Crosblog

The usual picture of a shoplifter is a guy who takes something from a store, hides it on his person, and tries to leave. But, when the merchandise being stolen is too big to conceal, the plan often changes, and the thief will switch the price tags with a much cheaper item, and hope the cashier doesn't notice.

If you're changing the price on a $984 plasma TV to $4.88, they're going to notice.

Remember the great hue and cry that came when it was learned that Hamas was using a Mickey Mouse knockoff to inspire Palestinian children towards Islamic radicalism?

OK, first off, the character is gone.

The...shall we say, less than optimal news? The mouse was beaten to death by an actor playing an Israeli official seeking to obtain the mouse's land.

I understand the replacement is going to be a mash-up of Dora the Explorer and Hostel: Part II.

Golf course stages golf outing with "lap dance stations" along the course, among other things.

And to think I gave up playing golf for silly reasons like I didn't enjoy playing it and I wasn't any good at it.

Tip - Steve Silver.

The Chris Benoit story du jour is that Benoit's Wikipedia entry had been modified to include Nancy Benoit's death several hours before authorities discovered their bodies.

A person claiming to be the idiot who updated the entry has posted an apology on Wikipedia. According to him, when Benoit missed his bookings last weekend, rumors began floating that his absence was due to a personal emergency of some kind. And, if I recall correctly, the WWE floated "personal reasons" as the official explanation Benoit missed his match at the Judgment Day PPV Sunday. According to this moron, somebody posted speculation that Nancy had died, and he went ahead and added it to the entry, and was just as stunned as everyone else when that turned out to be correct.

He wishes to remain anonymous, to "keep me and my family out of this since they have nothing to do with anything." Good luck with that, but I'm going to guess that investigators will want to have a word with this guy, and the only question is whether he calls them or they call him.

Bob has another good post on the subject.

Fox has a retrospective on Nancy's career in wrestling, including this picture:



When I saw that picture, my first thought was "everyone knew that was Ron Simmons on the left, right?" I don't remember if fans knew who Doom were before they unmasked or not.

Tip on the Wikipedia thing to Inside Pulse.

The post previous to this one originally had a photo of Chris Benoit in happier times for both himself and his fans, celebrating his 2004 world title victory with Eddie Guerrero. I took the picture down, because to me it's unseemly to appear to pay tribute now that Fayette County investigators have concluded that Chris Benoit was not a victim of the horror that befell his family.

He was its architect.

According to authorities on Friday night, Benoit strangled his wife Nancy, and sometime later did the same to their son, Daniel. Why he murdered his wife and son isn't known at this point, and may not be, as Benoit left no suicide note, and those who know him have no explanation. Drugs may have played a role - to keep wrestling, Benoit went under the knife a great deal, and may have needed medication to keep going, medication that if not used properly, may have left him depressed or unbalanced.

Benoit's career was in its twilight, but wrestling insiders believed Benoit had found peace with that, and was planning to use his last few years to serve as mentor to younger wrestlers, working with them in programs that would improve them as wrestlers and elevate their status with fans, such as he did with Montel Vontavious Porter the past few months. Could the impending end of the only life he'd known have been a factor? Again - no note, so who knows.

There actually were warning signs - Nancy Benoit had previously filed for divorce, and asked a judge for an order of protection. Three months later, she asked a judge to dismiss the divorce petition and protective order. Somehow, Benoit managed to persuade his wife to stay with him. She told a judge she was afraid of him, and somehow, he convinced her she shouldn't be. She was right the first time.

While some of these factors may be considered mitigating, Benoit almost certainly would have known what he was doing. The murder of his wife and son took place over two days. Investigators have revealed that Nancy was bound before being killed, and the fact that Benoit took his own life suggests an awareness of the wrongness of his actions. This press statement by the WWE is designed primarily to preempt any effort to blame them for Benoit's mental or physical condition, but as callous as this is, they are right to say that Benoit's actions are his own.

