Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Cancel the Presidential election...
Once again, America proves that Americans can't be trusted with democracy.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Parental devotion...
A guy celebrates his graduation at a strip club, and later finds out he has somehow managed to run up a $53,000 tab.
His dad is convinced his son is a victim of unscrupulous club employees, and is asking the local sheriff to pursue criminal charges.
Seems to be the traditional parental reaction, for those of us raised in a different time, would be more of a beating-oriented response.
Three cheers for progress.
His dad is convinced his son is a victim of unscrupulous club employees, and is asking the local sheriff to pursue criminal charges.
Seems to be the traditional parental reaction, for those of us raised in a different time, would be more of a beating-oriented response.
Three cheers for progress.
As if his name wasn't enough of a burden...
The politics of personal destruction...
Stephen Colbert begins writing campaign checks his butt won't be able to cash:
"I promise, if elected, I will crush the state of Georgia," the 43-year-old actor-comedian said to the cheering crowd.He also lies about Georgia peaches, insists children dress up like him, and somehow, still manages to come off as more palatable than John Edwards.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
This lock of hair brought to you by capitalism
Lock of hair claimed to be from Che Guevara hitting the auction block. Bidding starts at $100,000.
I wonder if the folks who bought the Rush Limbaugh letter have a few bucks lying around.
I wonder if the folks who bought the Rush Limbaugh letter have a few bucks lying around.
History in the making?
Could the St. Louis Rams go 0-16?
Looking at their schedule, they host a decent Cleveland team this week, and theoretically, the return of Mark Bulger and Steven Jackson should at least give them a shot in games against New Orleans, Atlanta, and Arizona.
The Dolphins have a shot at running the table, too. Two pending games against Buffalo, combined with threats from the '72 Dolphins, seem to be their best shot at a W.
Looking at their schedule, they host a decent Cleveland team this week, and theoretically, the return of Mark Bulger and Steven Jackson should at least give them a shot in games against New Orleans, Atlanta, and Arizona.
The Dolphins have a shot at running the table, too. Two pending games against Buffalo, combined with threats from the '72 Dolphins, seem to be their best shot at a W.
And again...
Illinois State Insect George Ryan loses latest bid to overturn his conviction.
In August, a three judge panel had denied Ryan's appeal, and Ryan sought a review from the full panel, which was denied 6 to 3. The three dissenters attached an opinion to the order denying the petition, which may be read here.
Ryan's attorneys had previously promised to fight the case all the way to the Supreme Court, although at the moment, the standing order requires Ryan to report to prison within four days of the order being posted.
In August, a three judge panel had denied Ryan's appeal, and Ryan sought a review from the full panel, which was denied 6 to 3. The three dissenters attached an opinion to the order denying the petition, which may be read here.
Ryan's attorneys had previously promised to fight the case all the way to the Supreme Court, although at the moment, the standing order requires Ryan to report to prison within four days of the order being posted.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
So that's Vegas...
The crazy redhead had a conference in Las Vegas this past weekend, so I joined her, making my first trip to Sin City. It was the most amazing trip ever.
By which I mean my wife was able to get to the airport on time and board the plane with no chaos, missed flights, or truck keys left where anybody could get them.
She complained about it the whole drive to the airport, but hey, it's a start, right?
It's a fun town. We briefly got separated at the airport, and when I found her, I joked that she wouldn't be far away, because I had the credit cards. Immediately after I said that, another woman called out "Here I am!"
She was kind of cute, too. And I'll bet she gets to the airport on time.
Just saying, is all.
For some reason, we got upgraded to a suite when we checked in at Bally's. Now that, I could get used to, as we spent our first two nights in a room bigger than the first house we lived in. We explored the strip, losing money everywhere we went, except, for whatever reason, at this dump called Bill's, where Maddy won at roulette and I won at blackjack.
