Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I knew I liked Ace for a reason...
He doesn't like Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Seriously. That show blows monkey chunks. Oh, and apparently their stupid little promo campaign got mistaken for a terrorist attack.
Seriously. That show blows monkey chunks. Oh, and apparently their stupid little promo campaign got mistaken for a terrorist attack.
Sign you have legal trouble...
When your employer includes a specific provision in your contract giving them the right to can you if/when you get indicted.
Although this is why people have agents - to make the argument that you still get paid while your butt's sitting in court:
Although this is why people have agents - to make the argument that you still get paid while your butt's sitting in court:
"Although it is not my policy to comment on the specifics of an individual player's contract, the reporting that Barry will allow the Giants to get out of his contract if he is indicted on the federal steroid investigation is inaccurate," he said. "The collective bargaining agreement governs the work relationship between the owners and players, not the Giants' unilateral assertions."Say what you will about Bonds - his agent is earning his money.
Now there's a statute...
Georgia legislators to debate commissioning a statute of none other than Hurricane Zell Miller.
Obviously, not only should Zell get a statute, but to keep the character of the man it represents, the statute should have small mounted guns that fire regularly, to prevent any passing birds from getting ideas.
Obviously, not only should Zell get a statute, but to keep the character of the man it represents, the statute should have small mounted guns that fire regularly, to prevent any passing birds from getting ideas.
What, is Paula too stable?
American Idol called Courtney Love to discuss having her as a judge.
By the way, my early favorite is that kid who wants to make Hasselhoff cry. I just hope he has a backup plan - like, if he doesn't do it with his singing, he hits him with a hammer or something.
By the way, my early favorite is that kid who wants to make Hasselhoff cry. I just hope he has a backup plan - like, if he doesn't do it with his singing, he hits him with a hammer or something.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Ah, to be young again...
Greased, naked student disrupts lunch.
Smart - grease yourself up so the school cop can't grab ahold of you.
Stupid - forgetting that the school cop also has a stun gun.
Smart - grease yourself up so the school cop can't grab ahold of you.
Stupid - forgetting that the school cop also has a stun gun.
An agreeable bunch...
The most recent issue of the Atlantic has an interesting article on Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts, reviewing his first term as Chief, and discussing his (mostly successful) push for greater unanimity among the court's members when issuing opinions.
What I found interesting was the accompanying graph, showing how often each justice sided with every other justice during Roberts' first term, as compared with Rehnquist's final term. I'll throw out one spoiler - the two justices who agreed with each other the least are Stevens and Alito. (And even they sided with each other almost half the time.) Now, before you see for yourself, guess which two justices were most likely to agree with each other.
Got it?
OK, see if you're right.
Let me guess. You knew all along that story about Thomas and Scalia sharing a brain was just hype, right?
What I found interesting was the accompanying graph, showing how often each justice sided with every other justice during Roberts' first term, as compared with Rehnquist's final term. I'll throw out one spoiler - the two justices who agreed with each other the least are Stevens and Alito. (And even they sided with each other almost half the time.) Now, before you see for yourself, guess which two justices were most likely to agree with each other.
Got it?
OK, see if you're right.
Let me guess. You knew all along that story about Thomas and Scalia sharing a brain was just hype, right?
But do you call it "soda" or "pop?"
Bob provides a detailed look at the biggest failures in the soft drink industry. Who holds the coveted crown of Edsel of Carbonated beverages?
Actually, that one's a no-brainer, but there's quite a trip down memory lane there.
Maybe a later addition to the list will be Coke's C2, which I liked, by which I mean my wife would actually let me buy it.
Actually, that one's a no-brainer, but there's quite a trip down memory lane there.
Maybe a later addition to the list will be Coke's C2, which I liked, by which I mean my wife would actually let me buy it.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
It's that time of year again!
Time for the now-annual predictions for my favorite wrestling event ever, the Royal Rumble.
The Hardy Boys vs. MNM
Who Should Win: It really doesn't matter. Let's say MNM.
Who Will Win: It really doesn't matter. Let's say I'm wrong and go with the Hardys.
Will It Suck? Absolutely not.
Notice how the feature tag team match involves two teams that aren't, technically speaking, together. It'd be nice if the WWE put them back, at least for a little while. Anyone have a problem with MNM-Hooliganz and Hardys-Rated RKO at Wrestlemania? I didn't think so.
ECW Title Match - Bobby Lashley vs. Test.
Who Should Win: Lashley needs to keep this title for a while.
Who Will Win: If any title changes hands, it's this one, but I really doubt they're putting the belt on Test.
