Friday, April 28, 2006
Note to Nancy Pelosi - this will not work for you...
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Duking it out...
The Trial of the Century, 2007 edition will be the Duke lacrosse rape case, if any trial does in fact take place. Newsweek had a pretty good roundup of the facts, as best they are known, in this story. Based on what I've read, it seems pretty apparent the victim did in fact suffer a sexual assault at some point on the night in question. The tough part is figuring out who assaulted her, since the entire Duke lacrosse team is, at present, hanging together, with many players sharing lawyers and strategy. The players aren't talking at the moment, and if/when they do, they'll most likely have their stories straight and won't have anything to say that might convict anyone of rape. On a slightly related note - here's an article that details why lacrosse players are jerks. And it appears the best that can be said about Duke's highly regarded lacrosse team was that their boorish behavior may not have included sexual assault.
The two players currently under indictment in the case have revealed portions of evidence suggesting that if something happened, they could not have been there when it did. A first round of DNA tests matched none of the players tested, and while no DNA matches does not necessarily equal innocent players, it seems unlikely that everything could have happened as described without at least some DNA being left somewhere. The victim was possibly under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or had been drugged at some point in the night. None of that means she's not a victim of assault, but it could affect her ability to accurately relate what happened or identify her attackers. TalkLeft has numerous posts detailing problems with the case.
It appears the prosecutor overplayed his hand with his extensive media blitz before the investigation was complete. His goal may have been to use the harsh light of the media to compel witnesses to come forward, but with the players sticking together, it appeared he was promising a smoking gun that never materialized. The popular claim is that the prosecutor, facing an election year challenge, rushed to show he was "doing something" to appeal to a heavily black electorate that has been sympathetic to the victim in this case.
Public reaction has been mixed, of course - because the victim is a black single mother and her alleged assailants are well-off white men, conservative law and order types are suddenly sympathetic to defendants accused of a violent crime, and more left-wing civil rights activists are supporting charges in a criminal case that has some pretty serious holes in it.
As I said, I think it's pretty likely she was, in fact, assaulted. When and by whom will be tough to prove, if the lacrosse team members continue to put protecting their buddies ahead of getting at the truth. Of course, the evidence the lawyers are willing to show us may be something different than what a jury hears.
The two players currently under indictment in the case have revealed portions of evidence suggesting that if something happened, they could not have been there when it did. A first round of DNA tests matched none of the players tested, and while no DNA matches does not necessarily equal innocent players, it seems unlikely that everything could have happened as described without at least some DNA being left somewhere. The victim was possibly under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or had been drugged at some point in the night. None of that means she's not a victim of assault, but it could affect her ability to accurately relate what happened or identify her attackers. TalkLeft has numerous posts detailing problems with the case.
It appears the prosecutor overplayed his hand with his extensive media blitz before the investigation was complete. His goal may have been to use the harsh light of the media to compel witnesses to come forward, but with the players sticking together, it appeared he was promising a smoking gun that never materialized. The popular claim is that the prosecutor, facing an election year challenge, rushed to show he was "doing something" to appeal to a heavily black electorate that has been sympathetic to the victim in this case.
Public reaction has been mixed, of course - because the victim is a black single mother and her alleged assailants are well-off white men, conservative law and order types are suddenly sympathetic to defendants accused of a violent crime, and more left-wing civil rights activists are supporting charges in a criminal case that has some pretty serious holes in it.
As I said, I think it's pretty likely she was, in fact, assaulted. When and by whom will be tough to prove, if the lacrosse team members continue to put protecting their buddies ahead of getting at the truth. Of course, the evidence the lawyers are willing to show us may be something different than what a jury hears.
And with that...
I announce that I am done with yardwork for the year.
Woman finds unexploded grenade while raking leaves.
Woman finds unexploded grenade while raking leaves.
Doing the math...
I figure Wednesday night, the average IQ of the "American Idol" finalists just went up something like 40 points.
Reggie Bush falls to 4th?
That's Bob's take on this weekend's NFL draft. I think the Texans try to find a way to trade down a couple picks, so they're not stuck between using the #1 pick on the one position where they actually have a strong player, and actually filling a need on defense or the OL with a player who could have been had a few spots down. I'm also going to guess that it's Vince Young, not Jay Cutler, who's the QB who goes surprisingly late in the 1st round. Young may be the best athlete in the draft, but of the top 3 QB's, he's going to need the most work to turn into an NFL quarterback.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The compassion of Hollywood celebrities...
Judge: OK, your choice - you can either spend time helping the less fortunate, or go to jail.
Hollywood Celebrity: Jail my ass.
Obligatory relevant Simpsons Quote -
Pulitzer Prize Giver Outer: The Pulitzer Prize for journalism goes to Mr. X. But since no one knows who he is, his cash prize will be used to feed starving children.
Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Hollywood Celebrity: Jail my ass.
Obligatory relevant Simpsons Quote -
Pulitzer Prize Giver Outer: The Pulitzer Prize for journalism goes to Mr. X. But since no one knows who he is, his cash prize will be used to feed starving children.
Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Today, someone would call it censorship...
The long-suffering Cubs fan I married is convinced the Chicago Cubs are America's Team (baseball version). Other teams can make that claim, of course - the Yankees, the Red Sox, maybe the Cardinals. (Note to Atlanta residents - I don't care how many households TBS reaches, it ain't the Braves. The Braves don't even sell out playoff games - they're barely Atlanta's team.) Of course, they all have drawbacks - as many fans hate the Yankees as love them, whereas the only ill will the Cubs ever experience is some modest resentment from White Sox fans about the North Siders' greater popularity. (And note to my fellow White Sox fans - there's no reason to hold this particular grudge anymore.) The Red Sox no longer have the lovable loser thing going for them anymore. The Cardinals lack the nationwide fan base.