Speaking of blackjack, I had never rooted against anyone I ever sat at a blackjack table with. Even if one isn't winning personally, one should be happy to see one's tablemates win, right? Well, that was before I spent a delightful hour in the company of someone I'll dub Mr. Happy Sunshine. Apparently Mr. Happy Sunshine had been on a bit of a bad streak when I joined the table, as while I was there he went off on a rant when I congratulated him on getting a blackjack (apparently he had lost too much to be happy when he won a hand), then after a rookie player made a mistake that cost him a hand, he yelled at the dealer to try and get her to quit explaining what the kid's mistake was, and then after he busted, started cheering when other players busted.
Mr. Happy Sunshine was a nice person.
We then went to Red Rock, which is where the conference is, but I just spent the night there. Justice calls and all that. When I left, the spouse had just discovered the joys of sports wagering. She has decided she's qualified to bet on pro football and horse racing. From a family financial standpoint, the good news is there will be no more NFL games until next Sunday, by which time she will be back in Georgia, where gambling is sinful and immoral.
On the other hand, they have horse racing at all hours. And she did a lot better betting on football.
Come home soon, honey.
By which I mean my wife was able to get to the airport on time and board the plane with no chaos, missed flights, or truck keys left where anybody could get them.
She complained about it the whole drive to the airport, but hey, it's a start, right?
It's a fun town. We briefly got separated at the airport, and when I found her, I joked that she wouldn't be far away, because I had the credit cards. Immediately after I said that, another woman called out "Here I am!"
She was kind of cute, too. And I'll bet she gets to the airport on time.
Just saying, is all.
For some reason, we got upgraded to a suite when we checked in at Bally's. Now that, I could get used to, as we spent our first two nights in a room bigger than the first house we lived in. We explored the strip, losing money everywhere we went, except, for whatever reason, at this dump called Bill's, where Maddy won at roulette and I won at blackjack.
Speaking of blackjack, I had never rooted against anyone I ever sat at a blackjack table with. Even if one isn't winning personally, one should be happy to see one's tablemates win, right? Well, that was before I spent a delightful hour in the company of someone I'll dub Mr. Happy Sunshine. Apparently Mr. Happy Sunshine had been on a bit of a bad streak when I joined the table, as while I was there he went off on a rant when I congratulated him on getting a blackjack (apparently he had lost too much to be happy when he won a hand), then after a rookie player made a mistake that cost him a hand, he yelled at the dealer to try and get her to quit explaining what the kid's mistake was, and then after he busted, started cheering when other players busted.
Mr. Happy Sunshine was a nice person.
We then went to Red Rock, which is where the conference is, but I just spent the night there. Justice calls and all that. When I left, the spouse had just discovered the joys of sports wagering. She has decided she's qualified to bet on pro football and horse racing. From a family financial standpoint, the good news is there will be no more NFL games until next Sunday, by which time she will be back in Georgia, where gambling is sinful and immoral.
On the other hand, they have horse racing at all hours. And she did a lot better betting on football.
Come home soon, honey.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Romance lives...
Pam Anderson's new husband won her in a poker game.
Rumors that Lindsay Lohan is currently available to anyone willing to chance an inside straight draw were unconfirmed at press time.
Rumors that Lindsay Lohan is currently available to anyone willing to chance an inside straight draw were unconfirmed at press time.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Heroes...
By combining comic book fantasy with pro wrestling, the girl in the Burger Bonanza giving the robber the 619 is one of the all-time great geek moments in Western civilization.
Apparently her power is she can do anything she's seen on television. If Dawn Summers had that power, she would be omnipotent.
Apparently her power is she can do anything she's seen on television. If Dawn Summers had that power, she would be omnipotent.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Finally...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The thing is, I'm pretty sure I still kinda suck...
...but we've hit the third break at the Blogger poker thingy, and I'm still here. Down to about 190 out of 1337, and still in the running for a totally awesome duffel bag.
(Yeah, there are other, better prizes, but let's not go overboard here.)
UPDATE - DUFFEL BAG BABY!!!! I will cherish it as though it were a child. A child I actually kind of like.
UPDATE, PART DEUX - Boy, did that not end well. I actually was ranked as high as 7th, and was chip leader at my table when I got pocket Aces. #2 stack starts raising, and calls me when I push him all-in. (He has about 270,000 chips, I have about 320,000). I turn over my aces, he turns over pocket Queens.