Will it Suck? Yep. If you want entertainment value, find an old-school ECW fan and watch him whenever the commentators bill this match as "extreme!"
Smackdown Title - Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy
Who Should Win: Batista - although Kennedy's close to being ready for a title run.
Who Will Win: Batista
Will it Suck? No, but it won't be anything to write home about either.
Raw Title - John Cena vs. Umaga - Last Man Standing
Who Should Win: Cena. The poor man's Samoa Joe is not title material.
Who Will Win: Cena.
Will it Suck? See above. They'll give it everything they have, and it should be fairly entertaining.
30 Man Royal Rumble Match
Who Should Win: Shawn Michaels - with Triple H out, the DX-Rated RKO feud is on hold. Other problem - RAW doesn't have anyone at Cena's level who would be a good Wrestlemania opponent. Michaels winning the Rumble would make him a credible threat to the title, give him something to do between now an Triple H's return, and perhaps most importantly, he could be counted on to drag a kick-ass match out of Cena at Wrestlemania. (Cena's better than his critics give him credit for, but he needs a top-flight worker to get the best out of him.)
Who Will Win: The Undertaker - Rumor has it the WWE is planning to headline Wrestlemania by putting Batista's title up against Taker's WM win streak.
Will It Suck? The Royal Rumble never sucks.
Bonus picks
The Backlund Award - Explained here, this is basically someone who gets themselves over by enduring an amazingly long time, even though they don't win. I known he's supposed to be in the doghouse, but the only person who makes sense for this spot this year is CM Punk. Since that almost certainly won't happen, let's actually predict a long run for Kenny Dykstra.
The Diesel Award - Someone who gets over by eliminating a bunch of people. The will go, without question, to the Great Khali, with one major difference than past winners. He won't get over.
The Hardy Boys vs. MNM
Who Should Win: It really doesn't matter. Let's say MNM.
Who Will Win: It really doesn't matter. Let's say I'm wrong and go with the Hardys.
Will It Suck? Absolutely not.
Notice how the feature tag team match involves two teams that aren't, technically speaking, together. It'd be nice if the WWE put them back, at least for a little while. Anyone have a problem with MNM-Hooliganz and Hardys-Rated RKO at Wrestlemania? I didn't think so.
ECW Title Match - Bobby Lashley vs. Test.
Who Should Win: Lashley needs to keep this title for a while.
Who Will Win: If any title changes hands, it's this one, but I really doubt they're putting the belt on Test.
Will it Suck? Yep. If you want entertainment value, find an old-school ECW fan and watch him whenever the commentators bill this match as "extreme!"
Smackdown Title - Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy
Who Should Win: Batista - although Kennedy's close to being ready for a title run.
Who Will Win: Batista
Will it Suck? No, but it won't be anything to write home about either.
Raw Title - John Cena vs. Umaga - Last Man Standing
Who Should Win: Cena. The poor man's Samoa Joe is not title material.
Who Will Win: Cena.
Will it Suck? See above. They'll give it everything they have, and it should be fairly entertaining.
30 Man Royal Rumble Match
Who Should Win: Shawn Michaels - with Triple H out, the DX-Rated RKO feud is on hold. Other problem - RAW doesn't have anyone at Cena's level who would be a good Wrestlemania opponent. Michaels winning the Rumble would make him a credible threat to the title, give him something to do between now an Triple H's return, and perhaps most importantly, he could be counted on to drag a kick-ass match out of Cena at Wrestlemania. (Cena's better than his critics give him credit for, but he needs a top-flight worker to get the best out of him.)
Who Will Win: The Undertaker - Rumor has it the WWE is planning to headline Wrestlemania by putting Batista's title up against Taker's WM win streak.
Will It Suck? The Royal Rumble never sucks.
Bonus picks
The Backlund Award - Explained here, this is basically someone who gets themselves over by enduring an amazingly long time, even though they don't win. I known he's supposed to be in the doghouse, but the only person who makes sense for this spot this year is CM Punk. Since that almost certainly won't happen, let's actually predict a long run for Kenny Dykstra.
The Diesel Award - Someone who gets over by eliminating a bunch of people. The will go, without question, to the Great Khali, with one major difference than past winners. He won't get over.
Updates are fun?
Remember all the fuss about how police had a search warrant for a robbery suspect's head?
Never mind. The police have declined to seek any more search warrants authorizing the bullet's removal. As for the defendant himself - he says the bullet will exonerate him, but he's going to keep it in his head until after his trial. He won't feel his lawyer is really earning his fee if he makes it easy for him, I guess.