All the wrestling sites are writing retrospectives of Chris Benoit's career, his best matches, etc. Personally, I couldn't care less at this point. Nancy Benoit had her own career in wrestling, if one wants to remember. As "Woman", she first made her mark as the manager of then-demonic Kevin Sullivan, who stirred up controversy as a wrestling variant on the Manson family. She ultimately served in a more conventional wrestling managerial role as the manager of the tag team Doom. From there, she made a huge mark in ECW, where the image of the glamorous Woman standing beside the gruff Sandman became one of ECW's most enduring and iconic images. After joining her then-husband Kevin Sullivan in WCW, she joined Miss Elizabeth as the two "devilish women" who escorted Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen, seguing into the angle that became reality, when her character was paired up with Chris Benoit, leading to the two becoming an off-screen couple as Benoit's feud with Sullivan heated up. She stopped appearing on TV after the Benoit-Sullivan feud ended, and married Benoit shortly after giving birth to their son Daniel in 2000.



Nancy Benoit was 43. She was a mother, a wife, and a wrestling personality.

Daniel Benoit was 7. He was a little boy who should have gotten to grow up.

Chris Benoit is the man who killed them.

Thoughts by other wrestling fans -

Kicking Air

Raton Range

Crimson Joe.

Pro wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife, Nancy, and their seven year old son Daniel were found dead this afternoon in their Fayetteville, GA home.

This post will likely be updated regularly as police continue to investigate.

According to Elizabeth Edwards - most of the time John Edwards is opposed to discrimination.

The rest of the time, he's Southern.

This of course makes sense - it's not widely known, but the real reason behind Mitt Romney's apparent reversal of his previous support for gay rights can actually be traced to an unusally long layover while changing planes in Birmingham.

Barack Obama - ditto. Gotta watch out how much time you spend down here.

Italian man accused of murder has heart attack and dies on the stand while testifying.

The right to remain silent. It could save your life, in more ways than you might realize.

Moron who sues dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants shot down hard.

And I mean Shot. Down. Hard. Because this guy almost certainly won't be able to take a hint, and will probably appeal, the judge went ahead and wrote a 23-page ruling explaining in great detail why he lost, and has awarded court costs, and appears likely to order the plaintiff to pay the dry cleaner's legal fees once that issue is briefed.

How much do you think the fine should be for, say speeding about 20 mph over the speed limit? $50? $100? $200? "What the hell kinda pinko concept is a 'speed limit?'" - How is the weather in Montana this time of year, anyway?

How about a $200 fine from the judge, then a $1,050 "civil remedial fee" from the state? That's Virginia's plan to raise the money to pay for their transportation bill, and because they're selling this as part of state licensing fees rather than criminal penalties, the rest of us can drive through Virginia like maniacs and just pay the ticket without the fee.

From reading the article - people who actually work in traffic courts who have just found themselves drafted into applying this law apparently were not consulted in advance, and are expecting chaos, from people ticked off to learn their guilty plea to a speeding ticket is going to cost them five times what they expected, to an avalanche of trials taking place due to people who actually want to pay their tickets, but can't afford the fees, to judges suspending the fines they actually have the jurisdiction to impose to offset the total penalty to poorer defendants (which would result in the counties losing money to the benefit of the state, since fine money goes to the county where the violation occurred, while this civil fee would go to the state.)

I suspect that local traffic courts will find ways around the law to avoid applying it as much as the legislature hopes. What you'll see is this - a defendant will come in with a ticket that triggers the penalty, and unless the defendant is clearly a menace on the roads, the charge will just be amended by the judge or prosecutor to one of the lesser charges that doesn't trigger the fine. And word will then get out that there are ways around the "civil remedial fee" in most Virginia courts, which will deprive them of any deterrent power they may have, which means they won't really make the streets any safer.

If you're going to screw with traffic laws, maybe you should talk to the people who actually apply them and deal with them day in and day out. Could be there are problems out there that could actually be addressed with a new bill or two.

Just saying, is all.

