Friday, September 29, 2006
Best. Casting. Ever.
In Marvel's "Iron Man" movie, the role of alcoholic billionaire Tony Stark will be played by Robert Downey, Jr.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Offered without comment...
Robbers hitting a local "adult entertainment" store used handcuffs from the store's shelf to restrain workers while they looted the cash register.
Go Dawgs!
Georgia basketball team's graduation rate - 9 percent. (Note to Georgia basketball players who are reading this - that's nine out of every one hundred. It's a very low number, and is considered not good.)
Oh, well, price you pay for a top-flight program, right? Sometimes the brainy stuff suffers for success on the court?
No, wait, Georgia sucks.
This is why basketball season around here is referred to as "the time between football and spring football."
Other than that, love the South.
Oh, well, price you pay for a top-flight program, right? Sometimes the brainy stuff suffers for success on the court?
No, wait, Georgia sucks.
This is why basketball season around here is referred to as "the time between football and spring football."
Other than that, love the South.
This is why coups are bad...
Thai military bans sexy girls from dancing near tanks:
Jeez, why do you think Captain Unilateral gives out those silly nicknames?
"We have to maintain the seriousness of the coup," said Lt. Gen. Palangoon Klaharn, a military spokesman.Dude, you really don't. A little levity goes a long way towards placating the populace while you slowly consolidate your total, anti-democratic deathgrip on the country.
Jeez, why do you think Captain Unilateral gives out those silly nicknames?
Childhood's end...
Something like a funny Weird Al video makes you feel like a kid again...
...and then it all comes to a screeching (no pun intended) halt when you learn that someone is trying to sell a sex video featuring Saved By The Bell's "Screech".
The world I grew up in is gone.
Call me when the Kelly video hits. I already saw the one Jessie did.
...and then it all comes to a screeching (no pun intended) halt when you learn that someone is trying to sell a sex video featuring Saved By The Bell's "Screech".
The world I grew up in is gone.
Call me when the Kelly video hits. I already saw the one Jessie did.
You're still young...
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I love Canada.
Really, I do. That said, Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay needs to stay the hell away from Condoleeza Rice.
Sure, it's all fun and games now. But a relationship with Peter MacKay can only end one way for Rice - with her running for President as a Democrat. Because apparently that's how you break up with this guy.
And after that? It gets ugly. Really ugly.
If Condi wants to date a Canadian, I'd suggest she consider Edge. He's smart, funny, good-looking (in a Cro-Magnon kind of way), and successful enough in his own field not to be threatened by Condi's high profile. One downside is he might be married, but that he hasn't let that stop him before.
Sure, it's all fun and games now. But a relationship with Peter MacKay can only end one way for Rice - with her running for President as a Democrat. Because apparently that's how you break up with this guy.
And after that? It gets ugly. Really ugly.
If Condi wants to date a Canadian, I'd suggest she consider Edge. He's smart, funny, good-looking (in a Cro-Magnon kind of way), and successful enough in his own field not to be threatened by Condi's high profile. One downside is he might be married, but that he hasn't let that stop him before.
Guess who's back?
A New York chapter of the NAACP is suing a dental clinic, claiming the clinic is discriminating against non-Jews by closing on Saturdays. Follow this - by observing the Jewish Sabbath and closing their business, the Jewish owners of the clinic are imposing their religious beliefs on those who would like the clinic open on Saturdays.
Tip to Volokh, who posted the actual complaint. It says, in part:
Spring Valley NAACP head Willie Trotman explains what he's thinking:
The hell?
Could it be?
Is it?
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Yes! It's a Montoya Award.
We've missed you, Inigo.
OK, I've missed you.
Tip to Volokh, who posted the actual complaint. It says, in part:
"The willful closing of the clinic on Saturdays serves no other business purpose than to impose the extremity of their own religious beliefs in Hasidic Judaism on the community it serves which consists of predominantly African Americans and Hispanics."As Eugene Volokh notes - presumably if the clinic were closed on Saturdays because the owners wanted to go home for the weekend, or were big college football fans, there would be no grounds to complain. But because they close on Saturdays in observance of a religious tradition, send in the lawyers. (And, incidentally, fight religious discrimination by forcing someone to act contrary to their religious faith.)