Everyone who knows what the first card turned over on the flop was, raise your hands.
Everyone with your hand raised, please go die now.
I then get AK on my next hand, go all-in with what I have left, and get called by a guy with J-9, who of course makes a straight on the river. From top 10 overall to out #70 in two hands. When Lady Luck kicks your ass out of bed, she kicks hard.
Still, 70th is several orders of magnitude better than I probably deserved, and I'm sure the duffel bag will be incredibly super awesome.
And I hope the guy who cracked my Aces has fun playing my X-Box.
(Yeah, there are other, better prizes, but let's not go overboard here.)
UPDATE - DUFFEL BAG BABY!!!! I will cherish it as though it were a child. A child I actually kind of like.
UPDATE, PART DEUX - Boy, did that not end well. I actually was ranked as high as 7th, and was chip leader at my table when I got pocket Aces. #2 stack starts raising, and calls me when I push him all-in. (He has about 270,000 chips, I have about 320,000). I turn over my aces, he turns over pocket Queens.
Everyone who knows what the first card turned over on the flop was, raise your hands.
Everyone with your hand raised, please go die now.
I then get AK on my next hand, go all-in with what I have left, and get called by a guy with J-9, who of course makes a straight on the river. From top 10 overall to out #70 in two hands. When Lady Luck kicks your ass out of bed, she kicks hard.
Still, 70th is several orders of magnitude better than I probably deserved, and I'm sure the duffel bag will be incredibly super awesome.
And I hope the guy who cracked my Aces has fun playing my X-Box.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Justice delayed...
Awhile back, there was discussion of a case where a jury heard from seven women, all strangers to each other, tell incredibly similar tales of being drugged and raped by the same man, only to have a jury brand them as tramps and liars, acquitting the defendant of all but two lesser offenses.
Well, "lesser offense" doesn't necessarily mean minor, as today he was sentenced to 10 to 20 years in prison, the maximum available sentence. He will also be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
Of course, that assumes he ever does get out, as he still has to face a jury in Idaho, where he faces similar charges.
Well, "lesser offense" doesn't necessarily mean minor, as today he was sentenced to 10 to 20 years in prison, the maximum available sentence. He will also be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
Of course, that assumes he ever does get out, as he still has to face a jury in Idaho, where he faces similar charges.
Cannon fodder time again...
I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.
Registration code: 1555287
People who should never be excused from jury duty.
Jury uses holdup note to help convict armed robber.
Get this - they found something everyone else missed.
Get this - they found something everyone else missed.
When the two were stopped after a high-speed chase, police found two partially written notes on the vehicle's center console. One read, "This is a robbery so don't panic because if you do you could put," and stopped in mid-sentence. The other note said, "This."
A notebook on the floorboard contained only blank pages, but when jurors examined it during deliberations they could see indentations of a complete holdup note.
Senior assistant district attorney Lynda Caldwell had been unaware of the indentations. After the conviction, she held the notebook at an angle and could see a note that appeared to read, "This is a stickup. Don't panic or you could put the life of your teller in danger. I won't hesitate to kill. 20's, 50's, 100's. Please! Thank you."
I know it's still early...
...but I'm pretty sure your Line of the Day can be found here.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Sounds about right.
Let's meet this guy half way...
In Zimbabwe, a country so agriculturally screwed up that half its population will need emergency food aid by next year, farmers are actually being prosecuted for growing crops.
The catch - the farmers are white, and Mugabe's government believes that instead of farming, they should be leaving, so the farms can be given to friends of the government in the name of "redistribution."
The situation has gotten so bad that even Mugabe has acknowledged his country is a laughingstock, although he attributes the failure to his hand-picked "farmers" to feed his people to Western sabotage, rather than any other, more obvious causes.
Mugabe will be "re-elected" president next year. Western leaders are planning to give wordy speeches about how bad that is for everyone.
Meanwhile, Zimbabweans are planning to starve.
