Crosblog

Following a speech where NAACP President Julian Bond criticized numerous elements of President Bush's administration, the IRS opened an investigation into whether the NAACP violated requirements that tax-exempt groups refrain from partisan activity. Now, if you think the NAACP brought this on themselves with its heavy-handed anti-Bush rhetoric, you obviously hate free speech:

On Friday, Bond argued that his criticism of Bush is protected under the First Amendment. "We think criticism of people in public office is a legitimate part of public expression," he said. "We're confident that our position is defensible and that in the end we will be vindicated."

Now, the rest of us can criticize the President, or any other politician, as we see fit. Of course, we have to pay taxes, too, and if Julian Bond wishes to use his organization to work for the defeat of one candidate, or the election of another, hey, God Bless America, here's your tax bill!

Of course, in Bond's defense, the NAACP has been a partisan organization for years, and nobody's done a damn thing about it until now. As for Bond's claim that this is happening because we're so close to the election, I gotta wonder: How many people give a crap far away from the election?

Hat tip to Michael and Cube, who have both weighed in on the matter.

Rottweiler calls 911, opens door for police when her owner collapsed.

The dog also detected an unexpected reaction to the woman's seizure medication.

Just doing her part to refute all the rottweiler stereotypes in the mainstream media.

Just when Hell was setting up the welcome party - they appear to have found out what was wrong with Yassir Arafat (physically, I mean), and those of us looking forward to a world without him will have to wait a while.

Speaking of parties, recall the judge who threw one for a guy she was sending to prison for life? (And we're talking actual party here, complete with cake.) Well, upon this making the news, and getting flak from some folks who maybe can't give you chapter and verse on the Texas Bar Code of Ethics, but are pretty sure this had to have violated some tenet of it - she has released a statement. She is not sorry:

"A full year later, he was recaptured, off the streets, and no longer a community threat. And, yes, I threw a party," the judge said in a statement.

Hat tip to the judge for standing her ground - you don't mean the apology, don't offer the apology. Still, being able to make people call you "Your Honor", even if they don't like you, comes with opportunity costs, and I'm fairly certain stuff like that qualifies.

Well, no, but he's going to a hospital in Paris. Karol noted this Spot On quote from the Belmont Club:

'That they had to fly in doctors to treat him in a makeshift clinic underscores how, after 50 years of UN relief and billions in European investment, there are no Palestinian institutions. Not even decent hospitals for its supreme leader.'

An effective dictator at least has some quality stuff for himself.

Dave Justus reminds us you're not supposed to take joy in another's pain, even Arafat's. And I don't particularly need his death to be painful. But the man made the world in general, and his own little corner of it in particular, a worse place, and we're better off without him.

U.S. ties with Belgium on list of countries with the most freedom of the press.

Which ain't bad, although getting beat out by Bosnia's gotta sting.

The whole list is here - the bottom 10:

158 Iran 78,30
159 Saudi Arabia 79,17
160 Nepal 84,00
161 Vietnam 86,88
162 China 92,33
163 Eritrea 93,25
164 Turkmenistan 99,83
165 Burma 103,63
166 Cuba 106,83
167 North Korea 107,50

The wife went away Saturday for a conference, and just now got in. You learn things when your spouse is gone, and it's just you, your dogs, and a bevy of barely legal harlots in your home. (Just kidding...they weren't legal.)

The first thing you learn is exactly how much Playstation 2 you're capable of playing. (Answer: "Holy crap, when did it get to be 1 a.m.?") You learn exactly how important it is to salvage a winning season at virtual soccer. Is this more important than the Cardinals flushing of their season, occuring simultaneously in the real world? Yes, yes it is. (And the way the Cardinals are playing, they apparently agree with me.) It gets lonely, though, but I'm not the only one here who misses her. The dogs do too, and unlike me, they can't talk to her on the phone. Wathcing them, I realize in all the years of human interaction and telling our fellow man we miss them, we have never come up with a statement of longing so eloquent as a dog curling up in his person's blanket, surrounding himself with the scent of a loved one whose abscence he does not understand.

Show off.

I'm not in a swing state, so there's no point in watching the news. No good political ads here in Georgia. Who in the hell is paying for this guy running for Court of Appeals to have ads on every 30 minutes? And finally, for the official political content of this post - anyone else think Johnny Isakson looks like the undead version of John Ashcroft?

I report, you decide.

Spouse is having a grand old time in Phoenix. She skips out on a Steve Forbes speech, which annoyed me, because I wanted to know how many times the man would blink in a one hour speech. (My guess - 3.) She swears she's not doing any shopping. Her plane gets in at 12:48 a.m. Wednesday morning, so I spend half an hour in an empty airport. Airport cops have Segways now, and if there's a way to look like more of a tool than you do on a Segway, I haven't seen it. Still, in honor of the cop who cursed out the cabdriver who blocked me in, much love to the airport security. Defending our nation from...I mean, come on, people, an $800 scooter is still a scooter.

Glad to get her back. Glad to see her. Glad to hear about her trip. Glad to learn her luggage didn't go to Boise. She steels herself before entering the house, and that hurts a little. I mean, did she think I would have wrecked the house in three days? (Upside of spouse not reading blog - rhetorical questions remain rhetorical.) Dogs very glad to see her. Life back to normal.

And I didn't wreck the house!