Spring Valley NAACP head Willie Trotman explains what he's thinking:
"We're not looking to divide the community. We want to bring the community together."Bringing the community together?
The hell?
Could it be?
Is it?
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Yes! It's a Montoya Award.
We've missed you, Inigo.
OK, I've missed you.
Why would anyone spend $10,000 on a crummy painting?
How about if it were painted by Adolf Hitler? I must admit, when I read the headline "Hitler's paintings go under the hammer today," I had a not-unpleasant vision of people taking mallets to his paintings, but no, they mean the auctioneer's hammer.
So, are they worth anything? I'm certainly nobody's idea of an art critic, but pretty much everyone agrees that Adolf was a pretty mediocre artist, but the auctioneers claim there is legitimate historical value in his paintings. Although they don't want to talk too much about the likelihood of ol 'Dolphy's fans buying his crappy paintings.
And Adolf's mediocre art was a huge hit, going for far more than was estimated.
This was "The Church of Preux-au-Bois," the top seller, netting $22,300. To my uneducated eye, it's not bad, if you could set aside who painted it, which you shouldn't. What it's also not is any better than paintings you could buy for a few hundred bucks at your local state fair.
A famous name sells - imagine Kevin Federline trying to get by on talent. And mass murdering assfaces can find audiences for their art - Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy both have had pieces sell. Frankly, the money would have been better spent on Kevin Federline CD's.
So, are they worth anything? I'm certainly nobody's idea of an art critic, but pretty much everyone agrees that Adolf was a pretty mediocre artist, but the auctioneers claim there is legitimate historical value in his paintings. Although they don't want to talk too much about the likelihood of ol 'Dolphy's fans buying his crappy paintings.
And Adolf's mediocre art was a huge hit, going for far more than was estimated.
This was "The Church of Preux-au-Bois," the top seller, netting $22,300. To my uneducated eye, it's not bad, if you could set aside who painted it, which you shouldn't. What it's also not is any better than paintings you could buy for a few hundred bucks at your local state fair.
A famous name sells - imagine Kevin Federline trying to get by on talent. And mass murdering assfaces can find audiences for their art - Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy both have had pieces sell. Frankly, the money would have been better spent on Kevin Federline CD's.
Won again...
I really can't figure out how I'm 2-1 with Eli Manning and Edgerrin James as my best players, but hey, whatever works.
Also, does anyone else catch themselves doing a little "Whoo-hoo!" whenver a great player you don't own gets hurt?
Also, does anyone else catch themselves doing a little "Whoo-hoo!" whenver a great player you don't own gets hurt?
Monday, September 25, 2006
So...much...stupid...
Play "Spot-the-moron" in this story. Is it:
1. The theme park offering line jumping privileges to let any customer willing to eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach;Take your time. No additional time will be provided to anyone who eats a cockroach.
2. The customers willing to do this;
3. The animal rights activists concerned about the cockroaches; or
4. All of the above?
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Weekends are for dog blogging...
My wife had some silly idea about weekends being for finally mowing the freaking yard, but with age comes wisdom, so I'm going to have to say no on that...
Here's Mishka, who's had a rough past couple of weeks, health-wise, but I'm glad to say has been feeling better. It's also nice to see someone getting some use out of our exercise equipment.
Koshka, of course, is above such things. When the urge to exercise hits, she just lays on the bed until the feeling goes away.
And, of course, Otchki was just concerned about being left out of the whole show.
Here's Mishka, who's had a rough past couple of weeks, health-wise, but I'm glad to say has been feeling better. It's also nice to see someone getting some use out of our exercise equipment.
Koshka, of course, is above such things. When the urge to exercise hits, she just lays on the bed until the feeling goes away.
And, of course, Otchki was just concerned about being left out of the whole show.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Older = Better, right?
34 isn't really that different than 33, is it? I still define it as "early thirties," and expect to reach "mid-thirties" sometime around 2010. December of 2010.
First gift of the day - a giant sombrero, courtesy of our office's regular Mexican restaurant. (When you eat there as often as we do, you don't have to give it back when they're done singing "Happy Birthday" in Spanish. Of course, I don't understand Spanish, so they may not be singing "Happy Birthday". They may just be appropriating the tune to sing about how they've watched me get fatter over the years, and don't I know they sell salads?)