Never mind. The police have declined to seek any more search warrants authorizing the bullet's removal. As for the defendant himself - he says the bullet will exonerate him, but he's going to keep it in his head until after his trial. He won't feel his lawyer is really earning his fee if he makes it easy for him, I guess.
Well...at least he's trying...
A convict out on a weekend release was scared he was going to be late getting back to jail...so he steals a car to get there in time.
Stupid criminals - global phenomenon.
Stupid criminals - global phenomenon.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
But you were such a good candidate!
John Kerry figures out nobody really likes him, decides not to lose Presidency in 2008.
Hopefully, though, should we as a nation ever be in need of a laugh, we can count on John Kerry to come out in public and try and connect with the average American. Those were really really funny.
Tip - Ace.
Hopefully, though, should we as a nation ever be in need of a laugh, we can count on John Kerry to come out in public and try and connect with the average American. Those were really really funny.
Tip - Ace.
Happy now, Summers?
Since I didn't watch the State of the Union, I don't have so much to blog about today, so what the heck, let's go ahead and to the alphabet meme that Dawn Summers is scolding me about.
A- available or single? - Ummm, who wrote this thing where your two options are the same thing? Neither.
B- best friend? Sadly, I've been bad about staying in touch with my childhood best friend, who now lives in Indiana. I have a coworker and a spouse who would both be good answers, as would Big Stupid.
C- cake or pie? Cake - although I'm not generally a fan of baked desserts.
D- drink of choice? - Coke.
E- essential item I use every day: - Toothbrush.
F- favorite color? - Let's say purple.
G- gummy bears or gummy worms? Gummy worms. You can eat them in segments.
H- hometown? Currently Atlanta, GA, although I grew up just outside Peoria, IL.
I- indulgence? Junk food in general.
J- january or february? February - hopefully we'll get our annual burst of winter weather then.
K- kids and names: This is still hypothetical - apparently Jackson is the leading contender for a boys' name. (Note to spouse - Truman is not a good first name for a child. You trust me on criminal law questions because I've been a criminal lawyer for ten years. Well, I've been a Gilbert for 34 - trust me on which names are nerd names.)
L- life is incomplete without? Dogs.
M- marriage date: September 2, 2001. It was the greatest day ever.
N- number of siblings: One sister.
O- oranges or apples? Apples.
P- phobias or fears? Heights and stinging insects.
Q- favorite quote? "It doesn't matter what your name is!" - The Rock.
R- reasons to smile? Whenever I need one, I just look at Otchki.
S- season? Winter. And I mean real winter, not this silly 50 degree nonsense that passes for winter in Georgia.
T- tag: Let's go with PetitDov, Kicking Air, and Work In Progress. Post, or I'll tell Dawn on you.
U- unknown fact about me: My first year in little league I led the league for most times getting hit in the head with a pitch. My coach kept telling me to stand close to the plate and not be afraid of the ball. I'm now convinced he was deliberately risking giving me a concussion just to get another man on base.
V- vegetable you don’t like: Asparagus.
W- worst habit: Since it's the one that makes everyone think I'm crazy, I'll say talking to myself, although it does assure me a fascinating speaker and an intelligent audience all at once.
Y- your favorite food? The bacon double cheeseburger is nature's most perfect food. Even when you consider the heart attacks.
Z- zodiac? Virgo.
A- available or single? - Ummm, who wrote this thing where your two options are the same thing? Neither.
B- best friend? Sadly, I've been bad about staying in touch with my childhood best friend, who now lives in Indiana. I have a coworker and a spouse who would both be good answers, as would Big Stupid.
C- cake or pie? Cake - although I'm not generally a fan of baked desserts.
D- drink of choice? - Coke.
E- essential item I use every day: - Toothbrush.
F- favorite color? - Let's say purple.
G- gummy bears or gummy worms? Gummy worms. You can eat them in segments.
H- hometown? Currently Atlanta, GA, although I grew up just outside Peoria, IL.
I- indulgence? Junk food in general.
J- january or february? February - hopefully we'll get our annual burst of winter weather then.
K- kids and names: This is still hypothetical - apparently Jackson is the leading contender for a boys' name. (Note to spouse - Truman is not a good first name for a child. You trust me on criminal law questions because I've been a criminal lawyer for ten years. Well, I've been a Gilbert for 34 - trust me on which names are nerd names.)
L- life is incomplete without? Dogs.
M- marriage date: September 2, 2001. It was the greatest day ever.
