Crosblog

Did you think you could live a full and complete life without seeing Barry Bonds dressed up as Paula Abdul?

So did I.

But can you live a full and complete life after seeing Barry Bonds dressed up as Paula Abdul?

Let's find out.

Anyone who votes for Brenna has no chance of making it into my will.

And I have some cool stuff.

Hamas isn't going to change it's mind re: Israel, etc, preferring to wait until Israel gives them nearly everything they want before they'll discuss compromising on the rest.

Which, though morally wrong, is a perfectly reasonable tactic to adopt. After all, it ain't like anyone's going to hold their feet to the fire or anything. Sure, the loss of foreign aid looms large, and has the potential to greatly harm the Palestinians' quality of life, but it's not like anyone's going to explore the "root causes" of Western unwillingness to fund Hamas. The West will simply be blamed.

In an interview in his city hall office, (Qalqiyla Mayor) Masri said the collapse of income will eventually tug his municipality back into poverty. He said the United States is to blame for "pushing the rest of the world to impoverish the Palestinians."

If Hamas isn't held responsible, why change?

Of course from a Western perspective, if everything that goes wrong is going to be my fault, whether I give you money or not, I'd rather just keep the money. Then I can use it to download music and drown out the complaining.

When people there are fleeing to Darfur.

This one.

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

Tip - Dave "City of Angels" Justus.

Osama Bin Laden "doesn't mind" being hugged.

He does not, however, like being kissed. It gave him a reputation as a tease, so he decided to swear off.

Oh, and the lace thong he wears under his robe? Strictly a comfort thing, so you can stop reading anything into that right now, thank you very much.

U.N. has a plan to redraw the Human Rights Commission. Said plan has upset Stone Cold John Bolton, however Cuba and Zimbabwe seem okey-dokey with it, so hey, it can't be all bad.

Anne Bayefsky, who I'm amazed is even allowed in the U.N. building, points out the basic flaw of the new Council rules - there are no mechanisms to keep places like the Sudan, Cuba, Zimbabwe, China, etc. off the council, which such nations currently use as a vehicle to pretend the only thing wrong in the world is those damn Jews.

Amnesty International is supporting the proposal. Regarding the need to keep Robert Mugabe from deciding what constitutes "repression," please note Amnesty's take on the matter:

Moreover, the resolution establishes an election procedure, which if taken seriously by UN member states, can give the Council a membership much more committed to the promotion and protection of human rights than the Commission on Human Rights in recent years.

Because the current history of electing states to the Human Rights council demonstrates UN Member states taking seriously the need to keep bastards off the commission.

It's not that I don't enjoy watching Bolton pass out the diplomatic Stone Cold Stunners, but I think the better practice would be to just tell the UN that we'd prefer a Human Rights Commission that restricted its membership to nations that had a free press and the means to peacefully replace their leaders. (Note - these minor criteria would allow for the election of plenty of nations who spend all their time bitching about the U.S., so take your court-packing argument elsewhere, thank you very much.) Then note that the UN can, of course, set up whatever system they like, and note that once they've done so - the U.S. will determine how seriously to take the U.N. (And, of course, how seriously we encourage our allies - small, Middle Eastern, democratic allies, let's say - to take the UN.)

Rest in peace, Deputy Fife.

With the thanks of a grateful Mayberry for keeping the streets safe from...well, Otis.

R. Kelly's name is now officially a verb meaning to have sex with an underage girl.

Of course, per the story, the term's definition is not yet admissible in court, at least not in California. I wonder, is there a Daubert or Frye test for the admissibility of slang? (Supreme Court cases that deal with the admissibility of scientific evidence, if anyone cares.)

Illinois Governor thinks "Daily Show" correspondent is legit. Wonders why he's being asked to explain emergency contraception rules to a "hot 17-year old", and why he's being asked if he's "the gay governor."

He's running for re-election. His campaign slogan - "Getting things done for people."

At least, that's the official slogan. The unofficial one - "First socks. Then shoes."