Anyway, tonight is the traditional trip to Dave & Buster's, and thus will end yet another birthday. Just in time, too - I think Dawn Summers' birthday season starts next week.
First gift of the day - a giant sombrero, courtesy of our office's regular Mexican restaurant. (When you eat there as often as we do, you don't have to give it back when they're done singing "Happy Birthday" in Spanish. Of course, I don't understand Spanish, so they may not be singing "Happy Birthday". They may just be appropriating the tune to sing about how they've watched me get fatter over the years, and don't I know they sell salads?)
Anyway, tonight is the traditional trip to Dave & Buster's, and thus will end yet another birthday. Just in time, too - I think Dawn Summers' birthday season starts next week.
He who denies it...
Joe 6-pack has the explanation for that "sulphur smell" Hugo Chavez was complaining about at the UN...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
You what would have made this summer more fun?
Running for the State House. My Democratic State Representative is unopposed. I've always known that I live in a relatively blue corner of Georgia, but seriously, people, this is Cobb County, Georgia. You're telling me the State GOP couldn't have found one bozo willing to throw his hat in the ring? Should this situation be in danger of repeating itself, call me. I'm only somewhat kidding.
I never even thought to check to see who was running until I got a campaign flyer from my State Senator, the hilariously named Doug Stoner, a marginally conservative Democrat whose greatest offense is his unwillingness to have a campaign slogan like "Let's Light Up The State Senate!" or something similar. In Stoner's defense, I will allow that those jokes probably got really old many years ago. None of which excuses his opponent for his failure to adopt a slogan like "Let's Smoke Stoner!"
Also, state and local GOP web pages were no help to me finding out was even running around here. How freaking hard is it to have a section on your website that lists your damn candidates?
Oh, and about the state rep thing? Just to avoid any unpleasant surprises, I support gay marriage. I figure y'all wouldn't want to be surprised with that.
Still, better than nothing, right?
I never even thought to check to see who was running until I got a campaign flyer from my State Senator, the hilariously named Doug Stoner, a marginally conservative Democrat whose greatest offense is his unwillingness to have a campaign slogan like "Let's Light Up The State Senate!" or something similar. In Stoner's defense, I will allow that those jokes probably got really old many years ago. None of which excuses his opponent for his failure to adopt a slogan like "Let's Smoke Stoner!"
Also, state and local GOP web pages were no help to me finding out was even running around here. How freaking hard is it to have a section on your website that lists your damn candidates?
Oh, and about the state rep thing? Just to avoid any unpleasant surprises, I support gay marriage. I figure y'all wouldn't want to be surprised with that.
Still, better than nothing, right?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Animals are funny....
Panda bites drunk guy trying to give him a hug. Drunk guy bites panda back.
Welcome to our world, little panda baby. It's a world full of bitey drunks.
It's also full of guys who hide monkeys in their pants.
Which only makes sense. If you hid a monkey in your shirt, everyone would totally notice.
Welcome to our world, little panda baby. It's a world full of bitey drunks.
It's also full of guys who hide monkeys in their pants.
Which only makes sense. If you hid a monkey in your shirt, everyone would totally notice.
The UN, where crazy makes sense!
Hugo Chavez's Book Club...
He recommends everyone read "My Pet Goat" or something.
He also calls Bush "The Devil," and for a brief period was the Democrat front-runner for the 2008 Presidential nomination until somebody explained about that whole "native-born citizen" thing.
He continues:
Take a stand for principle, and give up boring old New York for the relative safety and prosperity that is the Caracas Hugo Chavez built.
We'll miss you. Really we will. But we can't do that if you don't go away.
He recommends everyone read "My Pet Goat" or something.
He also calls Bush "The Devil," and for a brief period was the Democrat front-runner for the 2008 Presidential nomination until somebody explained about that whole "native-born citizen" thing.
He continues:
And maybe we have to change location. Maybe we have to put the United Nations somewhere else; maybe a city of the south. We've proposed VenezuelaYou know, maybe I've been a little too harsh on Hugo. I mean, surely we Americans can overlook a little hyperbole during an election season?