Tip - Corner

Missouri man charged with driving without a license goes to the court clerk's house and offers her some Bud Select to lose his file, thus trading the misdemeanor of driving while unlicensed for bribery - a felony for which he could face four years in prison. And, actually, it isn't a trade, really, he's still got his license charge to deal with.

And somewhere out there, another beer company is wondering whether they could offer her an endorsement deal to say "You know, if they had offered me a Coors (or whatever), I'd have taken it."

Judge in Nebraska bars victim in sexual assault case from describing what she went through as "rape" or "sexual assault."

Apparently there's a law in Nebraska that bars terms that present the danger of "unfair prejudice, confusion of the issues or misleading the jury."

And here it is:

Although relevant, evidence may be excluded if its probative value is substantially outweighed by the danger of unfair prejudice, confusion of the issues, or misleading the jury, or by considerations of undue delay, waste of time, or needless presentation of cumulative evidence.

As the articles note - one thing that confuses the issues is forcing a woman who believes she's been raped to describe the experience as "sex", or "intercourse," especially if the jury is not to be told that it wasn't the victim's idea to use those terms.

Knee-jerk legal analysis of the day - this has pretty much nothing to do with a defendant's right to a fair trial, and pretty much everything to do with a defense lawyer attempting to take a victim's words away and substitute his own. It's hard enough for rape victims to come forward without them having to use language chosen for them by the defendants.

It also bears noting that nobody supporting this ruling has cited any actual evidence that the word "rape" by itself persuades juries to render incorrect verdicts.

Tip - Feministe.

That's right, it's the man who makes former Texas Chief Exec G. Dub look like Stephen Hawking, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who is making the taxpayers fly him from Chicago to Springfield and back every day the legislature is in session, even though the state of Illinois once actually went ahead and built a big-ass mansion for the governor, since, you know, no sane person would actually stay in Springfield.

Except for Homer, of course. Which makes Homer smarter than the governor of Illinois.

Reject the claims of seven different women, none of whom know each other, who all told similar stories about being drugged and raped by the same man, who is ultimately acquitted on 33 of 35 counts against him.

Theories as to why this happened are being discussed here.

Applebee's gives a toddler a margarita in a sippy cup.

Actually, the sippy cup thing isn't a bad idea for adults. Drunk customers tend to spill things.

You're a student. Your grades suck. In fact, when report cards come out, you may find yourself having to repeat the school year. How do you deal with this problem?

Why, obviously, you have your friends stage a robbery and try to steal the report cards.

Can't imagine how this guy's grades slipped.

Note to the people behind Spider-Man 3: Sometimes less is more.

The wife and I just saw Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and while it's hardly a great movie, it does have the advantage of actually fitting within its run time. It has just the one plot (Silver Surfer shows up - sets destruction of earth in motion) and everything else just kind of works in and around that. Contrast that to SP3, which was something like 3 or 4 movies stuffed into one 2 1/2 hour cinematic burrito. It doesn't taste bad, per se, but you really aren't focusing on how it tastes when you can't take a bite without dripping supporting characters and subplots all over your shirt, if you follow me.

Fantastic Four is fine, if you don't mind that Galactus isn't the big purple dude with the things on his head. The Surfer is a cool effect, and everyone is well cast. (Well, Jessica Alba doesn't look anything like the Sue Storm of the comics, but you almost certainly won't mind that.)

And since they've already used the only two F4 villains anyone cares about (Dr. Doom and Galactus/Silver Surfer), there wasn't any rush to cram the movie full of every comic book ever written about these guys, which makes it an easy watch.

Although they do still have Namor out there, if someone really wanted to do another one...

NFL rookie to miss practice due to taking a paintball to the groin.

Author Salman Rushdie was knighted by the Queen of England on Saturday.

This, apparently, has pissed off Iran, as they consider Rushdie an "apostate," which is apparently worse than what I consider him, which is that guy who writes really boring, pretentious novels. So I while I don't think his literary talents merit giving him the Order of The Cheeseburger and Large Fries, let alone a British Knighthood, there was that other situation that makes him unique.