Tip - Reason.
The catch - the farmers are white, and Mugabe's government believes that instead of farming, they should be leaving, so the farms can be given to friends of the government in the name of "redistribution."
The situation has gotten so bad that even Mugabe has acknowledged his country is a laughingstock, although he attributes the failure to his hand-picked "farmers" to feed his people to Western sabotage, rather than any other, more obvious causes.
Mugabe will be "re-elected" president next year. Western leaders are planning to give wordy speeches about how bad that is for everyone.
Meanwhile, Zimbabweans are planning to starve.
Tip - Reason.
One big case down...
Atlanta's "Mansion Madam", charged with running a house of prostitution out of her expensive home in an exclusive suburb, pled guilty yesterday. Her defense suffered a setback when she was subsequently arrested on felony drug charges and faced the prospect of sitting in jail without bond until her trial.
She hopes to embark on a new career selling real estate. My wife has already advised me that the guy who sold us our current house did a perfectly fine job, and if we have to move, we're using him again.
She hopes to embark on a new career selling real estate. My wife has already advised me that the guy who sold us our current house did a perfectly fine job, and if we have to move, we're using him again.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Gaining traction as a candidate...
Former Mexican presidential candidate disqualified in a marathon.
He appeared to have won the over-55 division, but a tracking chip showed he missed two checkpoints. Also, he apparently covered a 15-kilometer stretch in about 21 minutes, which is really impressive, considering the world record for that distance is 41 minutes.
Upon being advised of the incident - Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo called for building walls along the entire length of every marathon course, with armed guard towers at regular intervals. Christopher Dodd was also reached for comment, but he was too flummoxed by the fact that anyone remembered he was running to answer any questions.
He appeared to have won the over-55 division, but a tracking chip showed he missed two checkpoints. Also, he apparently covered a 15-kilometer stretch in about 21 minutes, which is really impressive, considering the world record for that distance is 41 minutes.
Upon being advised of the incident - Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo called for building walls along the entire length of every marathon course, with armed guard towers at regular intervals. Christopher Dodd was also reached for comment, but he was too flummoxed by the fact that anyone remembered he was running to answer any questions.
That's kind of the point, dear...
That's a lot of television...
Dawn Summers reviews pretty much every show currently on television.
All I could say at this point is I find Chuck to be amusingly brainless entertainment, Dirty Sexy Money has potential, Bionic Woman isn't that good but I don't care, I'm watching it anyway, and while Pushing Daisies is clever, I have a hard time liking the main character because I think it's cruel for him to continue to own a dog that will die if he pets it. (Or, you know, if it jumps in his lap or brushes up against him. Dude, lots of people like dogs. Let one of them take him.)
All I could say at this point is I find Chuck to be amusingly brainless entertainment, Dirty Sexy Money has potential, Bionic Woman isn't that good but I don't care, I'm watching it anyway, and while Pushing Daisies is clever, I have a hard time liking the main character because I think it's cruel for him to continue to own a dog that will die if he pets it. (Or, you know, if it jumps in his lap or brushes up against him. Dude, lots of people like dogs. Let one of them take him.)
Monday, October 08, 2007
Probably not going to make it to a theater near you...
My folks were in town over the weekend, and when they come in, we try to see a movie that isn't likely to make it to Peoria.
This time, it was Randy and the Mob, thus setting a record. Along with "Once", we have now actually seen two independent movies in the same calendar year, and they're both pretty good.
Randy and the Mob was shot around here someplace, and has Shane from "The Shield" in it, playing much less of a bad guy than he plays on "Shield", which is kind of ironic, since his Shield character is a cop and in "Randy and the Mob," well...he doesn't play Randy. (The scene where he teaches a clogging class is funnier if you think of him as Shane.)
Anyway, it's a dialogue-driven comedy that has some really funny moments. It's kind of touring the South at the moment, so the odds of it hitting a theater in your area probably aren't great. If you don't, that's why God made Netflix.