Take a stand for principle, and give up boring old New York for the relative safety and prosperity that is the Caracas Hugo Chavez built.
We'll miss you. Really we will. But we can't do that if you don't go away.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Fantasy football vs. real football...
Won my fantasy game this week - a departure from the real world, because in the fantasy game, Eli Manning's team beat Peyton Manning's team, despite Peyton racking up huge numbers against the Houston Texans, who are essentially a decent Division I-AA team. (It's almost like drafting Peyton Manning early results in a weaker remaining lineup overall.)
In other interesting sports news, the New York Junior Yankees won the Eastern Division in the Junior American League.
In other interesting sports news, the New York Junior Yankees won the Eastern Division in the Junior American League.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Ever had a breakup this bad?
Man spends 11 years in jail for hiding millions from his ex-wife in divorce case.
As one lawyer involved in the case points out - if he'd flat out stolen the money and been convicted of theft, he'd probably be out by now.
As one lawyer involved in the case points out - if he'd flat out stolen the money and been convicted of theft, he'd probably be out by now.
I'm stunned. Really, I am.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Way ahead of you...
Health officials say: Don't eat spinach.
Where do Trent Lott and Cynthia McKinney meet?
On the list of who has the worst hair in Congress. (They're in different categories, of course, but they're still together. It's still common ground, really.)
Tip - Tapped.
Tip - Tapped.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Fantasy Football question...
The general rule - it's moronic to keep two kickers on your roster.
Current situation - I have two kickers on my roster. Should I dump the currently injured Mike Vanderjagt right now and pick up an extra QB or RB, or hang onto him until he heals and dump current starter Michael Koenen?
Current situation - I have two kickers on my roster. Should I dump the currently injured Mike Vanderjagt right now and pick up an extra QB or RB, or hang onto him until he heals and dump current starter Michael Koenen?
Would it be profiling if airport security only detained Slytherins?
J.K. Rowling nearly prevented from boarding a plane in New York because she wouldn't check the manuscript for the seventh Harry Potter book.
Chafee, Shmafee...
The real primary election result that matters was in Maryland's 7th District for the State House of Delegates, where the political career of Nikolai Volkoff was dealt a crushing blow when the former world tag team title holder finished 5th out of 5 candidates.
Once again proving - Americans cannot be trusted with democracy.
Once again proving - Americans cannot be trusted with democracy.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I don't believe in love anymore
Whitney's leaving Bobby.
If those two crazy kids couldn't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Tip - Ace.
If those two crazy kids couldn't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Tip - Ace.
Line o' the day
Comes from Shawn Macomber, who was covering former Iranian "guy who lets Ayatollah Khatami pretend Iran's kind of a democracy" Mohammed Khatami's visit to Harvard.
The quote doesn't come from anything Khatami said in his prepared remarks ("Yeah, we love America, if it were completely different. More like us, mostly.") or his give and take with students ("Yep, we kill gay people for being gay. Criticizing us about it might make George Bush appear to be right on something, so shut the hell up about it.") The quote comes from an intoxicated girl Macomber overheard while leaving the talk:
At least the drunk ones are.
The quote doesn't come from anything Khatami said in his prepared remarks ("Yeah, we love America, if it were completely different. More like us, mostly.") or his give and take with students ("Yep, we kill gay people for being gay. Criticizing us about it might make George Bush appear to be right on something, so shut the hell up about it.") The quote comes from an intoxicated girl Macomber overheard while leaving the talk:
"My bus is late because traffic is insane," she said. "Some Middle Eastern big shot is here trying to make it like we're the terrorists and his religious government that does all these crazy bad things to people is perfect. I don't know, I got the story second-hand on a barroom stool. I'm pretty buzzed."Sounds about right. Man, those Harvard kids are smart.
At least the drunk ones are.
Hey, guess how the lawyer did?
| Satan You scored 70% Pride, 52% Envy, 62% Ambition, and 55% Deceitfulness! |
| You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air, and The Dragon, among other things. Your "compatriots" in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don’t know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you "The Father of All Lies". You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn’t just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you—envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation. Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you’ve been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this. OTHER BIBLICAL VILLAINS A Child of Israel The Serpent The Phillistine Judas Iscariot Jonah The Demon The Fallen Angel The False Prophet Goliath Pharaoh King Nebuchadnezzar Caiaphas King Saul Cain The Antichrist Satan |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Tip - Brother Killer Dave Justus.