N- number of siblings: One sister.
O- oranges or apples? Apples.
P- phobias or fears? Heights and stinging insects.
Q- favorite quote? "It doesn't matter what your name is!" - The Rock.
R- reasons to smile? Whenever I need one, I just look at Otchki.
S- season? Winter. And I mean real winter, not this silly 50 degree nonsense that passes for winter in Georgia.
T- tag: Let's go with PetitDov, Kicking Air, and Work In Progress. Post, or I'll tell Dawn on you.
U- unknown fact about me: My first year in little league I led the league for most times getting hit in the head with a pitch. My coach kept telling me to stand close to the plate and not be afraid of the ball. I'm now convinced he was deliberately risking giving me a concussion just to get another man on base.
V- vegetable you don’t like: Asparagus.
W- worst habit: Since it's the one that makes everyone think I'm crazy, I'll say talking to myself, although it does assure me a fascinating speaker and an intelligent audience all at once.
Y- your favorite food? The bacon double cheeseburger is nature's most perfect food. Even when you consider the heart attacks.
Z- zodiac? Virgo.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
God bless Air Tran Airlines!
AirTran defends decision to remove crying toddler and her family from the plane after the family's inability to calm the child down delayed the takeoff of the plane.
The family, of course, considers themselves innocent victims in this case:
AirTran Airlines - where your inability to control your children is not going to be anyone else's problem!
And hey, there's good news for AirTran spokesman Michael Vick, as well!
The family, of course, considers themselves innocent victims in this case:
The father said his family would never fly AirTran again.I would like to announce that my wife and I will be flying to see my folks this weeked, and we are happy to be flying AirTran Airlines. Should you be seeking discount air travel for any reason, I would encourage you to consider AirTran as well.
AirTran Airlines - where your inability to control your children is not going to be anyone else's problem!
And hey, there's good news for AirTran spokesman Michael Vick, as well!
For the toy collector on your gift list...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Crap - not again...
Another pro wrestler was found dead, far too soon, under mysterious circumstances.
This time, it was Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow. He was 45.
Bam Bam was supposed to be the future of wrestling when he broke into the WWF. Used to giant wrestlers that barely moved, watching the nearly 400 pound Bigelow hit dropkicks and top rope moves was something most wrestling fans had never seen before. Injuries, jealous co-workers, and Vince McMahon's miniscule attention span combined to prevent it from happening, but Bam Bam would have a moment of history at Wrestlemania XI, when he faced Lawrence Taylor in what is, by far, the greatest wrestling match to ever involve a mainstream celebrity. (An award it would win simply by being the only celebrity match that didn't suck chunks, but seriously, it was pretty good.)
Reading the article about him, it appears that Bigelow ended up leaving his health on the wrestling mat, left with debts, health problems, an inability to work in the only career he'd ever known, or to start anew, although I remember him opening a deli.
One last thing to remember about Bam Bam - in 2000 he risked his life and suffered severe burns saving children from a brush fire.
Rest in peace, Bammer.
Dammit.
This time, it was Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow. He was 45.
Bam Bam was supposed to be the future of wrestling when he broke into the WWF. Used to giant wrestlers that barely moved, watching the nearly 400 pound Bigelow hit dropkicks and top rope moves was something most wrestling fans had never seen before. Injuries, jealous co-workers, and Vince McMahon's miniscule attention span combined to prevent it from happening, but Bam Bam would have a moment of history at Wrestlemania XI, when he faced Lawrence Taylor in what is, by far, the greatest wrestling match to ever involve a mainstream celebrity. (An award it would win simply by being the only celebrity match that didn't suck chunks, but seriously, it was pretty good.)
Reading the article about him, it appears that Bigelow ended up leaving his health on the wrestling mat, left with debts, health problems, an inability to work in the only career he'd ever known, or to start anew, although I remember him opening a deli.
One last thing to remember about Bam Bam - in 2000 he risked his life and suffered severe burns saving children from a brush fire.
Rest in peace, Bammer.
Dammit.
Like Narnia. Only evil.
Went and saw Pan's Labyrinth last night. Very good movie, even with the subtitles. It's billed as an adult fairy tale, and it reminded us of an original Grimm fairy tale. The Pale Man is pretty scary, and so is Pan when he wants to be. It weaves in and out of fantasy and reality well, and it looks impressive.
I don't know that I'd call it the "Best movie of 2006," as many critics have, but it's top 3 or 4 without too much trouble. Go see it.