Word of the People - A good long post on the Middle East situation is here. Not my take on things - I still think "engage Hamas" is, in its own way, as simplistic a position as my position of "screw Hamas," given Hamas' explicitly stated position, goals, and rationale. (If Israel's destruction is a religious imperative, I'm just saying, getting them to truly agree to blasphemy should be consider one of your longer long shots.)

Nevertheless, a good read.

When police are called to an accident scene and find only one person standing beside a wrecked car, it's not uncommon for that person to claim someone else was driving the car and took off after the wreck, never to be seen again. (The likelihood of this claim being made increases in proportion to the amount of alcohol consumed by the person making the claim.) In our office, this is known as "The John Defense," in honor of the first time I'd ever heard a defendant actually name the mystery driver. Frequently, the mystery person has no last name, only the vaguest of descriptions, and despite having just been involved in a serious accident, somehow had the ability to vanish from the scene without leaving a trace, leaving cynical cops to conclude that John was simply a fictional character created to avoid a drunk driving charge.

But I think it should be renamed "The Dietrich Defense" in honor of the man Stefan Eriksson allowed to drive (and wreck) his $1 million Ferrari Enzo at speeds of approximately 120 mph. Granted, Eriksson was above the legal alcohol limit, but still, that's a lot of trust for a guy who hasn't even entrusted you with his last name. For some reason, there appears to be some questions about Dietrich, starting with "does he even exist?"

Tip - Kevin Drum. And points to one of Drum's commenters, for asking the vital question - "Where the heck was Dick Cheney yesterday?" Cause if you say "Dick Cheney" really fast, it kind of sounds like "Dietrich."

China pitching fit about Taiwanese President's proposal to abolish a "Unification Council," designed to work towards reunifying Taiwan with the mainland. (Of course, any time the word "reunification" is used re: Taiwan, it usually means "under China's control, ending the rights of Taiwanese to choose their own leaders.")

China called for the U.S. to rein in President Chen Shui-bian, prompting the U.S. to respond "Who? We tried searching for him on Google.cn, but not much came up."

(Actually, a modest amount came up - searching for the President's name on Google.cn returned over 600,000 results. Of course, regular Google had about 1,500,000, but what's a million pages between friends?)

This "contract of wifely expectations" that this idiot in Iowa tried to force his wife to sign has to be read to be believed.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to persuade my wife to quit referring to me as "her starter husband."

Tip - Steve Silver.

Former Illinois Governor George Ryan will not take the stand in his own defense.

This means the trial should be wrapping up within a few days, depending on how many rebuttal witnesses the state intends to call.

You scored as Justice (Fairness). Your life is guided by the concept of Fair Justice: Everyone, yourself included, should be rewarded and punished according to the help or harm they cause. "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." --Leonardo da Vinci ?Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.? --Dwight D. Eisenhower More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Justice (Fairness) 70% Hedonism 70% Existentialism 65% Utilitarianism 65% Divine Command 60% Kantianism 55% Apathy 35% Strong Egoism 25% Nihilism 5% What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

Tip - Bob the Hedonist.

"If things went well, I could be sitting on four medals, maybe all of them gold." - Bode Miller, who currently has won as many medals in the 2006 Olympics as I have.

As I've said before, my favorite sporting event ever is the NCAA Basketball tournament. Last year, I tried to pick all 65 teams - I got 50 right, if I recall correctly. Trying again - I predict the following teams will be pleased come Selection Sunday:

Automatic Bids
Albany (17-9) Lipscomb (17-9) Villanova (21-2) Winthrop (18-7)
George Mason (21-5) UW-Milwaukee (18-8) Texas (22-4) Penn (16-7)
Kent State (19-7) Delaware St. (16-11) San Diego St. (17-7) Murray St. (20-5)
Bucknell (21-4) GA Southern (18-8) Southern (14-12) Gonzaga (20-5)
G. Washington (22-1)Duke (25-1) Montana (18-5) Illinois (22-4)
Pacific (18-7) Memphis (24-2) Iona (20-5) IUPUI (16-7)
F. Dickinson (16-9) N. Iowa (22-6) UCLA (20-6) Florida (22-4)
Northwestern St. (18-7) W. Kentucky (20-5) Nevada (21-5)