The other thing the Cubs have going for them is Rick Monday. A decent player for 19 years, Monday is best known for what he did 30 years ago today - stopping a pair of idiots from burning an American flag in the outfield of Dodger Stadium during a Cubs-Dodgers game.
Say what you will about the politics of L.A. residents - visiting player or not, they gave Monday a standing ovation when he rescued the flag, and another one when he came up to bat in the next inning. They also burst into a spontaneous rendition of God Bless America. The year afterwards, the Dodgers traded for Monday, where he finished his playing career, won a World Series, and joined the Dodgers' broadcast team, where he remains to this day. He still gets letters from fans, and he was later presented with the flag itself, which he has to this day.
Does all that make the Dodgers America's Team? They've played on both coasts, they have a large fan base and a long tradition, and they have the advantage of having been to the World Series on occasion. On the other hand, the Cubs have that stupid billy goat, George Will, and Steve Bartman.
And, for a while, Rick Monday.
The other thing the Cubs have going for them is Rick Monday. A decent player for 19 years, Monday is best known for what he did 30 years ago today - stopping a pair of idiots from burning an American flag in the outfield of Dodger Stadium during a Cubs-Dodgers game.
Say what you will about the politics of L.A. residents - visiting player or not, they gave Monday a standing ovation when he rescued the flag, and another one when he came up to bat in the next inning. They also burst into a spontaneous rendition of God Bless America. The year afterwards, the Dodgers traded for Monday, where he finished his playing career, won a World Series, and joined the Dodgers' broadcast team, where he remains to this day. He still gets letters from fans, and he was later presented with the flag itself, which he has to this day.
Does all that make the Dodgers America's Team? They've played on both coasts, they have a large fan base and a long tradition, and they have the advantage of having been to the World Series on occasion. On the other hand, the Cubs have that stupid billy goat, George Will, and Steve Bartman.
And, for a while, Rick Monday.
Don't you kind of hope he was on drugs?
Guy locks himself out of his house. How to get in? Locksmith? Family member with spare key? Pshaw - the obvious thing to do is scramble naked down your chimney.
Unless of course you don't fit - then you spend five hours stuck in your chimney until the fire department shoves you down the rest of the way, and the police arrest you "on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs."
Not that it's ever a good idea to confess to a crime, but do you want people thinking that's the kind of decision you make when you're not stoned?
Unless of course you don't fit - then you spend five hours stuck in your chimney until the fire department shoves you down the rest of the way, and the police arrest you "on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs."
Not that it's ever a good idea to confess to a crime, but do you want people thinking that's the kind of decision you make when you're not stoned?
A message to law enforcement...
If you're outside the house, and you see someone punch me in the face inside the house, get your ass in the house.
A defense attorney will call this going in "willy-nilly." Fine. If someone is punching him in the face, wait until you see something bad happens.
But if it's me - get in the house.
A defense attorney will call this going in "willy-nilly." Fine. If someone is punching him in the face, wait until you see something bad happens.
But if it's me - get in the house.
Monday, April 24, 2006
It's always fun until someone loses a car...
Did Paris Hilton lose her Bentley playing poker?
I just realized something...does anyone know anybody who plays poker, who has recently protested, perhaps too much, that she does not need a new car?
Just curious, is all.
I just realized something...does anyone know anybody who plays poker, who has recently protested, perhaps too much, that she does not need a new car?
Just curious, is all.
How's that there diplomacy going?
Iranian president makes yet another "Israel is doomed" comment. And he's confident the U.N. won't do anything about it either.
Since Ahmadinejad wouldn't flick a booger off his nose if he thought it would make a Western nation happy, I submit that China is the major power with the ability to get something done here. If China wants to exert its influence with Iran for the pedestrian reasons of establishing themselves as a responsible player on the world stage and preventing a nuclear war, bully for them. If not, Bush should go the Tom Clancy route - should China not exert all the diplomatic pressure it has on Iran, Bush will 1. Recognize Taiwan as an independent nation, and 2. Start doing Falun Gong exercises. (Hey, he's a fitness buff.)
Since Ahmadinejad wouldn't flick a booger off his nose if he thought it would make a Western nation happy, I submit that China is the major power with the ability to get something done here. If China wants to exert its influence with Iran for the pedestrian reasons of establishing themselves as a responsible player on the world stage and preventing a nuclear war, bully for them. If not, Bush should go the Tom Clancy route - should China not exert all the diplomatic pressure it has on Iran, Bush will 1. Recognize Taiwan as an independent nation, and 2. Start doing Falun Gong exercises. (Hey, he's a fitness buff.)
What happens in Mexico...
...is apparently staying in Mexico. The lawsuit against Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick, for allegedly giving a woman an STD, has been resolved.
Name that...er, dog...
Cat nursing a puppy abandoned by his mother. Rejecting her own flesh and blood. What a bitch.
The story notes the puppy doesn't have a name yet.
Hmmm, what do you call a dog who's being raised by a cat? Any suggestions?
The story notes the puppy doesn't have a name yet.
Hmmm, what do you call a dog who's being raised by a cat? Any suggestions?
Friday, April 21, 2006
You know what'd be cool?
Time for summer 'splodey flicks!
Or, as Dawn Summers puts it - "see people blow shit up season!"