I'm not technically "tagging" anyone, but Grant and PetiteDov should totally take this test.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Thank God for Karl Rove
According to some guy facing federal charges for wire fraud, Karl Rove is having spammers arrested.
The man has mind-control powers strong enough to make Democrats believe their greatest enemy is Joe Lieberman, and he's willing to use his powers to harass spammers.
I love you, man.
The man has mind-control powers strong enough to make Democrats believe their greatest enemy is Joe Lieberman, and he's willing to use his powers to harass spammers.
I love you, man.
I totally did my homework...
Mother pleads guilty to giving her son marijuana as a reward for doing his homework.
In other news, Tommy Chong just had an idea for an educational video.
In other news, Tommy Chong just had an idea for an educational video.
A Memo
To: Phillip Rivers, "Quarterback" - San Diego Chargers.
Re: Your qualifications
My entire life, I'd been told that playing quarterback in the NFL is a difficult, complicated job that only a few elite athletes can do. After Monday, I have to respectfully disagree, at least in your case. Apparently, playing QB for the Chargers is a three step process.
Step #1 - Take ball from center.
Step #2 - Give ball to big guy in #21 jersey.
Step #3 - Get out of #21's way.
Frankly, any jackass can do that, and probably would for a lot less than $7 million a year.
Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
A guy who would have won his fantasy game if Keenan McCardell had gotten the ball a couple times, who's married to someone who would have won her fantasy game if Antonio Gates had done the same.
Re: Your qualifications
My entire life, I'd been told that playing quarterback in the NFL is a difficult, complicated job that only a few elite athletes can do. After Monday, I have to respectfully disagree, at least in your case. Apparently, playing QB for the Chargers is a three step process.
Step #1 - Take ball from center.
Step #2 - Give ball to big guy in #21 jersey.
Step #3 - Get out of #21's way.
Frankly, any jackass can do that, and probably would for a lot less than $7 million a year.
Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
A guy who would have won his fantasy game if Keenan McCardell had gotten the ball a couple times, who's married to someone who would have won her fantasy game if Antonio Gates had done the same.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Of course I know where I was
It was a nice day. Sunny, warm. I had recently moved to Atlanta, and although I wasn't gainfully employed yet, I was signed up for the February bar, and in the process of looking for work. I was happy. Very happy.
You see, nine days previous was the best day of my life. In a theater full of family and friends, I'd locked up the crazy redhead for life. It was an absolutely perfect day, and reality had yet to shed the barest shadow on joy that day brought me. Nine days later, I was awake, puttering around the house, looking at job sites, typing resumes. Oh yes, and planning to pick up my new bride from work. She had to go to the airport that afternoon. She was scheduled to fly to Washington, D.C.
I was sitting in the office when she called. "Somebody said a plane hit the World Trade Center."
OK, I have no idea what that's a metaphor for, but I'll turn on the TV. Surely it doesn't mean...
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
I turned on the TV just in time for the second hit. My wife still thought she was going to D.C. that afternoon. I thought she would only leave Atlanta over my dead body.
I picked her up around noon, and we watched the news on TV, something we never do, for the rest of the day. I remembered hearing about reports that some people actually celebrated what happened that day, but I never saw it.
Everyone posted about it today, which is good. It's that important. So read what people had to say about where they were, how they felt then, or how they feel now.
Dawn and Karol were in NYC when it happened.
Other recollections and thoughts include Mithras, Dave Justus, Crimson Joe, andPetitdov. Also, take time to read about Robert Lawrence and Jeffrey Dingle, just two of the people who lost their lives that day.
I hate that phrase actually - Robert Lawrence, Jeffrey Dingle, and the others didn't lose their lives, their lives were stolen from them. It was calculated, deliberate, and evil. The remembrances and thoughts collected aren't all ones I agree with. Not everyone drew the same lessons from 9/11 that I did, and not everyone feels the same way I do about what to do today, tomorrow, and beyond to prevent the next one from happening.
