say. He could talk honestly about his doubts about Dumond's guilt, and how his subsequent actions have led him to review issues more carefully before deciding, to prevent him from being misled by people with an agenda. Or he could talk about his desire to show Dumond mercy (the castration thing again), how his Christian faith led him to believe in mercy as a principle, and how he now more fully understands his obligation as a leader to balance mercy with a more reasoned, deeper consideration of whether or not mercy would put the public at risk. Any of these answers might have resonated, or they might not have, but they would have established that Huckabee is not running from his mistake, and the lessons two women died teaching. His preferred choice is the one politicians everywhere choose - blame the previous administration. Ducking responsiblity in the post-Bush era is going to be tempting enough without selecting a President who's already making a habit of it when a bad decision comes back to bite him in the ass.

The Dumond story won't go away - Democrats would love to "reverse Horton" a GOP candidate, and I can even see Republicans bringing it up if Huckabee starts to become a threat. (Particularly Republicans who built a reputation with crime-fighting.) And, if one wants to reduce it to vote counts - you can carve this in stone right now - if Mike Huckabee is the GOP nominee, there is no way in hell the Republicans win Missouri with this story out there.

If you have the ultimate responsibility for a criminal justice system, and you have any tendencies towards mercy or leniency, you're going to have a hand in setting someone free who goes on to do something terrible. It's that simple. You can just not cut anyone a break if you want, (politically speaking, it worked for George Bush), or you can try and pick the right cases. If you do, and you choose wrong, and you're right there to claim responsibility and to show those hurt by your mistake that you have learned something that will prevent others from suffering, while you might lose some support from the "no mercy ever" crowd, I think by and large the public will accept you.

Mike Huckabee's not a bad candidate, all in all. He's passed a fair amount of tests. But this one, he failed big-time, and he fails it over and over every time it comes up.

Which it will keep doing until election day, or until he drops out. Whichever comes first.

In the wrestler-turned-pimp-who-isn't-this-guy trial.

"Hardbody" Harrison Norris was found guilty of trafficking and sexual abuse charges on eight different women. He could face life in prison.

Bush does the traditional pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Up until the moment it happened, you probably could have gotten even money on Bush making the statement - "Who do you think you're dealing with here? Deep-fry that sucker!"

Forget the polls. America's next president is Mike Huckabee.

First he gets Chuck Norris, allowing him to convey the message "Vote for me if you want to live."

And now he has picked up the endorsement of none other than the Nature Boy himself, Ric Flair.

I look forward to a campaign ad where Huckabee promises to "Walk that aisle, and give America a genuine limousine ride, jet flying, kiss stealing, wheeling dealing son of a gun!" Presidency.

After which, of course, Bill Clinton will cut a promo saying "Been there. Done that." And don't get him started on "Space Mountain."

Michael Vick turns himself in prior to his December 10 sentencing.

He's facing 12 to 18 months, and reporting early may well be on what is probably, by now, a pretty short list of things he can do to impress the sentencing judge. For those keeping score, this would put the 2009 season as his earliest possible return date, assuming the NFL allows him back.

The Falcons, while they may be desperate, presumably won't be that desperate, so contact your local NFL GM to make the man an offer.

Detroit named most dangerous city in the U.S.

The story mentions that Detroit has lost almost 1 million people in population since 1950. Basically, half of them are in prison for killing the other half.

5 Comic Book movies that must be stopped.

Discussion over at Dawn Summers' place: Guns 'n Roses - Hair Band, or Not Hair Band?

Personally, I don't know that they were a "Hair Band" per se (Poison, Winger, etc.), but my wife is of the opinion that the Poisons and Warrants of the world can be joined with the GnR's and Aerosmiths in a genre she calls..."F$*k Rock."

And yes, that really is her characterization, not mine. I do like it, though.

Former professional wrestler "Hardbody" Harrison Norris facing trial on multiple counts of human trafficking - specifically, forcing several women into prostitution.

Norris is defending himself, and claims that he was actually training the women to be professional wrestlers.