Here are the movies I'm looking forward to the most this summer ("summer" defined as coming out between May and August.)
Honorable Mention to The Omen - it comes out 6/6/06 - and that's just cool.
Also The Lady In The Water - I remember Signs and the Sixth Sense, so I'll probably give this a shot. But after the Village, M. Night Shyamalan is on double-secret suck probation, so this better be good.
Onto the list...
10. Superman Returns - I'm actually not that excited to see it, but it's a superhero movie, and I see pretty much all of those. (If you actually watched Elektra, you can't not give this one a shot.)
9. Clerks II - I wonder if Jay will use any profanity in this movie.
8. Mission Impossible III - OK, the star's a loon, but the first two were good, and adding Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the villian will probably not make things worse.
7. Snakes On A Plane - If you need it explained to you, never mind.
6. The Break-Up - OK, this was initially on the list of movies I would suck it up and see in the interest of preserving a happy marriage. But the trailer sold me - especially joined with the look my wife gave me when Vince Vaughn stole Jennifer Aniston's date.
5. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - The movie Herbie: Fully Loaded only dreamed of being.
4. Nacho Libre - Jack Black as a Mexican wrestling priest. The only way this movie could be any better was if he were also on a plane with snakes.
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - My wife says Jack Sparrow is sexy. Me: "Even with the dental work?" Her: "Even with the dental work." Her later that night: "Not everyone can make it work, honey. Now go brush your teeth."
2. The DaVinci Code - Misses the #1 spot cause after all the hullaballoo, I know how it turns out even though I haven't read the freaking book. Still, looks like a damn good movie, and Paul Bettany looks and acts exactly like I imagine Antonin Scalia does when he's not on the bench.
1. X-Men: The Last Stand - Soccer thug Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut. Rebecca Romijn in nothing but blue body paint. The addition of Angel, Beast, and Psylocke, among others. There probably won't be any room for a plot, but it's not going to matter.
Here are the movies I'm looking forward to the most this summer ("summer" defined as coming out between May and August.)
Honorable Mention to The Omen - it comes out 6/6/06 - and that's just cool.
Also The Lady In The Water - I remember Signs and the Sixth Sense, so I'll probably give this a shot. But after the Village, M. Night Shyamalan is on double-secret suck probation, so this better be good.
Onto the list...
10. Superman Returns - I'm actually not that excited to see it, but it's a superhero movie, and I see pretty much all of those. (If you actually watched Elektra, you can't not give this one a shot.)
9. Clerks II - I wonder if Jay will use any profanity in this movie.
8. Mission Impossible III - OK, the star's a loon, but the first two were good, and adding Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the villian will probably not make things worse.
7. Snakes On A Plane - If you need it explained to you, never mind.
6. The Break-Up - OK, this was initially on the list of movies I would suck it up and see in the interest of preserving a happy marriage. But the trailer sold me - especially joined with the look my wife gave me when Vince Vaughn stole Jennifer Aniston's date.
5. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - The movie Herbie: Fully Loaded only dreamed of being.
4. Nacho Libre - Jack Black as a Mexican wrestling priest. The only way this movie could be any better was if he were also on a plane with snakes.
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - My wife says Jack Sparrow is sexy. Me: "Even with the dental work?" Her: "Even with the dental work." Her later that night: "Not everyone can make it work, honey. Now go brush your teeth."
2. The DaVinci Code - Misses the #1 spot cause after all the hullaballoo, I know how it turns out even though I haven't read the freaking book. Still, looks like a damn good movie, and Paul Bettany looks and acts exactly like I imagine Antonin Scalia does when he's not on the bench.
1. X-Men: The Last Stand - Soccer thug Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut. Rebecca Romijn in nothing but blue body paint. The addition of Angel, Beast, and Psylocke, among others. There probably won't be any room for a plot, but it's not going to matter.
Who wants to be a Millionaire?
How bout a do-over?
Melissa Mills was four months pregnant when Renaldo Adams broke into their home. Threatening Mrs. Mills with a knife, Adams ordered her husband Andrew to go to an ATM and get money, in addition to stealing cash and jewelry from the home. When Mr. Mills was getting help, his wife was raped and murdered. The couple's three children were in the home while this occurred. Renaldo Adams was convicted, and sentenced to death, and no court ever found any reversible error in Adams prosecution.
In March of 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court decided Roper v. Simmons, ruling that anyone under 18 at the time of their crime could not receive a death sentence, even if legally culpable as an adult. At the time he raped and killed Melissa Mills, Adams was 17. The Alabama Supreme Court issued a very brief opinion stating basically - the Supremes say he can't be executed - his death sentence is vacated. One Alabama Supreme Court justice did not participate in this decision - Tom Parker assisted in Adams' prosecution, and recused himself. He did not, however, remain silent - he wrote a strongly worded op-ed criticising the Alabama Supreme Court for refusing to take a stand and challenge Roper. Judge Parker took a fair amount of heat for essentially encouraging the Alabama Supreme Court to rule contrary to established precedent - it's not like Roper is unclear, after all. In response, Parker points out that defying Supreme Court precedent is exactly what led to Roper - and he's right - the Missouri Supreme Court's ruling on Roper was contrary to what the U.S. Supreme Court had held several years prior - and they didn't change their holding until a state supreme court challenged them to do so. The Alabama Attorney General is now asking the Supremes to reconsider Roper.