If someone had told 18-year old me that 35-year old me would be talking about a movie like this was a refreshing change of pace from a summer of explosions and car chases, my younger self would have been insisting someone shoot him before he degrading to that point.
Which is one of many reasons not to listen to teenagers.
This time, it was Randy and the Mob, thus setting a record. Along with "Once", we have now actually seen two independent movies in the same calendar year, and they're both pretty good.
Randy and the Mob was shot around here someplace, and has Shane from "The Shield" in it, playing much less of a bad guy than he plays on "Shield", which is kind of ironic, since his Shield character is a cop and in "Randy and the Mob," well...he doesn't play Randy. (The scene where he teaches a clogging class is funnier if you think of him as Shane.)
Anyway, it's a dialogue-driven comedy that has some really funny moments. It's kind of touring the South at the moment, so the odds of it hitting a theater in your area probably aren't great. If you don't, that's why God made Netflix.
If someone had told 18-year old me that 35-year old me would be talking about a movie like this was a refreshing change of pace from a summer of explosions and car chases, my younger self would have been insisting someone shoot him before he degrading to that point.
Which is one of many reasons not to listen to teenagers.
Bad sign in fantasy football...
When Neil Rackers is your leading scorer...you're in trouble.
Friday, October 05, 2007
If you like bad girls...
Accused Mexican "Drug Queen" facing possible drug charges in both Mexico and the U.S. is causing a stir south of the border.
Now, I'm no media expert, but I'm going to guess perhaps this is a bigger story than it might otherwise be because the accused is...shall we say, not unpleasant to look at.
Remember, it's almost impossible to look good in a mug shot.
That sound you hear is Salma Hayek and J-Lo fighting over the movie rights.
Now, I'm no media expert, but I'm going to guess perhaps this is a bigger story than it might otherwise be because the accused is...shall we say, not unpleasant to look at.
Remember, it's almost impossible to look good in a mug shot.
That sound you hear is Salma Hayek and J-Lo fighting over the movie rights.
Maybe it was mad that he used it to play Paris Hilton songs...
Man's iPod catches fire in his pants at Atlanta airport. My favorite part:
Your product blew up in my pants. Please send me another one.
Sincerely,
Are You Out Of Your Damn Mind?!?
Williams said Apple wants him to send his iPod back and they’ve vowed to replace it.Dear Apple:
Your product blew up in my pants. Please send me another one.
Sincerely,
Are You Out Of Your Damn Mind?!?
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Tapping the foot of righteousness in the airport bathroom of justice!
Larry Craig not allowed to withdraw guilty plea.
The Smoking Gun has at least some of the judge's order.
Update - TalkLeft has the whole order. The gist of it is Craig knew what he was doing and was well aware of his rights, and the record as it stands is clear enough to show that his plea was knowing, voluntary, and intelligent.
The Smoking Gun has at least some of the judge's order.
Update - TalkLeft has the whole order. The gist of it is Craig knew what he was doing and was well aware of his rights, and the record as it stands is clear enough to show that his plea was knowing, voluntary, and intelligent.
Totally didn't see that coming...
UN Secretary General says UN's efforts to get Burmese junta to quit killing monks and other protesters has failed.
Also worth reading is Armed Liberal's post on the subject.
Also worth reading is Armed Liberal's post on the subject.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
This isn't complicated people...
Those little portable memory sticks for computers? If you're going to get one, go ahead and get two, so you can keep your naked pictures separate from your high school civics presentations.
And if someone gives you one of these things, maybe just take a quick look to see if there's anything already on it. This is especially true if you're a state legislator.
Just saying, is all.
And if someone gives you one of these things, maybe just take a quick look to see if there's anything already on it. This is especially true if you're a state legislator.
What flashed onto the screen was not a PowerPoint presentation about state government, but an ''inappropriate picture of a female,'' Barrett said.Note to the teacher who yelled at me for sleeping in class during one of his lectures many years ago - that's probably not going to be a problem in this situation from here on out.
''It took me probably a second or so to look at it and say, 'That's not the Power Point,''' Barrett said, adding that the image was off the screen within seconds.
Just saying, is all.