BTW, Chris Jericho tells a humorous story about Hardbody's booking suggestions while in WCW in his book. Norris had previously joined a lawsuit, since settled, against WCW alleging that minority wrestlers were mistreated. Nobody who followed WCW would dispute that WCW made multiple promotion errors, but I personally never heard anyone say that failing to push Hardbody Harrison was one of them. Apparently, though, he's doing a competent job of defending himself, cross-examining witnesses, objection to prosecution evidence, and presenting his own witnesses.

Matt Damon named Sexiest Man Alive.

If you should happen to hear my wife mention something about "the actual phone call" being "a kid selling magazine subscriptions," or some other such nonsense, pay her no mind.

I understand that NASCAR has a problem appealing to a more cultured audience. The solution...

NASCARGOT.

Paris Hilton turns attention to plight of drunken, rampaging elephants.

And to think we wasted the Nobel Peace Prize on Al Gore. Who, it should be noted, isn't drunk.

Over at Anwyn's, where she addressed this L.A. Times article discussing Fred Thompson's record as an Assistant United States Attorney in his younger days.

The article points out cases where Thompson struggled in front of a frequently exasperated judge, but Anwyn gets more detailed figures (from the author of the story, whose willingness to share is appreciated), which suggest a somewhat different, if less entertaining story of a solid, if unspectacular, beginning to Thompson's career. The belief that it's impossible for a criminal defendant to prevail in federal court nowadays is widespread, but I don't know if that was the case in 1969, when Thompson was working. Prosecuting moonshine defendants in the middle of moonshine country sounds like kind of a hard sell to me - I'd be surprised if a prosecutor who was willing to take on tough cases managed to convict everyone. (Although, for all I know, Rudy Guiliani pulled it off - he began his prosecutorial career about the same time.)

I think what the L.A. Times really wanted to say was that Fred Thompson wasn't as good a prosecutor in real life as he was on T.V. A fair point, I suppose, although if you're going to mention it, you should point out that Real Fred Thompson didn't have Jack McCoy to help him out.

Rams win!!! RAMS WIN!!!

You know, somebody's going to make the NFC playoffs with an 8-8 record. Why not...

Oh, right. The sucking.

Atlanta rounds out the top five most caffeinated cities in the U.S. Chicago tops the list. Detroit was on the list of the least-caffeinated cities, because frankly, if you lived in Detroit, you wouldn't be in any hurry to wake up.

Supreme Court Justice Stevens rejects George Ryan's bid to remain free pending a request for the Supremes to hear his case.

Ryan must report to prison in Oxford, Wisconsin, by 5 p.m. tomorrow, which I guess would make him the Wisconsin State Insect from that point on.

That's right. Not drugs. Not suicide. Not the victim of some dumbass stunt gone horribly awry. Lillian "Fabulous Moolah" Ellison had a legendary career that started in the 1950's, and about three decades of her career was spent as a world champion. She died Friday at age 84, free of scandal and suspicion.

Given wrestling's recent history, it's up in the air which of these two constitutes the greater achievement.

I don't have a candidate for 2008 yet, as my limited attention span makes it impossible for me to actually listen to any of these goobers long enough to form a full impression. I've tried to develop a rough idea about each person running, with plans to explore each candidate more thoroughly by Georgia's primary on February 5. (Although, with everyone trying to get in on the early primary game, for all I know Georgia moved their primary ahead to last Thursday, and nobody but three Ron Paul supporters caught on.)

At the moment, the candidates running are (in alphabetical order):

Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE)
Pros: Years of experience in the Senate concentrating on foreign policy. Has actually tried to develop a comprehensive plan for Iraq.
Cons: Needs to have someone behind him with a cattle prod at all times, as his brain frequently gets disconnected from his mouth.

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)
Pros: If it happened during the Clinton presidency, and you liked it, she was totally a partner in making it happen. If you hated it, she was off doing first lady stuff.
Cons: All of the ethics of Bill Clinton, none of the charm.

Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT)
Pros: Has fairly presidential hair. Not in Romney's league, but still pretty presidential.
Cons: Basically Ted Kennedy without the driving issues.

Former Sen. John Edwards (D-SC)
Pros: Is not, so far as I know, the mind-controlled love slave of Kim Jong-Il.
Cons: Is actually John Edwards.

Mike Gravel (D-AK)
Pros: Ummm...isn't currently under indictment for anything, so far as I know.
Cons: Dennis Kucinich level crazy - sans hot wife.

Former Mayor Rudy Guiliani (R-NY)
Pros: You know the phrase "He may be an asshole, but he's our asshole,"? That's Guiliani's bumper sticker.
Cons: May needlessly fritter away support of Republican base by getting divorced and remarried two or three times during first term.

Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-AR)
Pros: The 2008 voice of compassionate conservatism.
Cons: As formerly plus-size model turned carrot-eating fitness freak, has the potential to be incredibly annoying to those of us who consider "deep-fried" a food group.

Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA)
Pros: I know of no personal or professional scandals involving this man.
Cons: For the exact same reason I know of no personal or professional scandals involving some guy randomly picked out of an Albaquerque phone book.

Alan Keyes (R-MD, or is it IL?)
Pros: Makes Ron Paul look sane and rational.
Cons: Ron Paul isn't sane or rational.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH)
Pros: Smoking hot wife.
Cons: Setting aside political views described by Fidel Castro as "maybe a little too far left," is America really ready to elect a hobbit as President?

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Pros: I voted for him in the 2000 primary. Voting for someone else would be kind of like admitting I was wrong, and we all know that ain't going to happen.
Cons: Thinks "fairness in campaigns" happens when incumbents set the rules under which challengers can point out the stupid stuff they've done.

Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL)
Pros: Just seems like a really swell guy.
Cons: Doesn't, technically speaking, agree with me about anything. Also kind of wooden on SNL.

Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX)
Pros: According to Ron Paul supporters, nation will be sucked into a vortex if this man is not elected president. Not being sucked into a vortex is a good thing.
Cons: President's team will be drawn from his supporters. Have you seen these guys?

Gov. Bill Richardson (D-NM)
Pros: Has served as a diplomat and the chief executive of a state. Arguably the best resume of the field.
Cons: Actually running for vice president. If you vote for him, it might get Clinton mad at him.

Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MS)
Pros: That SelectSmart website swears this is my guy. Also has really presidential hair.
Cons: Tired of cheap polygamy jokes yet? Just wait.

Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO)
Pros: Secure the border and enforce existing immigration laws...
Cons: ...is a good answer to a question about immigration. However, it seems to be his answer to every question, including "Would you like fries with that?"

Former Sen. Fred Thompson (R-TN)
Pros: Wife almost as hot as Kucinich's, and he's a lot less insane.
Cons: Many skeletons in his closet, including roles in "Baby's Day Out" and "Racing Stripes."

Judge who settled child custody question by flipping a coin removed from bench.

He also insisted that a woman seeking a protective order drop her pants and show him the injury her partner caused, then commented on her underwear, and had previously been brought up for encouraging a woman to marry her abusive boyfriend.

No word on when his inevitable syndicated TV show will begin shooting.

Sex and sleep are the keys to healthy aging.

Which means if you're doing anything else right now, you're killing yourself.

Saw Phenomenon for the first time last night. Arguably one of the best things ever seen on reality television was watching judge Criss Angel pick a fight with contestant Jim Callahan.

Everyone did some kind of mind-reading trick, (Mike Super's was the best last night), but apparently Callahan's claims to communicate with the dead pushed Angel's douchebag button, and Angel pulled an envelope out of his pocket and offered Callahan and co-judge Uri Geller $1 million of his own money if either could describe what was in the envelope.

Geller and host Tom Vincent had to break the two up before things got physical.

Criss Angel judges a reality show for two weeks and he's got people trying to pick fights with him. How long has Simon Cowell been on the air.

Angela's going to win, BTW.