The call to reconsider comes fairly quickly, and not without reason - the longer a precedent stands, the less likely it will be reversed. There really isn't much hope of a reversal, however, as SCOTUSBlog points out - the two Justices who retired since Roper were both dissenters, and it's unlikely any of the five Roper justices would essentially author an opinion stating - "my bad." Of course, if Alito and Roberts joined Scalia and Thomas in putting the case on the docket, the Roper majority would once again face a case where a guilty defendant got a fair trial - and they undo the jury's work anyway.
Andrew Mills would like to see that sentence carried out, but he's not optimistic. A court that never heard the facts of his wife's murder has nevertheless found it the jury couldn't be trusted to consider the possibility that "the juvenile offender's objective immaturity, vulnerability, and lack of true depravity should require a sentence less severe than death." And Justices Kennedy, Stevens, Ginsberg, Souter, and Breyer almost certainly don't think they're wrong about that. (Even though they cited the argument that juries rarely apply the death penalty to 17 year olds, even when eligible, as proof that the nation no longer believes in the practice.)
Tip - How Appealing
In March of 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court decided Roper v. Simmons, ruling that anyone under 18 at the time of their crime could not receive a death sentence, even if legally culpable as an adult. At the time he raped and killed Melissa Mills, Adams was 17. The Alabama Supreme Court issued a very brief opinion stating basically - the Supremes say he can't be executed - his death sentence is vacated. One Alabama Supreme Court justice did not participate in this decision - Tom Parker assisted in Adams' prosecution, and recused himself. He did not, however, remain silent - he wrote a strongly worded op-ed criticising the Alabama Supreme Court for refusing to take a stand and challenge Roper. Judge Parker took a fair amount of heat for essentially encouraging the Alabama Supreme Court to rule contrary to established precedent - it's not like Roper is unclear, after all. In response, Parker points out that defying Supreme Court precedent is exactly what led to Roper - and he's right - the Missouri Supreme Court's ruling on Roper was contrary to what the U.S. Supreme Court had held several years prior - and they didn't change their holding until a state supreme court challenged them to do so. The Alabama Attorney General is now asking the Supremes to reconsider Roper.
The call to reconsider comes fairly quickly, and not without reason - the longer a precedent stands, the less likely it will be reversed. There really isn't much hope of a reversal, however, as SCOTUSBlog points out - the two Justices who retired since Roper were both dissenters, and it's unlikely any of the five Roper justices would essentially author an opinion stating - "my bad." Of course, if Alito and Roberts joined Scalia and Thomas in putting the case on the docket, the Roper majority would once again face a case where a guilty defendant got a fair trial - and they undo the jury's work anyway.
Andrew Mills would like to see that sentence carried out, but he's not optimistic. A court that never heard the facts of his wife's murder has nevertheless found it the jury couldn't be trusted to consider the possibility that "the juvenile offender's objective immaturity, vulnerability, and lack of true depravity should require a sentence less severe than death." And Justices Kennedy, Stevens, Ginsberg, Souter, and Breyer almost certainly don't think they're wrong about that. (Even though they cited the argument that juries rarely apply the death penalty to 17 year olds, even when eligible, as proof that the nation no longer believes in the practice.)
Tip - How Appealing
Things you wish you could do, but shouldn't.
Here's a funny letter sent and personally signed by Congresswoman Jo Ann Emerson (R-Missouri). The last sentence of the letter - "I think you're an asshole."
Best part - Congresswoman has no idea how that phrase got into her letter.
Congressional correspondence is not a field that encourages complete honesty, unfortunately. Everyone is told something like "thank you for taking the time to express your concerns," or something, but if you've ever had the opportunity to read a representative cross-section of the mail a Congressman gets, sometimes you're really not that grateful. Unless they're writing to inform you about a CIA conspiracy or something like that. Then the Congressman's staff is thrilled, because you've given them a story they can tell their friends.
Tip - Tapped.
Best part - Congresswoman has no idea how that phrase got into her letter.
Congressional correspondence is not a field that encourages complete honesty, unfortunately. Everyone is told something like "thank you for taking the time to express your concerns," or something, but if you've ever had the opportunity to read a representative cross-section of the mail a Congressman gets, sometimes you're really not that grateful. Unless they're writing to inform you about a CIA conspiracy or something like that. Then the Congressman's staff is thrilled, because you've given them a story they can tell their friends.
Tip - Tapped.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
This probably won't work in your place of business...
But just so you know, as a matter of fact, sometimes (like if you write for Friends) telling dirty jokes and trading stories of sexual exploits is actually a legitimate workplace requirement.
The actual decision can be read here.
The actual decision can be read here.
Admit it. You kind of want to invade, just to see if he's serious...
Hugo Chavez threatens to destroy Venezuela's oil fields if the U.S. invades.
That's right, folks, if the U.S. invades, Chavez will wreck the country and condemn his people to poverty.
And if the U.S. doesn't invade, Chavez will...ummm...it's totally different, we swear.
Link via Publius.
That's right, folks, if the U.S. invades, Chavez will wreck the country and condemn his people to poverty.
And if the U.S. doesn't invade, Chavez will...ummm...it's totally different, we swear.
Link via Publius.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Unfortunately named business whose logo I saw on my ride home today...
"Camel Towing."
Well, it's a novel idea...
Defense lawyers in a criminal case file a motion asking the judge to order a fist fight between them and the prosecutors.
The actual motion, and the prosecutor's actual response, is here.
Tip - Southern Appeal.
Note to defense bar - Bring it.
The actual motion, and the prosecutor's actual response, is here.
Tip - Southern Appeal.
Note to defense bar - Bring it.