At-Large Bids
UConn (23-2) Pittsburgh (20-4) W. Virginia (18-8) Georgetown (17-7)
Kansas (19-6) Oklahoma (18-6) NC State (21-5) N. Carolina (17-6)
Boston College (21-5) Iowa (20-7) Ohio St. (19-4) Wisconsin (18-7)
Wichita St. (21-7) UAB (19-5) Tennessee (19-4) LSU (18-7)
Marquette (18-8) Syracuse (19-8) Colorado (17-6) Old Dominion (19-8)
UNC Wilmington (20-7) Air Force (21-5) BYU (16-7) Maryland (16-9)
Xavier (16-7) Michigan St. (19-7) Houston (18-6) S. Illinois (18-9)
Missouri St. (18-7) Arizona (15-9) Alabama (15-9) Kentucky (17-9)
Utah St. (18-6) Wasington (20-5)

Last Team in - Xavier.

Last Team out - Seton Hall. (And that'll be just because the Big East is overrepresented as it is. Man, is that league stacked this year.)

The crime against humanity known as the play-in game will be committed against Delaware State and Southern.

And Duke will the win the whole damn thing again. Damn that Coach Ksysh....Krysze...damn you J.J. Redick!

OK, most kidding aside. This post about Israel cutting off funding to the PA as a result of Hamas pledging to keep being Hamas prompted a solid point in response from John DeWolfe. I'll repost it below:

dunno Gib... I mean, you're obviously right, but there's being right and then sounding right, if you know what I mean. In an ideal world Hamas wouldn't get a red cent from the decent people of the Earth, and the reasons you outline are exactly why. But it's not hard to see how, in the Middle East, this could look like Israelis and Americans saying "Sure, you should have democracy! Vote for anyone you like. Oh, except, not those guys. Or those guys. We'll let you know which parties we approve of."

I don't want to disagree, because I'm really not sure where the line between principle and realpolitik should be on this question, or even how pragmatic it is to fund the Hamas regime. I think we need to come up with a good way to get across a somewhat complex point - Yes, Hamas is the legitimate government of the PA, and we don't dispute that. However, when even legitimate governments decide to do stupid things (such as vow the destruction of your neighbours who help pay your bills, for one example) those decisions have consequences. Doesn't mean Palestinians don't have the right to vote for whoever they like. Just means they should ask their own government not to do stupid, self-destructive things.

Any ideas on how to present the argument to Palestinians that way, and not have it misinterpreted as "Democracy = vote for whoever Uncle Sam tells you to"?

Fair question, and it involves a point that's already being raised across the Middle East - about how the U.S. doesn't really support democracy when the result elects a government we don't like.

First, the snarky comment - the world says there's a right result for an election, and pitches a hissy fit when it doesn't turn out that way? Here in the U.S., we call that 2004. "We're not going to like you if you vote for Bush!" was made pretty clear. Noted, and filed as the cost of doing business. Other things mattered more to us then the goodwill of the E.U., just as it did to you. So we can relate, really we can.

The U.S. recognizes that Hamas won primarily because the Palestinians were fed up with Fatah corruption. However, every public statment made by the U.S. regarding Hamas should make the point that the Palestinians now have it in them to choose how they wish to deal with Israel, and Israel and its allies will respond to that choice. We recognize there is ample evidence that Hamas considers the eradication of Israel to be a religious calling, which makes genuine compromise impossible. With the election of such an entity to run Palestinian authority, cutting off aid to Hamas isn't a rejection of the election results, it is recognizing them as the genuine wish of the Palestinian people, and acting accordingly. Should the Palestinians genuinely want to work out a permanent two-state solution (and not this "long term truce" bullshit), they can pressure their leaders accordingly. For far too long, the decision of whether to engage or fight Israel has been made for the Palestinians. Now they get to make it themselves, and that's a good thing.

But just like the re-election of Bush here doesn't obligate Jacques Chirac to sign off on the war in Iraq, the election of Hamas doesn't obligate Israel to fund its own destruction. If the election of Hamas wasn't a vote for armed resistance and pushing the Jews into the sea, the people to make aware of that are Hamas, not the U.S. or Israel.

