Friday, April 27, 2007
And the verdict is..
Mayor of Jackson acquitted on all counts.
During the trial - mentioned here, Mayor Frank Melton's defense team acknowledged doing thousands of dollars worth of damage to a house, but claimed it was in response to claims the house was used to run drugs.
Plenty of Jackson citizens actually supported Melton's quest, but in addition to his acquittal, he got a lecture from the judge about the proper way to go about tearing down a drug house, as well as a statement from the ACLU expressing dismay at a jury finding reasonable doubt in a criminal case.
Not something you see everyday, is all I'm saying there.
During the trial - mentioned here, Mayor Frank Melton's defense team acknowledged doing thousands of dollars worth of damage to a house, but claimed it was in response to claims the house was used to run drugs.
Plenty of Jackson citizens actually supported Melton's quest, but in addition to his acquittal, he got a lecture from the judge about the proper way to go about tearing down a drug house, as well as a statement from the ACLU expressing dismay at a jury finding reasonable doubt in a criminal case.
Not something you see everyday, is all I'm saying there.
Montoya Award candidate...
I'm not saying they get one. I'm just saying they might.
According to this BBC story - the Saudi religious police have claimed that of the files saved in memory cards of seized cell phones - almost 70% of the images are pornographic.
Now, I suppose it's possible. The phones in question were taken from men arrested for harassing young women. But remember, this is Saudi Arabia we're talking about. Their definition of "pornographic" may be somewhat different from the one that just popped into your head as you read this.
Take, for instance, this picture of Jessica Alba:

This is a publicity shot for the movie "Into the Blue," and by looking at this picture, you've pretty much covered every possible reason to see the movie. (Decent waste of time from a Netflix standpoint, but I digress.)
How does a shot of Jessica Alba in a bikini relate to this story, you may ask? My response: Does it matter? But in any event, on the off chance that it does, my point is, do you think the Saudi definition of "pornographic" would encompass the above picture, which was used elsewhere in magazines and posters to promote a PG-13 movie?
To have 70% of your saved files be porn is a lot. I doubt Charlie Sheen has that. I'm just saying, regarding the Saudi definition of "pornographic," that word may not mean to them what it means to us.
Tip - LGF.
According to this BBC story - the Saudi religious police have claimed that of the files saved in memory cards of seized cell phones - almost 70% of the images are pornographic.
Now, I suppose it's possible. The phones in question were taken from men arrested for harassing young women. But remember, this is Saudi Arabia we're talking about. Their definition of "pornographic" may be somewhat different from the one that just popped into your head as you read this.
Take, for instance, this picture of Jessica Alba:

This is a publicity shot for the movie "Into the Blue," and by looking at this picture, you've pretty much covered every possible reason to see the movie. (Decent waste of time from a Netflix standpoint, but I digress.)
How does a shot of Jessica Alba in a bikini relate to this story, you may ask? My response: Does it matter? But in any event, on the off chance that it does, my point is, do you think the Saudi definition of "pornographic" would encompass the above picture, which was used elsewhere in magazines and posters to promote a PG-13 movie?
To have 70% of your saved files be porn is a lot. I doubt Charlie Sheen has that. I'm just saying, regarding the Saudi definition of "pornographic," that word may not mean to them what it means to us.
Tip - LGF.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Lama update
Awhile back, I posted about China "disappearing" a young boy and his parents, because the Dalai Lama had identified him as the reincarnation of the Panchen Lama, the second-highest figure in Tibetan Buddhism. China brought out its own "Panchen Lama", and the Dalai Lama's choice, Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, has never been seen since, although China assures us he's fine and doesn't want to see or talk to anyone and isn't any kind of lama, because really, when it comes to Tibetan Buddhism, who you gonna believe, a bunch of Chinese atheists in Beijing or the Dalai Lama?
Anyway, the Independent has a story on Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, as well as the boy hand-picked by China to replace him. The "Panchen Lama" recently made an appearance at a Chinese-sponsored "World Buddhist Forum", where he said:
The article serves as a reminder of why China pulled this stunt in the first place - when the Dalai Lama dies, the Panchen Lama will be tasked with identifying his successor. Should the "Panchen Lama" be the one to do the identifying, China can look forward to "loyalty towards the state" becoming a key tenet of Tibetan Buddhism, and if they're really lucky, the end of any Tibetan independence or identity movement.
This isn't unique to Buddhists, of course, China also has their own branch of the Catholic Church, because the regular one doesn't make supporting the state part of the Eucharist.
Just an interesting point as we move towards the 2008 Olympics.
Anyway, the Independent has a story on Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, as well as the boy hand-picked by China to replace him. The "Panchen Lama" recently made an appearance at a Chinese-sponsored "World Buddhist Forum", where he said:
"Defending the nation and working for the people is a solemn commitment Buddhism has made to the nation and society," this child of the Party told the gathering.I make absolutely no claims to being any kind of expert on Buddhist philosophy, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say defending an brutal autocracy's monopoly on power isn't a step towards Enlightenment.
The article serves as a reminder of why China pulled this stunt in the first place - when the Dalai Lama dies, the Panchen Lama will be tasked with identifying his successor. Should the "Panchen Lama" be the one to do the identifying, China can look forward to "loyalty towards the state" becoming a key tenet of Tibetan Buddhism, and if they're really lucky, the end of any Tibetan independence or identity movement.
This isn't unique to Buddhists, of course, China also has their own branch of the Catholic Church, because the regular one doesn't make supporting the state part of the Eucharist.
Just an interesting point as we move towards the 2008 Olympics.
NFL Draft preview...
...would be too much work, so I'll just link to Bob's, which has proven accurate in years past.
I agree about the Raiders taking Calvin Johnson with the #1 pick. They're desperate for a QB, and by incredible coincidence, two excellent QB prospects are on the board this year. But when you also consider that Al Davis has been out of his damn mind for several years now, you have to conclude that he will take the best athlete available, even though the best WR in the world can't do much for you if you have no quarterback.
I only have two other predictions - The Rams will (hopefully) be able to snag Amobi Okoye from Louisville. The majority of mock drafts don't have Okoye sticking around long enough, but most of those drafts assume the Raiders will do the sensible thing and take Russell or Quinn. When they don't, chaos will ensue, and the Rams will find the defensive help they've needed...oh, pretty much since they moved to St. Louis.
As for the local boys, the Falcons covet LaRon Landry. They won't get him. (I'm guessing Washington takes him). The Falcons need to replace Patrick Kerney on the defensive line - I'm guessing Gaines Adams is who they'll end up with.
I agree about the Raiders taking Calvin Johnson with the #1 pick. They're desperate for a QB, and by incredible coincidence, two excellent QB prospects are on the board this year. But when you also consider that Al Davis has been out of his damn mind for several years now, you have to conclude that he will take the best athlete available, even though the best WR in the world can't do much for you if you have no quarterback.
I only have two other predictions - The Rams will (hopefully) be able to snag Amobi Okoye from Louisville. The majority of mock drafts don't have Okoye sticking around long enough, but most of those drafts assume the Raiders will do the sensible thing and take Russell or Quinn. When they don't, chaos will ensue, and the Rams will find the defensive help they've needed...oh, pretty much since they moved to St. Louis.
As for the local boys, the Falcons covet LaRon Landry. They won't get him. (I'm guessing Washington takes him). The Falcons need to replace Patrick Kerney on the defensive line - I'm guessing Gaines Adams is who they'll end up with.
It's official. I don't understand France.
Nick Sarkozy - having "relationship issues on the campaign trail" -
The couple's relationship has been in the spotlight before. The pair, who have a young son, separated briefly last year after she had an affair with an advertising executive while Sarkozy dated a journalist.Karol is not terribly sympathetic:
Sarkozy couldn't be that shocked by her affair, though. They met at her wedding to another man. Sarkozy was officiating. I mean, have you ever heard of such a thing?!Fun part? This guy's the conservative.
While you're at it, charge him with making "Shall We Dance"
Citizen in India files a complaint on Richard Gere for kissing Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty - Judge issues arrest warrant.
And apparently, Shetty is in trouble as well:
And apparently, Shetty is in trouble as well:
The judge lambasted Shetty for not resisting Gere's kisses and ordered her to appear in his court May 5, PTI said. A spokesman for Shetty declined comment.Apparently, she's being charged with not kicking Richard Gere in the junk. I understand the sentiment, but I'm not seeing the crime.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Rudy Guiliani wishes he was this tough on crime
When Frank Melton was elected mayor of Jackson, MS, he promised to crack down on crime.
He wasn't even a little bit kidding about that. Melton is currently standing trial for personally going to a suspected crack house with police bodyguards and tearing the place down with sledgehammers. Melton's defense included testimony about previous drug raids at the house, and included the support of a city councilman.