Just so we're clear...
Gilbert Gottfried and I are not the same person.
I, for one, am totally sexier than Osama Bin Laden. And maybe Roger Ebert.
I, for one, am totally sexier than Osama Bin Laden. And maybe Roger Ebert.
Monday, April 17, 2006
GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! (Repeat 19 more times)
Illinois State Insect George Ryan convicted on all 22 counts of racketeering, fraud, obstruction, and various other legal ways of calling someone a bribe-taking crook.
22 out of 22! That's like super double extra-guilty with a side of guilty fries and guilty pie for dessert!
(Uh-uh. And given that anyone who's read like two posts of yours knows how much you hate the guy, who will be the target of your wrath now that he's gone? Ed.)
Probably Dawn Summers, for posting about it before I could.
22 out of 22! That's like super double extra-guilty with a side of guilty fries and guilty pie for dessert!
(Uh-uh. And given that anyone who's read like two posts of yours knows how much you hate the guy, who will be the target of your wrath now that he's gone? Ed.)
Probably Dawn Summers, for posting about it before I could.
Friday, April 14, 2006
So, she's an apostate now and it's all right to kill her, right?
Katie Holmes successfully brainwashed by lunatic midget:
Asked whether their baby would be given a Catholic baptism, he said: "You can be Catholic and a Scientologist. You can be Jewish and be a Scientologist. But we're just Scientologists."This probably happened because South Park showed an image of Tom Cruise awhile back.
"Katie, too?" Sawyer asked.
"Katie, too," Cruise replied.
Cruise denied reports the couple's relationship had caused tension with Holmes' family, who are devout Catholics.
Asked if they approved of her switch to Scientology, he said: "Absolutely, yes."
Why I am never moving to Florida...
Reason #1 has always been Florida has no recipriocity for out-of-state lawyers, and four bar exams is enough for one lifetime.
We now have reason #2 why I'm never moving to Florida - I'm not paying an iguana tax.
Let the iguanas pay the iguana tax. I'll pay the Gib tax.
We now have reason #2 why I'm never moving to Florida - I'm not paying an iguana tax.
Let the iguanas pay the iguana tax. I'll pay the Gib tax.
Three words that guarantee clicking on a link...
Thursday, April 13, 2006
A logistical question?
OK, this couple faked having sextuplets to get people to give them gifts. Now, I get how you can fake being pregnant with sextuplets - I mean, anyone qualified to look in there and prove you wrong has confidentiality issues.
But afterwards, how do you keep up the scam?
"Look, it's little Billy! The others? Ummm...sure, but I can only bring them out one at a time..."
But afterwards, how do you keep up the scam?
"Look, it's little Billy! The others? Ummm...sure, but I can only bring them out one at a time..."
Invade Nepal...
They're shooting lawyers now.
This cannot stand - if one country gets away with it, you know all the others are going to want to get in on this one.
This cannot stand - if one country gets away with it, you know all the others are going to want to get in on this one.
The future of America is looking bright...
Ummm....there's no easy way to summarize this one:
Keep in mind, though, that as a sophomore, you're still only taking introductory level ninja classes. The ability to sneak by an ATF agent is graduate-level work.
University of Georgia sophomore Jeremiah Ransom learned both lessons the hard way Tuesday when he sprinted from a ninja-pirate party given by a campus Christian organization to the dining hall wearing a red bandanna across his face.Net result?
Agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, attending a conference on campus, spotted the masked student and gave chase.
Keep in mind, though, that as a sophomore, you're still only taking introductory level ninja classes. The ability to sneak by an ATF agent is graduate-level work.
The surreal life...
This Michael Yon post has a part where he reports about the days when the Taliban ruled Afghanistan:
Tip - Cake or Death.
Although television was eventually banned there, many of the Taliban were fanatical about pro wrestling. Steve looks like a wrestler, and he’d sometimes wear wrestling T-shirts which often prompted the Taliban guards to ask for updates on their favorites. The Undertaker was particularly popular there. “They might be fanatics,” he told me, “but they are simple folk.”I'll say. The Undertaker isn't the wrestler he used to be. But point out the superior workrate of a Super Crazy or the incomparable delivery of a William Regal and they'd probably have you shot.
Tip - Cake or Death.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
New to me...
A hilarious post about how the media today would cover the Passover story.
I'm guessing they finally heard "PopoZao"
Child Welfare services pays a visit to Britney and Kevin.
On an unrelated note - Ace doing "We Will Rock You?" Show me where I can download Tiny Tim singing "Enter Sandman" while you're at it, why don't you?
On an unrelated note - Ace doing "We Will Rock You?" Show me where I can download Tiny Tim singing "Enter Sandman" while you're at it, why don't you?
Monday, April 10, 2006
Sorry I can't be there...
Atlanta is one of the places today hosting a large demonstration in support of my right to cheat on my taxes if I want. OK, that's not the stated purpose of the march, which is actually supporting legalizing the status of illegal immigrants, but I can read between the lines. After all, the only reason people sneak into this country illegally is to build a better life for their families. And if I could pay less (or better yet, nothing) in taxes, I too, could build a better life for my family. And, tax laws are voluminous, complex, and can often appear arbitrary in application, much like immigration laws. The idea being advocated today, that breaking U.S. law to improve your economic situation isn't really, you know, lawbreaking has many applications that all Americans can take advantage of.
(Note to spouse, who does the taxes for our particular family unit. I'm kidding.)