Because we respect the results of the election. And we will respond accordingly.

Stop by and wish Joe-6-pack a happy first blogiversary.

Don't punish the Palestinians - begs former President Jimmy Carter. Sure, they're governed by Hamas, but it wasn't like they voted for them...no, wait, that's not the reason...

Well, it must be because Hamas has finally agreed to recognize the existence of the Jewish state...no, apparently that's not it either...

The logic is as follows: Cutting off funding would piss off the Palestinians (who are currently not pissed off at Israel, apparently), increase the prestige of Hamas (their failure to deliver prosperity or the destruction of Israel would be moral victory, perhaps), and my favorite - the fact that Hamas recognizing Israel is "inevitable."

Seriously, did we give this guy the real nuclear codes, or did somebody in the Pentagon rig something official looking using a couple of Coleco handheld football games?

Look at it this way: Hamas has reiterated its refusal to settle for anything less than Israel's complete annihilation. They believe the Protocols of the Elders of Zion to be a legitimate historical document. Israel should give these nutjobs dollar one cause why now?

"They'll get it from Iran" is the closest anyone comes to a rational argument. But realistically, what's the worst that could happen if Iran were funding the PA instead of Europe and the US? That the Palestinians would actively support a violent band of anti-Semitic loons dedicated to Israel's destruction?

And, of course, any Middle East dispute would not be complete without the UN weighing in. And, the UN's position on Israel funding a group devoted to their slaughter?

Why, they have to, of course.

Trip to the store that has it all - catfights, women changing right there in the rows of racks - if more shopping trips were like this, men would complain less about coming along on shopping trips.

Regarding the case where the defense responded to prosecuting a 14 year old murder by requesting a 14 year continuance?

Yeah, that was denied. Although the prosecution was willing to agree to it, if the defendant waived his right to bond.

The trial of Barton Corbin, charged with murder in the death of his wife Jennifer Corbin, is scheduled to start in April. He is also accused of killing his then girlfriend Dolly Hearn in 1990 in Augusta.

When you're taking a slogan from the Bible to try and market your church to people, you know who you probably shouldn't quote?

Satan.

You know, when in doubt, you can always rely on Stryper lyrics. Stryper won't steer you wrong.

Tip - Ken Wheaton.

I mean, really care about them. Certain parts of them more than others, but still, the sentiment is there.

At a Public Works meeting with 100 people in attendance, including the Governor, a 24 year old aide brought William Schaefer, the 84 year old Comptroller, some tea. After she turned around to walk away, he called her back, and asked her to walk out again, blatantly staring at her ass.

Again - public hearing, media in attendance. And, while, granted "Perverted geezer leers at attractive woman young enough to be his granddaughter" isn't really all that surprising a headline, his reaction upon being told he perhaps had done something wrong is kind of interesting:

She "ought to be damn happy that I observed her going out the door," Schaefer said. "The day I don't look at pretty women is the day I die."

The comptroller briefly broke away from reporters to talk to the woman in private, but returned to say he had not apologized.

"The one who's offended is me," he said, for being subjected to questions about the encounter.

Hey, for all I know, being leered at by a man 60 years your senior is something to be proud of. It's certainly never happened to me, and frankly, my self-esteem has suffered somewhat because of it.

Still, various people are upset:

"Women are not objects," said Sandy Bell, acting vice president of Maryland NOW, the state branch of the National Organization for Women. "Somebody in his position should know better."

Upon being advised Schaefer was pro-choice, Bell later said "Oh. Well, never mind, then."

And, of course, this incident was further marred by the typical insensitivity the Bush Administration shows to victims of sexual harassment. As soon as word got out about the incident, Vice President Cheney called Schaefer to invite him on a hunting trip.

Former Cleveland Indians slugger/all-around jerk Albert Belle has once again been arrested.

A question: If there were pictures of U.S. soldiers torturing Iraqi detainees by showing them Mohammed cartoons, would CNN show them?