One drug house - Meltoned down.
(I'm not proud of that one.)
The defense is that Melton lacked the "malice" necessary to convict him on charges of malicious mischief. (His other charges are conspiracy and directing a minor to commit a felony. Malicious mischief is defined as follows:
The jury gets the case Thursday. I'm betting Samuel L. Jackson has the role of Frank Melton in the movie by next Tuesday.
He wasn't even a little bit kidding about that. Melton is currently standing trial for personally going to a suspected crack house with police bodyguards and tearing the place down with sledgehammers. Melton's defense included testimony about previous drug raids at the house, and included the support of a city councilman.
One drug house - Meltoned down.
(I'm not proud of that one.)
The defense is that Melton lacked the "malice" necessary to convict him on charges of malicious mischief. (His other charges are conspiracy and directing a minor to commit a felony. Malicious mischief is defined as follows:
Every person who shall maliciously or mischievously destroy, disfigure, or injure, or cause to be destroyed, disfigured, or injured, any property of another, either real or personal, shall be guilty of malicious mischief. § 97-17-67I don't know if Mississippi has its own unique definition of malice - but this definition:
a criminal act like assault or murder, with the intention of doing harm to the victimThst seems to pretty much describe what Mayor Melton did and why he did it. That his victims may have been drug dealers is, well, kind of why we have things like cops and warrants and stuff.
The jury gets the case Thursday. I'm betting Samuel L. Jackson has the role of Frank Melton in the movie by next Tuesday.
Emotional roller coaster...
First the bad news - that 14 year old girl you thought you were chatting with online? She's not really a 14-year old girl.
Now the good news - She's actually Miss America.
And now the really bad news - she's working with the cops (remember thinking she was only 14?) and you're getting arrested.
Now the good news - She's actually Miss America.
And now the really bad news - she's working with the cops (remember thinking she was only 14?) and you're getting arrested.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sleep soundly in your beds, my friends ...
For your duly appointed law enforcement officials are hard at work, keeping the bad guys locked up, where they can do no harm.
OK, except for this one guy, who got released because somebody faxed the jail from a grocery store claiming the state Supreme Court demanded his release, complete with bad grammar and misspellings.
They missed the fax number thing because prison officials didn't routinely check the source of fax documents - an oversight I'm sure they will now rectify. But the bad spelling and grammar? Didn't that send up a red flag?
OK, except for this one guy, who got released because somebody faxed the jail from a grocery store claiming the state Supreme Court demanded his release, complete with bad grammar and misspellings.
They missed the fax number thing because prison officials didn't routinely check the source of fax documents - an oversight I'm sure they will now rectify. But the bad spelling and grammar? Didn't that send up a red flag?
“It’s not part of a routine check, but certainly, in hindsight, that would perhaps have caused somebody to ask a question,” he said. He added that misspellings on orders are common.Sleep soundly, my friends. Sleep soundly.
Bother me not from 9-10 p.m. tonight...
I believe we've been promised a death. I'll guess it's the Haitian, leaving Claire dangerously unprotected for the run-up to the season finale.
Tip - Dawn Summers.
Boris Yeltsin
Russia's first post-communist leader passed away today. He was 76.
Yeltsin factors in one of the bigger "Where were you when..." moments I recall. By 1991, the Berlin Wall had opened up, Eastern European nations were starting to decide their own fate, Mikhail Gorbachev was letting them, and Soviet hardliners finally made it clear they didn't like any of this one little bit. Gorbachev was locked away, Soviet TV was announcing a return to the old way of doing business, I remember watching the news in our dorm lounge thinking all the good news of the last couple of years was being undone.
Funny thing happened on the way back to tyranny, however. Russians stood up and said no, protesting against their regime and living to tell the tell for the first time in...well, longer than I could remember, at least. Out front where everyone could see and hear him, was Boris Yeltsin.
The soldiers who would normally have been going Tiananmen Square on the Russian protestors sided with Yeltsin, and the coup died an ignomious death.
Yeltsin took his own turn at the helm, and history will find much to criticize about how he ran things. The guy currently running Russia is doing a pretty good imitation of a pre-glasnost Soviet authoritarian.
But Yeltsin's big moment had repercussions that Vladimir Putin will have a hard time undoing, however much he may want to. In the aftermath of the coup, the Ukraine voted for independence, and Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia broke free as well and joined the community of nations, taking irreversible steps to reclaiming their own national identities.
Boris Yeltsin made a much better activist then President (not unusual - Lech Walesa had a great deal more success running Solidarity than he did running Poland.) History will no doubt conclude that he failed as President. But while that went on, Presidents of other countries were given a chance to succeed and fail and be held accountable by their citizens, because of Boris Yeltsin's greatest moment.
Yeltsin factors in one of the bigger "Where were you when..." moments I recall. By 1991, the Berlin Wall had opened up, Eastern European nations were starting to decide their own fate, Mikhail Gorbachev was letting them, and Soviet hardliners finally made it clear they didn't like any of this one little bit. Gorbachev was locked away, Soviet TV was announcing a return to the old way of doing business, I remember watching the news in our dorm lounge thinking all the good news of the last couple of years was being undone.
Funny thing happened on the way back to tyranny, however. Russians stood up and said no, protesting against their regime and living to tell the tell for the first time in...well, longer than I could remember, at least. Out front where everyone could see and hear him, was Boris Yeltsin.