I just watched a local news story on the Atlanta march, one of several taking place across the country today. Despite claiming that there was nothing wrong with displaying other countries' flags while asking for a change in U.S. law, apparently most everyone got the memo about what country to try and impress - the Republican convention doesn't have this much red, white, & blue.
Personally, I'm OK with some form of compromise - people already here can stay if they pay a big-ass fine and haven't been convicted of any serious crime. (Definitions of "big-ass fine" and "serious crime" to be sorted out by duly elected officials who really don't want to appear soft on crime come the next election.) In return for this pragmatic endorsement of lawbreaking, I'd want some assurance this is the last freaking time we have to do this. What form this assurance takes doesn't really concern me, as long as it's reliable. For instance, a simple assurance would be a clear declaration from Mexico that illegal border crossers are scorned as lawbreakers and bad neighbors - community standards are as good a control as we're likely to get. Public opinion polls suggest this is unlikely. So this leaves external controls, ranging from building a wall to penalizing the heck out of either illegals discovered in this country, or the employers who hire them. Our lawmakers should feel free to pick any border control they want, provided they're willing to stake their re-election on it actually holding.
Cause surely one thing we can all agree on - we don't want to have this discussion again in twenty years.
(Note to spouse, who does the taxes for our particular family unit. I'm kidding.)
I just watched a local news story on the Atlanta march, one of several taking place across the country today. Despite claiming that there was nothing wrong with displaying other countries' flags while asking for a change in U.S. law, apparently most everyone got the memo about what country to try and impress - the Republican convention doesn't have this much red, white, & blue.
Personally, I'm OK with some form of compromise - people already here can stay if they pay a big-ass fine and haven't been convicted of any serious crime. (Definitions of "big-ass fine" and "serious crime" to be sorted out by duly elected officials who really don't want to appear soft on crime come the next election.) In return for this pragmatic endorsement of lawbreaking, I'd want some assurance this is the last freaking time we have to do this. What form this assurance takes doesn't really concern me, as long as it's reliable. For instance, a simple assurance would be a clear declaration from Mexico that illegal border crossers are scorned as lawbreakers and bad neighbors - community standards are as good a control as we're likely to get. Public opinion polls suggest this is unlikely. So this leaves external controls, ranging from building a wall to penalizing the heck out of either illegals discovered in this country, or the employers who hire them. Our lawmakers should feel free to pick any border control they want, provided they're willing to stake their re-election on it actually holding.
Cause surely one thing we can all agree on - we don't want to have this discussion again in twenty years.
Will they take a check?
Some guy in Malaysia gets a $218 trillion phone bill. I love this line:
There's another possibility, I suppose - and all I can say is I hope he was in fact able to meet some very attractive singles living right there in his area.
On a side note, as a way to relieve the national debt, let me ask my local Congressman to introduce a bill instructing the U.S. to set up a Malasyian phone company.
It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after after his death.Maybe not a mistake? There's a way you can actually run up a $218 trillion phone bill? Does he have friends on Neptune?
There's another possibility, I suppose - and all I can say is I hope he was in fact able to meet some very attractive singles living right there in his area.
On a side note, as a way to relieve the national debt, let me ask my local Congressman to introduce a bill instructing the U.S. to set up a Malasyian phone company.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Does a Monotya Award count as a provocation?
Probably not, but wouldn't it be cool if it did?
Anyway, William Brownfield holds a truly thankless job, that of U.S. Ambassador to Venezuela. Earlier this week, while donating some baseball equipment to a youth league, Brownfield's car was attacked by a group of Hugo Chavez supporters, who pounded on his car and threw eggs at it, while police tasked with the protection of the diplomat stood by.
Hugo Chavez later commented on the matter:
He was donating baseball equipment to a youth league.
Hugo Chavez, for your definition of the word "provoking," we introduce you to that hero of the Bolivaran Revolution, Inigo Montoya.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Anyway, William Brownfield holds a truly thankless job, that of U.S. Ambassador to Venezuela. Earlier this week, while donating some baseball equipment to a youth league, Brownfield's car was attacked by a group of Hugo Chavez supporters, who pounded on his car and threw eggs at it, while police tasked with the protection of the diplomat stood by.
Hugo Chavez later commented on the matter:
"I'm going to throw you out of Venezuela if you continue provoking the Venezuelan people," Chavez said in a nationally televised speech addressed to Brownfield.First off, let me suggest the sane way to get ahold of the Ambassador is to call the U.S. embassy, rather than give a long TV speech and hope he's not watching his TiVo'ed episode of American Idol. (Can you believe they booted Mandisa?) Second, reread what Brownfield was doing that Your Socialist Hero, Hugo Chavez, defines as "provoking."
He was donating baseball equipment to a youth league.
Hugo Chavez, for your definition of the word "provoking," we introduce you to that hero of the Bolivaran Revolution, Inigo Montoya.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Friday, April 07, 2006
And why are our prisons full?
All together now - because criminals are stupid, stupid people.
Today's exercise will consider who's dumber - Candidate #1 is the guy who was in a hurry to get to court on his car theft charge, so he drove a stolen car to court.
Candidate #2 is the guy who thought it would be cool to do a drive-by grabbing of a jogger's ass. The jogger turned out to be a sheriff's deputy.
The sad part is - with criminal records, they might not be able to get into America's finer med schools.
Today's exercise will consider who's dumber - Candidate #1 is the guy who was in a hurry to get to court on his car theft charge, so he drove a stolen car to court.
Candidate #2 is the guy who thought it would be cool to do a drive-by grabbing of a jogger's ass. The jogger turned out to be a sheriff's deputy.