What Iran should note is several years ago, Salman Rushdie wrote a book that really pissed off a bunch of assholes, who very loudly, very publicly, and very credibly threatened Rushdie's life. Though forced into hiding, Rushdie handled the whole affair with courage and grace, and generally behaved like the sort of guy who deserves to be knighted. While Rushdie's writing may have put him in the running (although, for the life of me, I can't think why), it was his response to the threatening assholes that almost certainly put him over the top.

So if the Iranian government wishes to take issue with Rushdie's knighthood, they should totally track down the guys who threatened him and beat the crap out of them.

It won't get Rushdie un-knighted, but it will do the world a great service.

Apparently the new memorial to victims of communism isn't sitting too well with some people.

You know, communists.

Go fig.

Canadian judge orders man convicted of domestic violence not to have any romantic relationships for three years.

That's right - he's been sentenced to not have a girlfriend. In order to make sure the judge's order is carried out - the defendant also has the following conditions of probation:

1. Sign up for World of Warcraft.

2. Start collecting action figures.

3. Post lengthy screed on internet objecting to John Cena's position as a WWE headliner.

4. Start up blog. Claim he needs to post pictures of attractive, scantily clad women to clarify his points.

Couldn't find a link for that last one.

Angelina Jolie Made Me Throw Up.

She does kind of overdo it a little, sometimes.

So, apparently Iran is going to make the production of pornography punishable by death. Whether or not there will be leniency for producers of really good porn, I don't know. (After all, "artistic merit" is a defense to a charge of obscenity.)

The real danger is, this is Iran. And I'm thinking, in regards to their definition of porn, Iran is going to be kind of like Saudi Arabia and other places. (Previously discussed here - complete with visual aid.) My concern would be that Iran would be inclined to condemn far more wholesome images than what are traditionally considered explicit, such as this wholesome photograph of former WWE champion Trish Stratus.



I think we can all agree that my point would have been much less clear without the picture.

Regarding Iran's potential to define "porn" somewhat loosely, I think the person who really needs to be afraid is former Iranian President Mohammed Khatami, who can be seen here actually shaking hands with women, a video that has outraged Iran's hardliners.

In the interest of exploring all sides, it should be noted that Khatami's office has suggested the picture is doctored, in which case Khatami would not be a producer of pornography, only an unknowing star. As to who could have committed such a dastardly forgery, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess something that rhymes with "Lionists."

Thank you to everyone who had a kind word or thought for us after losing Mishka. It really does help.

Having missed chances to blog about stuff - this is a good time for one of those "Good posts by other people" things:

Crimson Joe reviews an old Bill Cosby concert: Bill Cosby was the man. Anyone can get a few chuckles working blue. Bill could bust you up and not get anywhere near that line.

Right Moment asks the important questions so you don't have to.

Did you know there was an organization opposed to spelling things correctly? Neither did I.

Ace and Teeth weighed in on the whole immigration kerfluffle. I was probably opposed to the bill in the form it was taking at the time, but I didn't pay anywhere near enough attention to the debate other than to note that Saxby Chambliss was a key target for both sides, which meant I missed a chance for more name puns.

Dawn Summers on how tough a cop's job is.

PetitDov on the kind of road signs we need here in Atlanta.

Bob reviews the director's cut of Superman II - a movie that should still make any decent list of top superhero movies, which should tell you how much Sam Raimi & Company phoned in Spider-Man 3.

And Joe-6-Pack on the UN putting Zimbabwe in charge of a committee on sustainable development. This surprises me not so much.

...the first day you pick up your dog. When you're finalizing arrangements with the nice farm family to adopt the squirming ball of fur you hold in your hands, nobody discusses the day that's going to come some years down the road. But make no mistake, it's part of the deal. When you adopt a dog, you promise to take care of him, with all that implies. At the time, you're imagining teaching him to sit and shake hands, and picturing the joy you'll have being together. You understand there are responsibilities, of course - you're already planning his first trip to the vet. But when you promise to adopt a dog, you're not only committing to that first trip to the vet, you're committing to that last one - the one that comes when he gets sick and isn't going to get better, when the only thing that will stop him from hurting is you telling his vet that it's time to say goodbye.