There's a right way to decline a job offer.

Then there's this way.

Then there's the pleasant aftermath, complete with bar complaints.

...then you need to pick another day, because today's birthday boy is none other than North Korea's Dear Leader himself, Kim Jong Il.



I'm sure everyone will join me in hoping that this year, he gets everything he truly deserves.

So, are Chinese agents in foreign countries harassing and attacking Chinese dissidents abroad?

Somebody broke into the home of a guy here in Atlanta who writes for the Epoch Times - a news & opinion website connected with the Falun Gong movement, which the Chinese government views the way B.A. Baracus viewed getting on a plane flown by Murdoch. The burglers beat up Peter Yuan Li and stole only his wallet and two laptop computers, leaving behind other valuables. They also went through filing cabinets and asked for documents. Li has no doubt that the Chinese government is doing what it can to harass him because of his work for "the propaganda machine of the evil cult," as a Chinese embassy employee referred to the Epoch Times.

Li made an appearance at Congress recently, where a committee is yelling at Google and Yahoo over their willingness to help China keep their citizens in the dark about what's really going on in the world. (And, for that matter, in China itself.) A really harsh criticism came when they were compared to IBM's technology being used to assist in the Holocaust - made worse because it was apparently made either by, or with at least the tacit approval of, Holocaust survivor/Congressman Tom Lantos. (The article isn't clear who said it, but Lantos was there when it was made - so it appears he's OK with the analogy.)

Especially if the officer is the Incredible Frickin' Hulk.

You would not like the officer when he is angry.

Look, I'm as pro-cop a guy as you're likely to find. That said, who the hell signed off on undercover cops getting sexual favors at massage parlors as part of the "investigation?"

As someone whose job gets easier the more evidence cops get bring in, I'm all about a thorough investigation. However, if you need the masseuse to go all the way before it becomes clear she isn't looking for her contact lens, your local problem is a severely obtuse jury pool, not massage parlors.

Basically, these guys are getting hookers on the taxpayer's dime, which is wrong for more reasons than the mental picture of Ted Kennedy trying to make it through the police academy. The people who implemented this policy should be fired, arrested, and probably vaccinated, just to be on the safe side.

Tip - Ace.

You scored as Deep Space Nine (Star Trek). You have entered the dark side of the Star Trek universe. The paradise of Earth is far from you and you must survive despite having enemies on all fronts. But you wouldnâ??t have it any other way because you thrive in conflict and will know what needs to be done to take care of those around you. Now if only the Founders would quit trying to take over the galaxy. Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 81% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 81% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 69% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 69% SG-1 (Stargate) 63% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 56% Moya (Farscape) 56% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 56% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 50% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 50% Serenity (Firefly) 44% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 38% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

I actually did go on a few dates in college.

Tip - some guy on Serenity.

Interesting post in Southern Appeal links to an article defending General William Tecumseh Sherman, whose popularity in these parts is somewhere between Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi and a guy who thinks SEC college football really isn't anything to write home about.

Also an interesting read from the perspective of a guy who lives in Atlanta now, but grew up in Abe Lincoln's backyard, where we learned in school that pretty much everything that got done to the South during the Civil War needed doing.

The comments provide an insight as to why my home-grown friends don't see the humor in me naming my Hyundai Elantra "The General Sherman."

Girls Gone Wild - British version...

TWO women were caught romping in a train station toilet, a court heard yesterday.
Nicola Hudson, 22, and Ann-Marie O’Neill, 29, were heard “moaning and groaning” by a cop at Manchester Piccadilly.

He looked over a cubicle wall and saw O’Neill naked from the waist down, kneeling and caressing a topless Hudson.

After several minutes the officer told them to stop and get dressed. (emphasis added)

You see, a good police officer makes certain he's got the correct suspect before he makes an arrest.

Tip - Ace.

Franklin Cover, the actor who played Tom Willis in the "The Jeffersons" (which wouldn't get within a hundred miles of network television today, much to TV's detriment), has gone to that deluxe apartment in the sky.

Hugo Chavez revisits the 80's, demanding Great Britain return the Falklands to Argentina.