The sad part is - with criminal records, they might not be able to get into America's finer med schools.
Europe standing firm...
...cuts off aid to the Hamas-led Palestinian government.
The Palestinians have clearly, freely, and fairly voted for people the U.S. and Europe can't do business with. No business it is.
Mr. (Palestinian prime minister Ismail) Haniya criticized the Europeans' cutoff of aid, saying they were "punishing the Palestinian people for practicing" a democratic choice.OK, democracy is a new concept in Hamas-land - but once again, it doesn't mean you get your way no matter what. Some people the world will do business with, and some peopele they won't. You can vote for the latter group, but in addition to whatever you vote for, you're voting not to do business.
The Palestinians have clearly, freely, and fairly voted for people the U.S. and Europe can't do business with. No business it is.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Heh Heh...
Not too long ago, human rights activists basically begged the U.N. not to prove John Bolton's point by putting anyone really bad on the new U.N. Human Rights Council.
Well, the first group of nations seeking seats seemed fairly innocuous. Pakistan and Algeria have issues, of course, but all in all, could be worse.
Here comes the gauntlet. Cuba has now put in for a spot.
Also in the running? Iran.
The U.S., by the way, will apparently opt out of this little exercise. It should be a fun little party on May 9, when the world votes on its guardians of human rights. The totalitarian model of human rights holds that the most important rights are the right to food and shelter. In effect, this means the government gives you a nickel, prevents you from earning a dollar, and shoots you if you bitch about it, cause bitching may jeopardize future nickel distribution. Endorsing this model would be a cathartic thumb in the eye to U.S. imperialists.
It would also prove said imperialists were pretty much dead on about the usefulness of the U.N., but hey, democracy is all about compromise and tradeoffs, right?
Just ask Cuba.
Well, the first group of nations seeking seats seemed fairly innocuous. Pakistan and Algeria have issues, of course, but all in all, could be worse.
Here comes the gauntlet. Cuba has now put in for a spot.
Chief among the "tremendous achievements' Cuba had to show the world, it said, was "the full exercise of its right to self-determination, facing the grave obstacles and threats derived from the unilateral policy of hostility, aggression and blockade imposed on it by the superpower.""Self-determination" by the way, should not be confused with any rights of the Cuban people to determine anything about their nation themselves.
Also in the running? Iran.
The U.S., by the way, will apparently opt out of this little exercise. It should be a fun little party on May 9, when the world votes on its guardians of human rights. The totalitarian model of human rights holds that the most important rights are the right to food and shelter. In effect, this means the government gives you a nickel, prevents you from earning a dollar, and shoots you if you bitch about it, cause bitching may jeopardize future nickel distribution. Endorsing this model would be a cathartic thumb in the eye to U.S. imperialists.
It would also prove said imperialists were pretty much dead on about the usefulness of the U.N., but hey, democracy is all about compromise and tradeoffs, right?
Just ask Cuba.
No, she didn't.
Story headline - McKinney apologizes on House Floor.
It was McKinney, she was on the House Floor, and she did use the word "apologize," but she didn't actually apologize to anyone or for anything. Which may be the smart thing to do, since there is still a grand jury sorting out whether to charge her with a crime, but it ain't an apology.
Hey, if you want to say a dispute was the other guy's fault, go right ahead. But it ain't an apology.
It was McKinney, she was on the House Floor, and she did use the word "apologize," but she didn't actually apologize to anyone or for anything. Which may be the smart thing to do, since there is still a grand jury sorting out whether to charge her with a crime, but it ain't an apology.
"There should not have been any physical contact in this incident," McKinney, surrounded by a handful of lawmakers, said.Since everyone agrees the first physical contact was when the officer grabbed her after she failed to respond to three requests to stop, the first statement is blaming the cop. The second statement, read in connection with the first, is also blaming the cop for the escalation.
"I am sorry this misunderstanding happened at all and I regret its escalation and I apologize," McKinney said, drawing applause from the partially-filled chamber.
Hey, if you want to say a dispute was the other guy's fault, go right ahead. But it ain't an apology.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The commandments...
1. Thou shalt not kill.
2. Thou shalt not steal.
3. Thou shalt not mess with thy local prosecutor, because he will rip your arm from its socket.
There are other commandments, of course, but those are the big ones.
2. Thou shalt not steal.
3. Thou shalt not mess with thy local prosecutor, because he will rip your arm from its socket.
There are other commandments, of course, but those are the big ones.
If only there were something they could do...
Palestinian PM says government is broke.
Darn shame, too, that there isn't some diplomatic action they could take that would inspire nations to uncork the aid tap.
You know who I blame for this?
The U.S. Capitol Police Department.
Darn shame, too, that there isn't some diplomatic action they could take that would inspire nations to uncork the aid tap.
You know who I blame for this?
The U.S. Capitol Police Department.
Probably not going to be as big a story...
Another female teacher has been arrested for a sexual relationship with an underage student. The most recent high-profile case involving similar conduct saw prosecutors dismiss the charge rather than force the victim to testify when a judge rejected a plea bargain that would have kept the defendant out of prison. And while every case is different than every other criminal case, there is one difference that merits some notice.
This is the current defendant, facing many very serious charges carrying potentially lenghty prison terms.
And this is the teacher who ultimately got her charges dropped, but was originally also risking serious prison time. (She got probation on a similar case in another county.)
Her lawyer once claimed, with a presumably straight face, that she was too hot for prison.