Mishka and Maddy - doing one of their favorite things together - nothing.

For thirteen years, we were blessed to share our lives with a truly extraordinary dog. He grew up friendly and gregarious, and he learned to sit, shake hands, wave, and, believe it or not, impersonate Tim Allen. (He learned to mimic Allen's "Aw-roo?" catchphrase in response to Maddy or I saying "I don't think so, Tim.") He guarded us and kept us safe. A few years ago, I came home one night to find police cars and nervous neighbors milling about, and was told that there was a rash of attempted break-ins in the neighborhood. The houses around me all bore marks on the back doors from where the burglars attempted to force their way in, but at my house, where Mishka's deep bass bark let any who approached know this house was protected - no sign of attempted entry.

His contribution to our security was appreciated, but that wasn't where he really left his mark. Keeshonden are natural clowns, and Mishka set the bar high. He loved to be chased (even when not convenient), and he once played a trick on me we still laugh about. I let him outside during a rainstorm, and he snuck back in without me noticing. Not seeing him in the backyard, I got worried and went out to look for him, getting drenched in the process. Coming back in, I had no idea where he was and prepared to go out again. As I sat on the floor by the bed, I looked over to where the blankets concealed the area under the bed. Soaked to the skin, I lifted up the blanket.

Non-dog people often accuse dog people of overstating their animals' intelligence. I understand the concern, but I saw the look on his face, and I am certain of two things. 1.) He knew he'd just gotten me, and 2.) He thought it was hilarious. Once I dried off, I had to admit, he was right.


I got him back, though. Right?

He never met a stranger, and if you let him, he'd make you his friend. If you wanted to run around the yard or wrestle, he was up for it, but he was also more than happy to sit on the couch and watch TV. He preferred animal programs, especially animals that looked and sounded more or less like dogs, at least from his perspective. (His favorite show was a PBS special on polar bears.)


"See, from PBS I learned this thing isn't actually a dog."

He was also the best counselor I've ever known. I never reached a level of self-pity or doubt that couldn't be fixed with a gentle nudge from his oversized, furry head. The dog owner's prayer is a short one - "Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am," but it's a powerful one. He would let you know how much he loved and trusted you, and somehow, some way, you would find a way to be worthy of him.

Unfortunately, one way to be worthy of him was to be there to recognize his pain, and tell the vet it was time to end it. There's no doubt it was the right thing to do - with the help of his wonderful vet, he fought hard against a host of problems, but he was just too sick and too tired. He was ready to rest, and even though we weren't ready to let him, we loved him too much not give him peace. And as much as the giant hole in our hearts still hurts, we take comfort in knowing where he is now, that he is once again strong and whole, and we give thanks for every day we had with him.



It's hard now, but we try to remember all the good times - the roughhousing he insisted on in stronger days after I got home from work, the boy in Petsmart who called him a wolf, the time he got into a contest with my then four year old nephew over who could sit, lay down, and roll over the best. (Mishka won, but in my nephew's defense - he was only four.) And, of course, let's not forget his valorious service during the Georgia Squirrel Revival. That's the last challenge to be worthy of your dog - to remember his life, and not his death. We'll do our best - the stories of his life are too good not to remember.

He was our security blanket, our watchman, our counselor, and our friend. It's a lot of roles to assume, but Mishka was more than up to every single one of them.

It was easy. He was one of the greatest gifts God ever gave mankind. He was a dog.

Maddy's Mishka Bear, aka "Mishka"
April 30, 1994 - June 4, 2007
My first dog.

Rest easy, big guy. You done good.

Illinois State Insect George Ryan denied his pension.

Apparently the argument that he was corrupt only some of the time he served as an elected official was unpersuasive.

Fancy that.

A photo of a U.S. soldier teaching an Iraqi soldier how to do the Macarena.