These days, when someone disagrees with you politically, you get mad. They're on the side of the terrorists, or Halliburton, or whatever. They're against America. I'm sure I've acted that way before, and I'm sure I'll act that way again. Easier than coming up with actual arguments, that's for sure. For today, and hopefully for tomorrow, I'll just read what other people felt about 9/11 and try to understand how they were affected.
Should I feel any anger, I'll save it for the bastards who planned and executed it.
And maybe a little bit for those Truther frauds.
You see, nine days previous was the best day of my life. In a theater full of family and friends, I'd locked up the crazy redhead for life. It was an absolutely perfect day, and reality had yet to shed the barest shadow on joy that day brought me. Nine days later, I was awake, puttering around the house, looking at job sites, typing resumes. Oh yes, and planning to pick up my new bride from work. She had to go to the airport that afternoon. She was scheduled to fly to Washington, D.C.
I was sitting in the office when she called. "Somebody said a plane hit the World Trade Center."
OK, I have no idea what that's a metaphor for, but I'll turn on the TV. Surely it doesn't mean...
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
I turned on the TV just in time for the second hit. My wife still thought she was going to D.C. that afternoon. I thought she would only leave Atlanta over my dead body.
I picked her up around noon, and we watched the news on TV, something we never do, for the rest of the day. I remembered hearing about reports that some people actually celebrated what happened that day, but I never saw it.
Everyone posted about it today, which is good. It's that important. So read what people had to say about where they were, how they felt then, or how they feel now.
Dawn and Karol were in NYC when it happened.
Other recollections and thoughts include Mithras, Dave Justus, Crimson Joe, andPetitdov. Also, take time to read about Robert Lawrence and Jeffrey Dingle, just two of the people who lost their lives that day.
I hate that phrase actually - Robert Lawrence, Jeffrey Dingle, and the others didn't lose their lives, their lives were stolen from them. It was calculated, deliberate, and evil. The remembrances and thoughts collected aren't all ones I agree with. Not everyone drew the same lessons from 9/11 that I did, and not everyone feels the same way I do about what to do today, tomorrow, and beyond to prevent the next one from happening.
These days, when someone disagrees with you politically, you get mad. They're on the side of the terrorists, or Halliburton, or whatever. They're against America. I'm sure I've acted that way before, and I'm sure I'll act that way again. Easier than coming up with actual arguments, that's for sure. For today, and hopefully for tomorrow, I'll just read what other people felt about 9/11 and try to understand how they were affected.
Should I feel any anger, I'll save it for the bastards who planned and executed it.
And maybe a little bit for those Truther frauds.
Friday, September 08, 2006
So...I'm guessing the whales are safe, now?
Greenpeace is coming after unsafe vibrators.
OK...maybe not the best choice of words there...
So, is the earth clean enough that they have time to take up this latest crusade, or did someone just get caught trying to expense an inappropriate item, and found a clever way out of trouble?
OK...maybe not the best choice of words there...
So, is the earth clean enough that they have time to take up this latest crusade, or did someone just get caught trying to expense an inappropriate item, and found a clever way out of trouble?
Maybe he was hoping they wouldn't notice the Lamborghini with the expired tag...
50 Cent arrested for New York for traffic violations.
New York Republican support for law enforcement threatened.
New York Republican support for law enforcement threatened.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Oh, happy day...
Today begins the sentencing of Illinois State Insect George Ryan.
The government is asking for a sentence of 8-10 years, noting that Ryan underling Scott Fawell got 6 1/2 years for charges that amount to a fraction of Ryan's corruption. The defense is claiming that Ryan's advanced age mean any real punishment would equal a life sentence, and it's not like there's a George Ryan in the White House to cut him any slack.
If you grow up in Illinois, what passes for corruption in other places can seem quaint at times. The Land of Lincoln has raised bribery to an art form, dating back practically to statehood. The best that can be said about Illinois political culture is there's an element of efficiency in the corruption. As my wife says, if you bribe an Illinois legislator to get a road fixed, your road gets fixed, which puts Illinois ahead of say, Detroit.