The soldiers who would normally have been going Tiananmen Square on the Russian protestors sided with Yeltsin, and the coup died an ignomious death.
Yeltsin took his own turn at the helm, and history will find much to criticize about how he ran things. The guy currently running Russia is doing a pretty good imitation of a pre-glasnost Soviet authoritarian.
But Yeltsin's big moment had repercussions that Vladimir Putin will have a hard time undoing, however much he may want to. In the aftermath of the coup, the Ukraine voted for independence, and Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia broke free as well and joined the community of nations, taking irreversible steps to reclaiming their own national identities.
Boris Yeltsin made a much better activist then President (not unusual - Lech Walesa had a great deal more success running Solidarity than he did running Poland.) History will no doubt conclude that he failed as President. But while that went on, Presidents of other countries were given a chance to succeed and fail and be held accountable by their citizens, because of Boris Yeltsin's greatest moment.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Crazy redhead update...
Thursday, April 19, 2007
He wanted everyone to pay attention to him
And if NBC wants to give a murderer the mass exposure he killed 30+ people to get, that's their call. Personally, I think the least we can do is deny him the spotlight to the extent we can, so I'm not watching.
Via Sully, here's a good round-up of the victims, complete with pictures and snippits of their lives from people who knew them.
Via Sully, here's a good round-up of the victims, complete with pictures and snippits of their lives from people who knew them.
Buehrle Legal...
Monday, April 16, 2007
Getting off easy...
Most action movies usually end with the hero killing the villain. If he's been captured and is about to be taken off to jail, just wait - he'll grab somebody's gun or something and the hero will have to throw him out a 20th floor window. It adds an extra element of drama or one more action sequence, I suppose, but I never found it terribly satisfying. I like to think that when the bad guys are beaten, they still have to stand in the dock - let them know they were the bad guy, they've been stopped, and now there's nothing they can do but pay the price for their crimes.
Just one of many thoughts that went through my head when I learned that the architect of the massacre at Virginia Tech was dead, as well as over 30 innocent victims. He killed himself. He'll never have to face the families of the young men and women he murdered, never have to live with the consequences of what he did, never have to spend any time with his own conscience.
I can't help but thing he got off easy.
Just one of many thoughts that went through my head when I learned that the architect of the massacre at Virginia Tech was dead, as well as over 30 innocent victims. He killed himself. He'll never have to face the families of the young men and women he murdered, never have to live with the consequences of what he did, never have to spend any time with his own conscience.
I can't help but thing he got off easy.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
This is because of what Don Imus said, isn't it?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The great North-South Divide...
Up North, Dawn Summers fights a lonely battle against the coming animal invasion.
Down here, we're teaching orangutans how to use computers.
Let the battle for supremacy commence!
Down here, we're teaching orangutans how to use computers.
Let the battle for supremacy commence!
Surprisingly, they don't all involve Kevin Nash...
Steve Silver has a wicked video showing some of the most spectacular in-ring screw-ups in wrestling history. This video should replace the "Don't try this at home" montage the WWE uses at the start of its pay-per-views.