I don't know that I'd call it the "Best movie of 2006," as many critics have, but it's top 3 or 4 without too much trouble. Go see it.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Democracy is a lot of people doing what I say...
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez can now rule by decree, courtesy of a complaint, opposition-free legislature.
I remember the Nation really dug this guy. The over/under on when the first "man, we wish the imperialistic U.S. wouldn't force Chavez to do this!" article appears there or someplace similar is 3 days.
Tip - Publius.
I remember the Nation really dug this guy. The over/under on when the first "man, we wish the imperialistic U.S. wouldn't force Chavez to do this!" article appears there or someplace similar is 3 days.
Tip - Publius.
Why people hate journalists...
Reporter gets to go to a strip club for a story. Gotta let the world know what songs she danced to.
Does he get to expense this?
Does he get to expense this?
Wacky TV buddy comedy idea...
A show starring Isaiah Washington and Michael Richards.
Failing that, we could just ship them both to the UK to be in the next Celebrity Big Brother house.
Failing that, we could just ship them both to the UK to be in the next Celebrity Big Brother house.
Have a nice trip...
Former Rep. Bob Ney sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison.
Oh, and did you know he's an alcoholic who needs help?
Oh, and did you know he's an alcoholic who needs help?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Thanks for telling me about Watergate...
R.I.P. - Art Buchwald.
When I was in, I think, seventh grade, I was looking for something to read in my parents' bookshelves and found a couple of Buchwald books about the Nixon era. They were presented as humorous, and hey, I like funny, so I read them, and considered myself an expert on Watergate. Which, I now understand, is about the same thing as considering yourself to be a well-informed citizen based solely on regular viewing of the Colbert Report. (Note to people who believe this - I was twelve. What's your excuse?) A twelve year old who prided himself on being an expert on Watergate - you can start the downward coolness spiral at pretty much that moment.
Still, they were good books. Thanks, Art.
When I was in, I think, seventh grade, I was looking for something to read in my parents' bookshelves and found a couple of Buchwald books about the Nixon era. They were presented as humorous, and hey, I like funny, so I read them, and considered myself an expert on Watergate. Which, I now understand, is about the same thing as considering yourself to be a well-informed citizen based solely on regular viewing of the Colbert Report. (Note to people who believe this - I was twelve. What's your excuse?) A twelve year old who prided himself on being an expert on Watergate - you can start the downward coolness spiral at pretty much that moment.
Still, they were good books. Thanks, Art.
Calm down, I'm sure there's a rational explanation, Part II
Falcons QB Michael Vick allegedly tried to take a water bottle through airport security in Miami that had a false bottom. In the false bottom was a substance that smelled like marijuana. (Chemical testing will take awhile, since personal use marijuana isn't as high on the crime lab priority chart as some other stuff.)
The police report is here. For fantasy football players, information on Falcons backup QB Matt Schaub is here, although Schaub is a restricted free agent who will likely draw a fair amount of interest among teams who need a QB and don't have a shot at Brady Quinn.
The police report is here. For fantasy football players, information on Falcons backup QB Matt Schaub is here, although Schaub is a restricted free agent who will likely draw a fair amount of interest among teams who need a QB and don't have a shot at Brady Quinn.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Missed opportunity...
Remember the skunk stranded in Canada who needed a ride to California? I'm still convinced the resulting reality series would have made Dawn Summers an international superstar, but it's too late. Some California radio show host is going to get the glory.
Calm down, I'm sure there's a rational explanation...
Criminal defense lawyer found naked with a 14 year old girl in a courthouse conference room.
Tip - Steve Silver. See also Mithras for helpful tips should you find yourself in a similar situation, or are contemplating putting yourself in a similar situation.
Tip - Steve Silver. See also Mithras for helpful tips should you find yourself in a similar situation, or are contemplating putting yourself in a similar situation.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
It's the best movie I've seen in 2007!
OK, it's the only movie I've seen in 2007. (Technically, we saw Dreamgirls on New Year's Day, but that's going on 06's list.)
Spouse wanted to see a movie yesterday, so we basically went the theater with the idea of seeing whatever was starting in about 10 minutes, which turned out to be Alpha Dog. Spoilers below, if you're thinking about seeing it and don't know the story it's based on.
Alpha Dog is, of course, based on the story of Jesse James Hollywood, scheduled to go on trial later this year. The controversy surrounding the movie was previously discussed here. It's a made-for-the-movies story if there ever was one, based on the murder of 15 year old Nick Markowitz, who got caught up in a dispute between Hollywood and Markowitz' brother, Ben. (Ben's character is the one significant player who doesn't get a "where are they now" moment at the end of the movie. It's actually one of the few positive things to come out of this whole affair, and can be read here.)