He then put on his red leather jacket and one sequined glove and sat back to watch the football exploits of a young Joe Montana.

If they were this right about Dawn Summers, I don't see how this could be wrong...

How to make a Gib

Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 3 parts brilliance 3 parts beauty

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Serve with a slice of sadness and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

The Brian Nichols trial will take place in the complex where the shooting occurred. The jurors will be kept away from the crime scene.

Hezbollah to Bush, re: Cartoon fracas: Shut up.

In Beirut, Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah urged Muslims worldwide to keep demonstrating until there is an apology over the drawings and Europe passes laws forbidding insults to the prophet.

And tell your women to cover up, too! What is this, Scores?

You know, if your reason for wanting things to be a certain way is because you think that's what Jesus would do, that's fine for you, but you just can't try and change the law to fit your idea of Christ's will. Maybe not everyone interprets the word of God that way. And maybe some people don't believe at all and don't give a rip what Jesus did or didn't want and shouldn't be governed by your religious views?

So what are the damn Jesus freaks trying to do now? Oh, they're trying to persuade Congress to enact stronger environmental regulations. Some spiritual hoo-hah about being proper stewards of the world God entrusted to them, and all that?

Why do you ask?

Bolivian President Evo Morales, elected promising to be "America's Worst Nightmare," would like us to give him some money.

Kind of reminds me when I was in high school, and I'd swagger through the house with my baseball cap on backwards and my jacket off my shoulders. (Yes, it looked stupid. I know that now.) I was going to rebel, man! I was going to fight the powers that be!

...if mom could give me $10 to go to the mall.

Hamas has spelled out what Israel has to do to earn a "long-term truce" from them. Not actual recognition, mind you, (that's crazy talk), but a long-term truce, which is different from "you hold back while we work on the means to wipe you out for good," in the following respects...

...

...hold on, it'll come to me...

...anyway, here's all Israel has to do to get Hamas to stop killing Jews for awhile (not forever, let's not be nuts, but for a while...):

"When Israel says that it will recognise Palestinian rights, and will withdraw from the West Bank and East Jerusalem, and grant the right of return, stop settlements and recognise the rights of the Palestinians to self-determination, then Hamas will be ready to take a serious step," Mr Mashal said.

You see? Just a few minor concessions.

Oh, and while Israel's thinking about that, if you were looking for an opportunity to show what a responsible member of the world community you can be...I hear opportunity knocking.

By the way, the responsible thing to do is stop that. Not encourage it.

Editors at the New York Press have resigned, because their publisher nixed running the Mohammed cartoons. You know, I can understand why someone wouldn't run them.

But a little honesty, please? Respect for someone's faith is a good thing, but it's never stopped an American news outlet from running a damn thing, until now. Just be straight with people, like this Mexican newspaper that is quite clear that they're not doing any in-depth reporting on drug gangs because the drug gangs will kill them.

American media outlets should just run the following disclaimer:

"We have decided not to run the Mohammed cartoons, because deranged loonballs might react by firebombing our building or killing our reporters or their families. We're willing to take a courageous stance on behalf of reporting the truth - but frankly, boys and girls, this fight ain't worth it."

We'd understand. Really we would. You can tell us.

Stone Cole John Bolton has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Michael at Of the Mind has reason #2486B on why Ralph Reed needs to get his ass out of Georgia's Lt. Governor's race.

Guy gets his start in Detroit - then leaves to try and make it elsewhere, only to come back to the city where it all started and lay claim to a Super Bowl Championship.



Congratulations, Charlie Batch!

Oh, and the rest of the Steelers, too.

The prosecution has rested its case in the trial of the Illinois State Insect, former Governor George Ryan.

The defense called as a witness a former employee who noted that sure, a lot of the people who worked for Ryan would get together and give him cash, and apparently Ryan kept track of who did and didn't give him money, but that's certainly not because he was soliciting kickbacks from employees or anything like that.

And that's from someone chosen by the defense to make Ryan look good.

Illinois politics - gotta love it.

Cause: Teachers tell kids junk food is bad for them.