There are some cringeworthy classics, like Sid Vicious nearly killing Brian Pillman in WarGames, Brock Lesnar nearly killing himself right before the biggest moment in his career, Owen Hart nearly driving the WWE out of business by nearly paralyzing Steve Austin, and a spot I'd heard about but never seen, clips from the WWE TV match where jobber Mike Bell screwed up a move against Perry Saturn, and Saturn responded by trying to put the kid in traction. There are also some fine moments for workrate snots who think Japan and ROH are free of shoddy workmanship - the Great Sasuke/Jushin Liger moment being particularly hilarious.
Oh, and a lot of Kevin Nash.
There are some cringeworthy classics, like Sid Vicious nearly killing Brian Pillman in WarGames, Brock Lesnar nearly killing himself right before the biggest moment in his career, Owen Hart nearly driving the WWE out of business by nearly paralyzing Steve Austin, and a spot I'd heard about but never seen, clips from the WWE TV match where jobber Mike Bell screwed up a move against Perry Saturn, and Saturn responded by trying to put the kid in traction. There are also some fine moments for workrate snots who think Japan and ROH are free of shoddy workmanship - the Great Sasuke/Jushin Liger moment being particularly hilarious.
Oh, and a lot of Kevin Nash.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
And then he went and complained to all his friends about what jerks cops are...
Welcome to Georgia...
27 people arrested in raid on high-stakes poker game in Metro Atlanta.
Which reminds me, Dawn and Karol really need to come down here and visit.
Which reminds me, Dawn and Karol really need to come down here and visit.
Things you think about when there's nothing on TV...
So, while channel surfing, I come across IFL Battleground, a mixed martial arts show. I think the same thing I always think when I watch MMA fights - the reason pro wrestling is fake is because real fighting is boring. But I did see one thing that was interesting - as part of "giving back to the community" - one team, the Portland Wolfpack, gave a class where they taught MMA techniques to a group of small children. According to the Wolfpack, they did this to help the children protect themselves against bullies.
My question - was there any screening done to ensure the children present for this seminar were not actually the bullies themselves? Have they given the weak and vulnerable skills to defend themselves, or have they created lunch-money stealing killing machines?
My question - was there any screening done to ensure the children present for this seminar were not actually the bullies themselves? Have they given the weak and vulnerable skills to defend themselves, or have they created lunch-money stealing killing machines?
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Yeah, that didn't suck...
Count me in with the others who have noted that Grindhouse rocks. Why America went so see "Are We Done Yet?" instead, I'll never know.
So, on to the important questions - Which is better - Death Proof or Planet Terror? Tough call - Death Proof is the better movie in the traditional sense, but Planet Terror is much more over the top fun, and since nobody's going to see this movie expecting a traditional good movie, let's give it to Rodriguez by split decision.
The best trailer is Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS", although Eli Roth's now-legendary "Thanksgiving" is a solid contender as well.
So, on to the important questions - Which is better - Death Proof or Planet Terror? Tough call - Death Proof is the better movie in the traditional sense, but Planet Terror is much more over the top fun, and since nobody's going to see this movie expecting a traditional good movie, let's give it to Rodriguez by split decision.
The best trailer is Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS", although Eli Roth's now-legendary "Thanksgiving" is a solid contender as well.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Award time...
OK, so back in Britain, the freed sailors say what pretty much everyone worth taking seriously had figured out long ago - that they were in Iraqi waters and only claimed otherwise under duress.
And, of course, team Wackypants had to offer their response:
To recap further, we consult Inigo Montoya:

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
I hate to pile on, but now, in addition to their propaganda and diplomatic coups, Iran can now add the highly coveted Montoya Award to their list of gains.
And, of course, team Wackypants had to offer their response:
Iran, which has been celebrating the incident as a victory, quickly rejected the charges, dismissing a news conference held by six of the freed personnel as "propaganda" and "a show." Iranian state TV accused British leaders of "dictating" the crew's statements.To recap - per Iran, statements made at press conference before free press coerced and dictated, statements made while locked in cells with guns pointed at their heads true expression of feelings.
To recap further, we consult Inigo Montoya:

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
I hate to pile on, but now, in addition to their propaganda and diplomatic coups, Iran can now add the highly coveted Montoya Award to their list of gains.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Six Flags over Georgia is run by a bunch of crack-smoking morons.
Oh behalf of everyone who lives within a couple of miles of your stupid amusement park, let me just take the opportunity to thank you for your moronic little free-admission gimmick that turned west Atlanta into a giant parking lot/violent mob scene all morning.
A promotion that encourages kids to walk on the interstate is truly a thing of rare genius.
A promotion that encourages kids to walk on the interstate is truly a thing of rare genius.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Vacation: Atlanta...
Decided to take a vacation right here in scenic Atlanta, GA. I wonder if there's anything interesting to do?

Oh, right, that. At some point prior to Selection Sunday, I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to see the NCAA Final Four sometime before I died. She took this to mean that I needed to see the Final Four this year, which makes me wonder if she knows something I don't. It also means I will continue to do the cooking around here.
Anyways, this year's Final Four consisted of the Georgetown Hoyas, the Florida Gators, the UCLA Bruins, and the Ohio State Gatorbitches.
Sorry, gave away the ending there. Don't worry, this is a post about a journey, not a destination.
Destination - Georgia Dome - This guy's crotch points the way...

But first - we got a hotel downtown to avoid the traffic. It worked, more or less, but there were some down points. These guys don't deliver food when they tell the hotels they will, first off. Also, if you live in a city with a capably functioning public transit system, I know this about you - you do not live in Atlanta.
The semifinals are the best day because you get to see all four teams. To the extent I am allowed to comment - I will say that on a per capita basis, the hottest chicks were supporting Ohio State. Florida finished a respectable second in this category, but lost points because there comes a point where the blond stepford sorority girl look gets a bit repetitive. Ohio State girls mixed it up a little. (For the sake of completeness - Georgetown finished third in this category, and UCLA didn't have a large enough sample size. You'll have to take my word for this - as my wife wielded the camera, there are no pictures of this vital facet of Final Four culture.)
We do, however, have a picture of Greg Oden:

Huh. He looks taller on TV.
And here's Florida star Joakim Noah - photographed here because his hair makes him the only Florida player recognizable from the nosebleed section. Or perhaps because the spouse likes his politics - in case anyone was surprised to find anti-Bush sentiment in the mind of a 22 year old French guy who isn't going to finish college.
But say what you will about Mr. Noah's politics, he and his teammates play basketball as a team sport better than anyone out there.

Also, the headband makes Corey Brewer just as recognizable.
After the OSU-Georgetown game, I got to hear an interesting conspiracy theory at the concession stand. A Hoya fan told me that the refs had the fix in to set up the more marketable Buckeye-Gator finale, and the Hoyas never had a chance, and UCLA would face the same fate. He was especially upset about a foul on Georgetown that could have been called on Oden instead. It would have been Oden's 5th, but instead it allowed Ohio State to shut down a Georgetown comeback and seal the win I nodded indulgently - conspiracy theories in college basketball. How silly.
Then, of course, I watched the refs light up UCLA stars Aaron Afflalo and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute with three fouls apiece in the first nine minutes.
You may be on to something, my pretzel-buying friend.
Anyway, speaking of the refs - here's a shot of one standing next to Greg Oden...

Sorry. Got the pictures mixed up. We also went to the zoo, where we got to see the huge superstar - baby panda Mei Lan.

It is, of course, well known that China uses pandas to build goodwill. We're all supposed to go "AWWWWWW" and let them invade Taiwan. If I may, however, I'd just like to say that if China's ambassador of adorableness is supposed to get me to sign off on the oppression of Tibet, I don't think it's too much to ask for said ambassador to wake the heck up and do something cute.
I'm just saying, is all.
Back to the Georgia Dome for the finals. MARTA more or less behaves itself, and we get there in one piece. The game itself is somewhat anti-climatic - Oden was awesome, but Florida didn't much care, as they rained three-pointers on the Buckeyes and completely shut down OSU's perimeter shooting.
After the game, I learned something interesting - for as much practice as Florida fans have had gloating in the past year or so - they're surprisingly bad at it. If you don't have any clever taunts for your opponents, then you might as well be gracious in victory. Saying Greg Oden is 47 years old and gay just doesn't cut it.

Though he sure don't look 19.
Anyway, congrats to the Gators - great season, but seriously, work on the trash talking. Even after Noah, Brewer and Horford all leave, and Billy Donovan kicks your ass from the Kentucky sidelines - it's still a useful skill to have.
Or at least, so I'm told. I went to Illinois State - what the hell would we know?

Oh, right, that. At some point prior to Selection Sunday, I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to see the NCAA Final Four sometime before I died. She took this to mean that I needed to see the Final Four this year, which makes me wonder if she knows something I don't. It also means I will continue to do the cooking around here.
Anyways, this year's Final Four consisted of the Georgetown Hoyas, the Florida Gators, the UCLA Bruins, and the Ohio State Gatorbitches.
Sorry, gave away the ending there. Don't worry, this is a post about a journey, not a destination.
Destination - Georgia Dome - This guy's crotch points the way...

But first - we got a hotel downtown to avoid the traffic. It worked, more or less, but there were some down points. These guys don't deliver food when they tell the hotels they will, first off. Also, if you live in a city with a capably functioning public transit system, I know this about you - you do not live in Atlanta.
The semifinals are the best day because you get to see all four teams. To the extent I am allowed to comment - I will say that on a per capita basis, the hottest chicks were supporting Ohio State. Florida finished a respectable second in this category, but lost points because there comes a point where the blond stepford sorority girl look gets a bit repetitive. Ohio State girls mixed it up a little. (For the sake of completeness - Georgetown finished third in this category, and UCLA didn't have a large enough sample size. You'll have to take my word for this - as my wife wielded the camera, there are no pictures of this vital facet of Final Four culture.)
We do, however, have a picture of Greg Oden:

Huh. He looks taller on TV.