The funny thing about the controversy is Hollywood's lawyer savaged the movie, claiming its very existence would prevent Hollywood from getting a fair trial because of what a jerk the Hollywood character is. Now that I've seen the movie, I have to agree - Johnny Truelove, the character based on Hollywood, is scum. Oddly enough, the guy who wrote the screenplay, a criminal defense attorney by day, is hoping the work he did writing the screenplay can help save Hollywood from execution. In a bit of good news for the defense, however, opening weekend box office numbers suggest it shouldn't be too hard to find a jury that hasn't seen the film.
Which is actually kind of a shame. Suprisingly, it's not half bad, and yes, Justin Timberlake holds up his end just fine. (Sharon Stone, on the other hand...) Sitting right in front of us were a couple of teenage girls who clearly had no idea where the story was going. It's pretty jarring if it's a surprise.
It's decent - catch a matinee or see it on Netflix. Unless, of course, you are called to serve on Jesse James Hollywood's jury.
Spouse wanted to see a movie yesterday, so we basically went the theater with the idea of seeing whatever was starting in about 10 minutes, which turned out to be Alpha Dog. Spoilers below, if you're thinking about seeing it and don't know the story it's based on.
Alpha Dog is, of course, based on the story of Jesse James Hollywood, scheduled to go on trial later this year. The controversy surrounding the movie was previously discussed here. It's a made-for-the-movies story if there ever was one, based on the murder of 15 year old Nick Markowitz, who got caught up in a dispute between Hollywood and Markowitz' brother, Ben. (Ben's character is the one significant player who doesn't get a "where are they now" moment at the end of the movie. It's actually one of the few positive things to come out of this whole affair, and can be read here.)
The funny thing about the controversy is Hollywood's lawyer savaged the movie, claiming its very existence would prevent Hollywood from getting a fair trial because of what a jerk the Hollywood character is. Now that I've seen the movie, I have to agree - Johnny Truelove, the character based on Hollywood, is scum. Oddly enough, the guy who wrote the screenplay, a criminal defense attorney by day, is hoping the work he did writing the screenplay can help save Hollywood from execution. In a bit of good news for the defense, however, opening weekend box office numbers suggest it shouldn't be too hard to find a jury that hasn't seen the film.
Which is actually kind of a shame. Suprisingly, it's not half bad, and yes, Justin Timberlake holds up his end just fine. (Sharon Stone, on the other hand...) Sitting right in front of us were a couple of teenage girls who clearly had no idea where the story was going. It's pretty jarring if it's a surprise.
It's decent - catch a matinee or see it on Netflix. Unless, of course, you are called to serve on Jesse James Hollywood's jury.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Americans cannot be trusted with democracy...
The American Kennel Club has announced 2006's most popular dog breeds, and to no surprise, the Labrador Retriever has claimed the top spot. #2 is the Yorkshire Terrier, a breed popular with people who, instead of dogs, prefer having a live dust bunny as a pet. People like my mother-in-law.
For some reason, the Keeshond ranked only #93, two spots down from last year, and rating behind something called the Bouvier des Flandres, which, near as I can tell, is Belgium's answer to Moondog Spot.
This, as you might expect, was a source of much discussion in our home...
And pray for some horrible scandal to befall the Bouvier des Flanders, like getting photographed partying with Britney Spears or something.
For some reason, the Keeshond ranked only #93, two spots down from last year, and rating behind something called the Bouvier des Flandres, which, near as I can tell, is Belgium's answer to Moondog Spot.
This, as you might expect, was a source of much discussion in our home...
Otchki: (The one on the left, for those of you whose eyes glaze over during dog blog posts) "So, there are 92 breeds more popular than us?"Yes, Otchki is a dog, but since it's his birthday (He's 4), let's just let it go this once.
Mishka: "I'm afraid so. Americans have no sense of good taste. Also, anyone whose eyes glaze over during dog blogging stopped reading long before they got this far."
Otchki: "The stuff in the parentheses is just narration. I didn't actually say that."
Mishka: "I've got news for you. You didn't say the rest of it either. You're a dog."
And pray for some horrible scandal to befall the Bouvier des Flanders, like getting photographed partying with Britney Spears or something.
Cell phones - death, only with a monthly fee...
My wife always tells me to take my cell phone with me when I go someplace. Some nonsense about "In case I need to call you," or "if there's an emergency."