Given that one may be less likely to make the obligatory "where were teachers like that when I was in school?" joke, one wonders how different the ultimate resolution will turn out to be.
This is the current defendant, facing many very serious charges carrying potentially lenghty prison terms.
And this is the teacher who ultimately got her charges dropped, but was originally also risking serious prison time. (She got probation on a similar case in another county.)
Her lawyer once claimed, with a presumably straight face, that she was too hot for prison.
Given that one may be less likely to make the obligatory "where were teachers like that when I was in school?" joke, one wonders how different the ultimate resolution will turn out to be.
What if the dumb one in class is the teacher?
Teacher uses 40 mm shell to squish bug - shell explodes - teacher loses part of hand.
Bet he got the bug, though. My stapler's not nearly as effective.
Bet he got the bug, though. My stapler's not nearly as effective.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Cynthia McKinney wants to be arrested
She wants it very badly, and she's doing everything in her power to make it happen.
First things first, the Capitol Police are not there to hassle or arrest Members of Congress. It's not their mission. Nobody wants to charge a Member with a crime, no matter how large said Member's sense of entitlement may be. The whole McKinney affair would have been the easiest thing in the world to make go away. And, at first, that seemed to be how McKinney was playing it:
And I'm just as confident that opportunity doesn't exist anymore.
The U.S. Attorney could, of course, see things McKinney's way. (Doesn't seem likely, though - there are apparently several witnesses who saw the officer tell McKinney to stop three times without success before he placed a hand on her, after which she struck him.) But if they don't have an out anymore - if McKinney isn't charged, it will be taken as validating her claims, and probably lead to demands for the officer's scalp.
I'm sure McKinney is having a blast - she gets to hear how courageous and brave she is from famous and important people and see her face on the news, which it hasn't been for awhile. And we don't have to talk about how little she actually does - take a look at what she considers her major projects this term - it includes investigating the possibility that the FBI killed Tupac. Also, take a look at what's prominently featured on McKinney's home page - a link to a 2003 story about alleged discrimination at the Capitol Police Department - published by the Final Call. Don't take my word for it - look around at Minister Farrakhan's paper of record - and draw your own conclusion on whether or not someone who cites them approvingly would know racism if it bit them in the ass.
McKinney is loving every second of this. If she doesn't get charged, she can claim it as proof that she has uncovered the racist institution that is the Capitol Police. If she does get charged, she'll get her very own media circus. And she'll probably get re-elected either way.
First things first, the Capitol Police are not there to hassle or arrest Members of Congress. It's not their mission. Nobody wants to charge a Member with a crime, no matter how large said Member's sense of entitlement may be. The whole McKinney affair would have been the easiest thing in the world to make go away. And, at first, that seemed to be how McKinney was playing it:
I know that Capitol Hill Police are securing our safety, that of thousands of others, and I appreciate the work that they do. I deeply regret that the incident occurred. I have demonstrated my support for them in the past and I continue to support them now.Not accepting responsibility, exactly, but not blaming the cop either. With a posture like this, there was a strong possibility the police might not pursue charges, or that the prosecutor would consider not filing. Because whatever one might think of McKinney - she's not really a threat to anything except rational discourse. Had she wanted this to be treated as an honest misunderstanding that should fade into oblivion, I'm confident the opportunity existed.
And I'm just as confident that opportunity doesn't exist anymore.
"This whole incident was instigated by the inappropriate touching and stopping of me, a female black congresswoman."It's definitely not an honest misunderstanding by an officer trying to do his job:
"The issue is racial profiling," McKinney, who is black, told CNN.The issue is now framed thusly: Either Cynthia McKinney assaulted a police officer, or she is the innocent victim of a racist police officer, that quite frankly, is fairly representative of the Capitol Police as an institution.
The U.S. Attorney could, of course, see things McKinney's way. (Doesn't seem likely, though - there are apparently several witnesses who saw the officer tell McKinney to stop three times without success before he placed a hand on her, after which she struck him.) But if they don't have an out anymore - if McKinney isn't charged, it will be taken as validating her claims, and probably lead to demands for the officer's scalp.
I'm sure McKinney is having a blast - she gets to hear how courageous and brave she is from famous and important people and see her face on the news, which it hasn't been for awhile. And we don't have to talk about how little she actually does - take a look at what she considers her major projects this term - it includes investigating the possibility that the FBI killed Tupac. Also, take a look at what's prominently featured on McKinney's home page - a link to a 2003 story about alleged discrimination at the Capitol Police Department - published by the Final Call. Don't take my word for it - look around at Minister Farrakhan's paper of record - and draw your own conclusion on whether or not someone who cites them approvingly would know racism if it bit them in the ass.
McKinney is loving every second of this. If she doesn't get charged, she can claim it as proof that she has uncovered the racist institution that is the Capitol Police. If she does get charged, she'll get her very own media circus. And she'll probably get re-elected either way.
Tell me you wouldn't vote for her...
Monday, April 03, 2006
Slobo is looking up and smiling...
But at least he isn't smiling for long, as someone jabs a pitchfork in his ass pretty quick. Still, it's apparent former Liberian ghoul-in-chief Charles Taylor was paying attention during Milosevic's four year long seminar in how to deal with "international law."
Taylor at first told the court he could not enter a plea because he did not recognize its right to try him. But he went on to tell Justice Richard Lussick "I did not and could not have" committed the atrocities that allegedly occurred during Sierra Leone's civil war.He also asked his lawyers to try and get Alan Dershowitz to represent him. Hey, we can't all have Ramsey Clark, I guess.