And here's Florida star Joakim Noah - photographed here because his hair makes him the only Florida player recognizable from the nosebleed section. Or perhaps because the spouse likes his politics - in case anyone was surprised to find anti-Bush sentiment in the mind of a 22 year old French guy who isn't going to finish college.
But say what you will about Mr. Noah's politics, he and his teammates play basketball as a team sport better than anyone out there.

Also, the headband makes Corey Brewer just as recognizable.
After the OSU-Georgetown game, I got to hear an interesting conspiracy theory at the concession stand. A Hoya fan told me that the refs had the fix in to set up the more marketable Buckeye-Gator finale, and the Hoyas never had a chance, and UCLA would face the same fate. He was especially upset about a foul on Georgetown that could have been called on Oden instead. It would have been Oden's 5th, but instead it allowed Ohio State to shut down a Georgetown comeback and seal the win I nodded indulgently - conspiracy theories in college basketball. How silly.
Then, of course, I watched the refs light up UCLA stars Aaron Afflalo and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute with three fouls apiece in the first nine minutes.
You may be on to something, my pretzel-buying friend.
Anyway, speaking of the refs - here's a shot of one standing next to Greg Oden...

Sorry. Got the pictures mixed up. We also went to the zoo, where we got to see the huge superstar - baby panda Mei Lan.

It is, of course, well known that China uses pandas to build goodwill. We're all supposed to go "AWWWWWW" and let them invade Taiwan. If I may, however, I'd just like to say that if China's ambassador of adorableness is supposed to get me to sign off on the oppression of Tibet, I don't think it's too much to ask for said ambassador to wake the heck up and do something cute.
I'm just saying, is all.
Back to the Georgia Dome for the finals. MARTA more or less behaves itself, and we get there in one piece. The game itself is somewhat anti-climatic - Oden was awesome, but Florida didn't much care, as they rained three-pointers on the Buckeyes and completely shut down OSU's perimeter shooting.
After the game, I learned something interesting - for as much practice as Florida fans have had gloating in the past year or so - they're surprisingly bad at it. If you don't have any clever taunts for your opponents, then you might as well be gracious in victory. Saying Greg Oden is 47 years old and gay just doesn't cut it.

Though he sure don't look 19.
Anyway, congrats to the Gators - great season, but seriously, work on the trash talking. Even after Noah, Brewer and Horford all leave, and Billy Donovan kicks your ass from the Kentucky sidelines - it's still a useful skill to have.
Or at least, so I'm told. I went to Illinois State - what the hell would we know?
Be kind to your children...
...they'll choose your nursing home.
One way you would not be kind to your children, for instance: Naming your baby girl "Metallica."
You read something like this, and your first reaction is horror:
Of course, if you name your daughter "Metallica", maybe naming your own children is a little too advanced for you.
One way you would not be kind to your children, for instance: Naming your baby girl "Metallica."
You read something like this, and your first reaction is horror:
In Sweden, parents must get the names of their children approved by the tax authority, which is in charge of the population registry and issues personal identification numbers, similar to Social Security numbers in the United States.Parents needing permission from the government to name their children. It's enough to make Barack Obama start smoking again.
Of course, if you name your daughter "Metallica", maybe naming your own children is a little too advanced for you.
Buy me this...
For sale - THE Knight Industries Two Thousand, aka KITT.

This is my mid-life crisis-mobile.
Of course, they have to say this:

This is my mid-life crisis-mobile.
Of course, they have to say this:
Most of the buttons don't do anything, Verhoek said. Nor can the car hold a conversation, or drive itself.But it is bulletproof, right?
Sounds like Mugabe...
Dear Billy Ray Cyrus:
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