Bull cookies. She's trying to kill me.
I understand, of course, that any such legislation would exempt American Samoa.
To hell with American Samoa, says I.
Bull cookies. She's trying to kill me.
This is not the first incident of a phone catching fire. In June 2004, a 16-year-old girl in Ontario, Calif., received small second-degree burns when her phone combusted in her back pocket. There also have been instances in South Carolina, Philadelphia, Beijing, Amsterdam and Finland in recent years.Cell phones have been catching on fire for years. I fully expect Nancy Pelosi to get on this right away by introducting anti-flammable cell phone legislation.
I understand, of course, that any such legislation would exempt American Samoa.
To hell with American Samoa, says I.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Canada. Nice country. Insane, but a nice country.
Canadian wildlife officials are looking for a volunteer to drive a skunk from Toronto to California.
And the way they sell it, who could refuse?
In any event, I think we can all agree that if a job ever called for Dawn Summers, it would be this one.
And the way they sell it, who could refuse?
"We can never give a no-spray guarantee, of course," said Nathalie Karvonen, executive director at the Toronto Wildlife Center, which has been caring for the skunk since January 5, referring to the black-and-white striped animal's foul-smelling defense mechanism.Canada claims it would be illegal for the skunk to be released into the Candian wild. Think about that next time someone tells you the U.S. is the one who's hostile to immigrants.
"It would have be somebody who would be prepared for that possibility."
In any event, I think we can all agree that if a job ever called for Dawn Summers, it would be this one.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Luckiest. Investigator. Ever.
An Air Force Sergeant is in some hot water after posing nde for Playboy.
Buy Playboy. Look in Playboy. See if it's her. Consult rules to see if that's a problem.
You could check the rules first, of course, but then you might not get to buy a copy of Playboy.
And expense it.
An Air Force staff sergeant who posed nude for Playboy magazine has been relieved of her duties while the military investigates, officials said Thursday.Now, military justice is outside my area of expertise, but how long does such an investigation supposedly take?
Buy Playboy. Look in Playboy. See if it's her. Consult rules to see if that's a problem.
You could check the rules first, of course, but then you might not get to buy a copy of Playboy.
And expense it.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Wanna buy a castle?
Nancy Pelosi's America
Sing the national anthem. Get your butt kicked.
We all know the new Congress will soon outlaw loving America. I guess some people couldn't wait.
Tip - Dawn.
We all know the new Congress will soon outlaw loving America. I guess some people couldn't wait.
Tip - Dawn.
All "House," all the time...
Chase and Cameron engaged to be married.
The wedding will involve them screwing things up the entire way through the ceremony, only to have House save the day in the last 10 minutes when he mocking tells Chase "You give her the ring and say 'I do,' idiot."
The wedding will involve them screwing things up the entire way through the ceremony, only to have House save the day in the last 10 minutes when he mocking tells Chase "You give her the ring and say 'I do,' idiot."
House question...
OK, so how, exactly, does Cutty "own House's ass?" What's she going to do if he acts up, call the police and confess to tampering with evidence and committing perjury to allow a known drug addict to continue treating patients at her hospital? Is she under the impression she'll be able to get a job as a school nurse after that?
Monday, January 08, 2007
What would Tony Soprano do?
Did you know New Jersey has a provision in its state constitution barring idiots from voting?
A State Senator has introduced an amendment to repeal the constitutional ban on idiot sufferage.
Guess this Senator's political affiliation.
Note - the actual point of the bill is that the word "idiot" was originally intended to refer to the mentally ill. I think this is the perfect venue for those who believe constitutional meaning evolves over time to get involved, and re-interpret this provision to bar voting from Steven Seagal fans, reality show contestants, and people who consider themselves informed citizens primarily because they watch "The Daily Show."
A State Senator has introduced an amendment to repeal the constitutional ban on idiot sufferage.
Guess this Senator's political affiliation.
Note - the actual point of the bill is that the word "idiot" was originally intended to refer to the mentally ill. I think this is the perfect venue for those who believe constitutional meaning evolves over time to get involved, and re-interpret this provision to bar voting from Steven Seagal fans, reality show contestants, and people who consider themselves informed citizens primarily because they watch "The Daily Show."
This just in...
Chinese government still a very small, petty, paranoid group of people.
They really should play that "how would you like it if..." game and invite someone from the Puerto Rican independence movement to pay China an official visit. They could point out that Puerto Rico has had several opportunites to vote on the matter, and encourage the Chinese government to pledge in advance to respect a Taiwanese vote on the matter. Heck, find somebody from the Hawaiian independence movement if you want.