Effect: Kids refuse to sell candy bars, tanking school's fundraising ability.

Cause: Teachers tell kids junk food is bad for them.

Effect: Kids refuse to sell candy bars, tanking school's fundraising ability.

OK, so everyone's pissed off at Billy Zane because he's playing an evil American soldier in some Turkish movie. Still, let's not make too much of this, as Billy Zane is maybe not such a good judge of important, valuable movies.

He defended Uwe Boll and his recent film "Bloodrayne" as having the political courage of "Brokeback Mountain", the mythical fantasy of "Narnia", and the Gothic sexiness of "Underworld: Evolution." Apparently he was close - as audiences have found the film to have the political courage of "Underworld", the mythical fantasy of "Brokeback Mountain" and the Gothic sexiness of "Narnia."

Marriage between hot actress and rock star fails.

Cynthia McKinney (D-Mars, and occasionally Decatur, GA) and Jesse Jackson Jr. get upset that Harry Reid gets a better seat at the state of the union and he didn't even filibuster Alito.

McKinney got to the floor hours and hours in advance to snag one of those coveted in-the-spotlight seats for her and Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Ill.). So naturally, she didn’t want to relinquish them for a bigfoot whom she and Jackson weren’t real happy to see: Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.)

Jackson initially went down to the floor with McKinney to claim two seats. Knowing that the section they wanted is normally reserved for Senators, he said, “Since none of these Democrats over there [in the Senate] filibustered Alito, why can’t we have these seats?”

Actually, he did, but McKinney and facts...they're not friends. They're barely acquaintances. Maybe the problem was Reid's failure to pull out Byron Dorgan's fingernails until he went along.

Also funny - she refers to Jackson as "J-3." I've always preferred calling him "Triple J" myself. (Not to be confused with Double J.)

And we were all so impressed with the French newspaper that dared to run the cartoons about Mohammed that have gotten violent assholes so worked up.

Well, not all of us. The newspaper editor got fired.

Poor guy has to spend a week in Detroit.

And congratulations to Steve for ten years on the internet. Or, if you measure it by number of posts, about two weeks.

If you cut open puppies to conceal smuggled drugs, there is nothing anyone can do to you that qualifies as "cruel and unusual."

Nothing.

Guy crashes his car through a house, then falls asleep in bed before the police get there. It is not his house.

The news report refers to him as a suspected drunk driver.

God Bless America.

...is up there with "Deuce Bigalow prepares intensive Oscar campaign" as a headline you're unlikely to see. Yet, it happened.

Denmark is faced with increasingly violent protests over the decision of a Danish newspaper - Jyllands-Posten - to run a series of cartoon drawings of the Prophet Muhammed. (Should you wish to see for yourself - the cartoons in question are here.) The reactions have included boycotts of Danish goods, and bomb threats to the newspaper. In what has to set some kind of chutzpah record - Saudi Arabia is offering to show Denmark the way to properly respect religious minorities. (If any smartass Danish legislator were to propose a law according Islam "the same respect Saudi Arabia shows to non-Islamic faiths," that would be wrong. But really, really funny.)

Not to say the protests aren't having another effect - as I said earlier - a French newspaper is standing up for cartoonists and Jyllands-Posten - France Soir is reprinting the cartoons. In further good news for those opposed to a "violent asshole veto" of offensive material, German newspapers Welt and Berliner Zeitung also reprinted some of the cartoons. And, in a quick aside to those behind the threats and the violence, please know that these cartoons have been posted on major websites, and rerun in French and German newspapers solely because of you.

Look, we speak from experience. Ever heard of the movie The Last Temptation of Christ? It took Jesus Christ - the central figure of Christianity - a guy so important they named the religion after him - and portrayed him in ways many people found very offensive. There were protests - a big hullabaloo about the movie - made it a very big story. Bad idea, too - turns out it was a boring ass movie that would have gone away a lot quicker if seeing it hadn't become a free speech cause celebre.

Point being - crappy art done solely to be "provocative" goes away very quickly if you just refuse to be provoked.

Just saying, is all.