Whatever sentence Ryan gets won't change his efforts to spin himself as a victim of an overzealous government outraged at his clearing of Death Row in 2003. (Despite the fact that said outrage would have had to have manifested itself in 1998.) And sure, whatever your stance on the death penalty, the venal and dishonest treatment Ryan gave victims' families deserves plenty of outrage. It's unfortunate that Ryan and his supporters will use this other dishonest thing he did to try and shield the gravity of the crime he's being sentenced for.
Leaving the murderers and their victims out of this, Ryan's trial proved two things that have nothing to do with your opinion on capital punishment.
He was the governor. And he was for sale.
Throw the book at him.
Update - Sentence just handed down - 6 1/2 years, same as Fawell. Ryan's words: "
The government is asking for a sentence of 8-10 years, noting that Ryan underling Scott Fawell got 6 1/2 years for charges that amount to a fraction of Ryan's corruption. The defense is claiming that Ryan's advanced age mean any real punishment would equal a life sentence, and it's not like there's a George Ryan in the White House to cut him any slack.
"The public shaming that Ryan has endured combined with the impending loss of his pension greatly lessens the need for the court to punish through the sentencing process," Ryan's lawyers said in court papers.Lessens the need? Maybe. Lessens the fun? Not one bit.
They said Ryan "has been publicly and universally humiliated."
"It is not necessary to impose a life sentence to reflect the seriousness of the offense," they said.The governor of the 5th-largest state in the union sold his office to contributors, and remains unrepentant, just another Illinois politician doing business the way business has always been done.
If you grow up in Illinois, what passes for corruption in other places can seem quaint at times. The Land of Lincoln has raised bribery to an art form, dating back practically to statehood. The best that can be said about Illinois political culture is there's an element of efficiency in the corruption. As my wife says, if you bribe an Illinois legislator to get a road fixed, your road gets fixed, which puts Illinois ahead of say, Detroit.
Whatever sentence Ryan gets won't change his efforts to spin himself as a victim of an overzealous government outraged at his clearing of Death Row in 2003. (Despite the fact that said outrage would have had to have manifested itself in 1998.) And sure, whatever your stance on the death penalty, the venal and dishonest treatment Ryan gave victims' families deserves plenty of outrage. It's unfortunate that Ryan and his supporters will use this other dishonest thing he did to try and shield the gravity of the crime he's being sentenced for.
Leaving the murderers and their victims out of this, Ryan's trial proved two things that have nothing to do with your opinion on capital punishment.
He was the governor. And he was for sale.
Throw the book at him.
Update - Sentence just handed down - 6 1/2 years, same as Fawell. Ryan's words: "
People of this state expected better, and I let them down," Ryan said in a statement delivered to the courtroom before the sentencing.Honest?
Ryan said he was proud of his accomplishments in public life, but added that he "should've been more vigilant. Should've been more watchful. Should've been a lot more things, I guess."
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Aruba, Curacao, I wish I was there now...
...with apologies to the Beach Boys.
And speaking of beach, cruises totally rule. We boarded in San Juan, and our first stop was Oranjestad, Aruba. Oranjestad being a Dutch word meaning "tourist trap." So we sat on the privately owned beach and awed at the genuine local flavor. Or not, but hey, nobody went missing, which is makes any trip to Aruba a winner these days, right? Back on board, it's a formal dining night, which is weird, because I went on vacation to get away from wearing a tie. Afterward comes the traditional post-formal night cruise activity.
Minature golf. (Note - not a formal cruise night activity.)
Next stop was Curacao, which we really liked, and where the spouse got kissed by a girl.
You know, you hear about it, and when you finally see it happen, it's kind of underwhelming. We went swimming with sea lions, although the spouse nearly missed it because her bikini top snapped just before jumping in the water. Despite a strong voice from a fellow swimmer for her to just come in anyway (hey, dude, did I make perverted remarks about your wife? That you could hear, I mean?), she waited until one of the sea lion handlers jury-rigged something. Curacao was also where I went snorkeling with stingrays, which apparently is the most dangerous activity on earth. Just before diving, the dive instructor gave us each a bucket of fish and said the stingrays would take food right from our hands. Then he had us dive in with the stingrays. Next vacation - fly to Curacao and punch that guy in the head.