Remember, the best response to speech you don't like is more speech.
They really should play that "how would you like it if..." game and invite someone from the Puerto Rican independence movement to pay China an official visit. They could point out that Puerto Rico has had several opportunites to vote on the matter, and encourage the Chinese government to pledge in advance to respect a Taiwanese vote on the matter. Heck, find somebody from the Hawaiian independence movement if you want.
Remember, the best response to speech you don't like is more speech.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Atlanta's own Heidi Fleiss?
A woman living in a gated community in a posh Atlanta suburb was arrested for running a prostitution ring out of her house. Neighbors say she was known for throwing loud, wild parties, and for having numerous visitors drop by for brief periods of time. (Visitors with money - a session could set one back as much as $10,000.) Apparently, despite all the security this subdivision has - pro athletes and musicians apparently call this place home - she was able to run this business out of her house for some time. As long as you keep your lawn well-trimmed, live and let live is apparently the motto.
Feel free to make the obvious joke there.
And, in what promises to make this local entertainment for months to come, she kept detailed records, and the authorities are promising arrests of clients in the coming weeks. They're also planning to seize her home.
And yes, the website she uses is pretty easy to find online. Googling her stage name was one of the first parts of the investigation, and if you must - you can see it here. (Warning - link NSFW.) While her website has a place where you can schedule "dates" and "private shows", I don't think she's going to be available for a while.
Feel free to make the obvious joke there.
And, in what promises to make this local entertainment for months to come, she kept detailed records, and the authorities are promising arrests of clients in the coming weeks. They're also planning to seize her home.
And yes, the website she uses is pretty easy to find online. Googling her stage name was one of the first parts of the investigation, and if you must - you can see it here. (Warning - link NSFW.) While her website has a place where you can schedule "dates" and "private shows", I don't think she's going to be available for a while.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Ummm...that was our next plan...
Interview with Mullah Omar. It's an interesting read. In addition to the fact that his opening offer for peace talks is everyone leave and give him absolute control over Afghanistan, he also swears that they were totally about to open up schools for girls all over the place.
"But if there were problems, those were largely because of the conspiracies of the infidels and foreign enemies, for instance, the impositions of sanctions on Taliban, organizing anti- Taliban forces and preparing them to fight the mujahideen."I totally understand. I also think this world would be a paradise if everyone who thought different than me would just shut up, die, or go away.
This post is dedicated to my wife...
Group of people go a year without shopping.
Think about the environment. Think about the rampant culture of runaway consumerism.
Think about the fact that our house only has so much closet space.
Think about the environment. Think about the rampant culture of runaway consumerism.
Think about the fact that our house only has so much closet space.
This is why people get advanced degrees...
Science proves it - chicks dig jerks.
Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates [compare examples].Among the behavior now scientifically explained - Nancy Pelosi promising the highest ethical standards while letting John Conyers run the Judiciary Committee.
Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. Brad and George then would be picks for a brief romance, if not the long haul.
A question...
Would going from Britney Spears to Lindsay Lohan be trading up, or down?
Really a rhetorical question at this point, but still...
Really a rhetorical question at this point, but still...
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right...
A man's...er...let's say...fondness for female mannequins has finally caught up with him, as his habit of smashing store windows to get at them now has him facing a habitual offender charge, and a potential life sentence.
The real tragedy is there was a solution to the problem:
Not discussed is whether or not the defense is planning to explore the theory that the mannequin in question, which was wearing a French maid's outfit at the time, was leading him on.
The real tragedy is there was a solution to the problem:
Shortly before his arrest in October, Dotson had told his parole officer he was considering buying a female mannequin so he wouldn't have to commit further break-ins, Ferndale police said.Why this wasn't encouraged I'll never know.
Not discussed is whether or not the defense is planning to explore the theory that the mannequin in question, which was wearing a French maid's outfit at the time, was leading him on.
Atlanta mourns one of its most prominent residents...
I'm tired this morning...
Stayed up to watch the end of the Fiesta Bowl.
Greatest. Football. Game. Ever.
Watch the highlights of the incredible 4th quarter here, then see how it ended.
And I have to agree, the Fox guy botched Ian Johnson's proposal. "Is there anything else you wanted to say?" How freaking hard is that?
Greatest. Football. Game. Ever.
Watch the highlights of the incredible 4th quarter here, then see how it ended.
And I have to agree, the Fox guy botched Ian Johnson's proposal. "Is there anything else you wanted to say?" How freaking hard is that?