Next stop was St. Maarten, where the spouse went shopping and I collided with a shipwreck, because, you know, sunburn wasn't enough. The last stop was St. Thomas, which was just more shopping. But of course, this leaves out the real reason to go on a cruise.
You see, when you live in a state where gambling is immoral and wrong, you take your opportunities where you can get them, even if it's just one 5/10 limit Hold 'em table. I played a fair amount, ending up a little ahead - crazy redhead played just the one time, where she more than doubled up.
And, of course, the second best reason to go on a cruise...
TOWEL MONKEY!
Back to San Juan, board the flight home, pick the dogs up, and regrettably, rejoin the real world tomorrow.
And speaking of beach, cruises totally rule. We boarded in San Juan, and our first stop was Oranjestad, Aruba. Oranjestad being a Dutch word meaning "tourist trap." So we sat on the privately owned beach and awed at the genuine local flavor. Or not, but hey, nobody went missing, which is makes any trip to Aruba a winner these days, right? Back on board, it's a formal dining night, which is weird, because I went on vacation to get away from wearing a tie. Afterward comes the traditional post-formal night cruise activity.
Minature golf. (Note - not a formal cruise night activity.)
Next stop was Curacao, which we really liked, and where the spouse got kissed by a girl.
You know, you hear about it, and when you finally see it happen, it's kind of underwhelming. We went swimming with sea lions, although the spouse nearly missed it because her bikini top snapped just before jumping in the water. Despite a strong voice from a fellow swimmer for her to just come in anyway (hey, dude, did I make perverted remarks about your wife? That you could hear, I mean?), she waited until one of the sea lion handlers jury-rigged something. Curacao was also where I went snorkeling with stingrays, which apparently is the most dangerous activity on earth. Just before diving, the dive instructor gave us each a bucket of fish and said the stingrays would take food right from our hands. Then he had us dive in with the stingrays. Next vacation - fly to Curacao and punch that guy in the head.
Next stop was St. Maarten, where the spouse went shopping and I collided with a shipwreck, because, you know, sunburn wasn't enough. The last stop was St. Thomas, which was just more shopping. But of course, this leaves out the real reason to go on a cruise.
You see, when you live in a state where gambling is immoral and wrong, you take your opportunities where you can get them, even if it's just one 5/10 limit Hold 'em table. I played a fair amount, ending up a little ahead - crazy redhead played just the one time, where she more than doubled up.
And, of course, the second best reason to go on a cruise...
TOWEL MONKEY!
Back to San Juan, board the flight home, pick the dogs up, and regrettably, rejoin the real world tomorrow.
Fantasy football lineups...
Finished out the draft sheets at 11:30 last night prior to the draft today, and I think it shows. Here's the squad that has to defend my 2005 championship.
QB - Eli Manning; David Carr
RB - Edgerrin James, Reggie Bush, Mike Bell
WR - Donald Driver, Santana Moss, Keenan McCardell
TE - Randy McMichael, Dallas Clark
K - Mike Vanderjagt, Michael Koenen
D - Seahawks, Chiefs
And, should I not win the championship, a 2-12 season is acceptable if the 2 is against the crazy redhead. Here's who she got:
QB - Kurt Warner, Jake Plummer
RB - Steven Jackson, Willis McGahee, Travis Henry
WR - Nate Burleson, Plaxico Burress, Roddy White
TE - Antonio Gates, Courtney Anderson
K - Ryan Longwell, John Kasay
D - Steelers, Jets
On paper, I'm thinking uphill struggle.
QB - Eli Manning; David Carr
RB - Edgerrin James, Reggie Bush, Mike Bell
WR - Donald Driver, Santana Moss, Keenan McCardell
TE - Randy McMichael, Dallas Clark
K - Mike Vanderjagt, Michael Koenen
D - Seahawks, Chiefs
And, should I not win the championship, a 2-12 season is acceptable if the 2 is against the crazy redhead. Here's who she got:
QB - Kurt Warner, Jake Plummer
RB - Steven Jackson, Willis McGahee, Travis Henry
WR - Nate Burleson, Plaxico Burress, Roddy White
TE - Antonio Gates, Courtney Anderson
K - Ryan Longwell, John Kasay
D - Steelers, Jets
On paper, I'm thinking uphill struggle.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Back now.
Cruise good. More later.