Colin Powell pisses off Taiwan by speaking of Taiwan's eventual reunification with the mainland. (Taiwanese response: "Our what now? Dude, do you think a laogai is a Chinese term for a Hooters restaurant?")

Colin Powell pisses off China by saying it's high time they talked to Taiwan. (Chinese response: "Hey, they didn't want to talk. And we invited them to Hooters and everything.")

Guy drives his car at Katherine Harris and supporters. His take on things?

Witnesses gave the car's license plate number to police, and they tracked it to Barry M. Seltzer, 46. He came to the police station early Wednesday and complained to officers that Harris' supporters had impeded traffic.

"I intimidated them with my car," Seltzer told police. "I was exercising my political expression."

Poll time - "I was exercising my political expression" vs. "My truth is that I am a gay American." Which is lamer?

Or would that be "more lame?"

Or something like that. You may have heard that Georgia's Supreme Court struck down our hate crimes law, sparing two truly rancid human beings from spending an extra two years in prison as a result of a brutal, racist assault.

"We are by no means condoning appellants' savage attack on the victims in this case or any conduct motivated by a bigoted or hate-filled point of view" said the Court, which they had to, since in certain circumstances, opposing a hate crimes law can be just as bad as the crime itself.

The decision itself can be found here. And the ruling appears to be sound - legislators couldn't agree on classifications - so they went ahead and passed a bill opponents warned was unconstitutional. Language in the decision points to other hate crimes laws that have been affirmed, and lawmakers in Georgia plan to try again. (Their original bill, modified in the State House - might have passed muster.)

I've never been a fan of hate crimes law. I understand that certain statutes have survived constitutional challenges, but it still strikes me as criminalizing thought. I also fail to see what problem the addition of these laws purports to fix. I've never heard of any crime that couldn't have been sentenced appropriately without a hate crimes law. For instance, take the above case. They were sentenced to six years in prison for aggravated assault, then the court used the hate crimes enhancement to add two years to their sentence. (They could have added up to five years.) But aggravated assault, in Georgia, carries a sentence of 1 to 20 years in prison.

Due to changes in Georgia's legislature, any new hate crimes bill will have a struggle to pass. But, I'm sure, eventually, we'll get ourselves a hate crime law once again.

I'm just not sure we're going to need one.

Is in reality less amusing than you might have seen in the movies. Student activists have posted a letter sent from an escapee from a North Korean prison camp, the only survivor after his entire family was sent there. (Lil' Kim routinely locks up families of political prisoners.)

Another story on the same website deals with something I've always thought was the real way to attack the Norks: Breaking their death grip on information. We all know that the North Korean government is a pathetic fraud, but the actual North Koreans don't know that, and there aren't many ways of letting them know. Spreading the word about the truth concerning Kim Jong-Il (and I'm not talking about finding hidden labor camps or even nukes, just pointing out how little he's been able to provide his people compared with the South), should go a long way towards breaking the cult of personality that keeps Kim invulnerable to pressure from within. And once that's done, then we have a real chance of seeing him get his ass "Ceausescued."

Links via the indispensible Winds of Change.

Ariel Sharon may well be the only person in Israel who could pass a plan withdrawing from settlements in the Gaza Strip. Call the man anything you want (really, it's OK, there are no rules of decorum or decency when talking about Israel), but lily-livered appeasement weasel isn't going to stick. (Not that folks over there aren't trying.)

Sharon's plan (backed mainly by opposition party members) is being recognized in Israel as a historic sea change, as it marks (I think) the first time Israel has declared a willingness to give up land to which they feel they have a righteous claim. However, security concerns plus a Palestinian claim to the same land that is not wholly without merit plus a desire to get Europe the hell off their backs has resulted in a disengagement plan that will hopefully make Israel proper easier to defend and more secure.

I say "easier to defend and more secure" because anyone who thinks this will produce even a sliver of goodwill, hope, or optimism among the Palestinians is gargling with Mop & Glo. Review Al Jazeera's take on the same story. Heavy emphasis on the opposition to Sharon's plan, suggesting Israel will never go through with it. "Only four settlements" being closed, because as usual Israel isn't giving up enough in response to the squat they're getting in return. And, of course, the money quote:

Sharon, once the Jewish colonists' champion but now a hate-figure, told parliament a pullout from Gaza by the end of 2005 would increase Israel's security and allow it to seal its grip on larger illegal West Bank settlements.

OK, I didn't hear Sharon's speech, and even if I did, my Hebrew's a little shaky, but I'm going to guess that Sharon didn't say anything like "allowing it to seal its grip on larger illegal West Bank settlements." I'm sure he said something closer to his plan would make Israel more secure. And, of course, a secure Israel is not an Israel the Palestinians can deal with.

...Okay, when a guy accused of choking his girlfriend unconscious skips town right as his trial's about to start, if you're a judge, you'd get a little ticked off. And when he's finally caught, having been convicted and sentenced to life in absentia (they can do that in certain circumstances), you'd be happy to see him finally getting his due.

That said, I'm just guessing that throwing him a "Going to Prison" party, complete with cake, balloons, and streamers probably crossed a line somewhere.

I get it. Really, I do. But there's a reason most courthouses have about ten bars within a two-block radius.

Besides the high percentage of drunk lawyers, I mean.

Via Winds of Change - we learn that the Tick has endorsed George Bush for President.

And whatever your party affiliation, you gotta agree - George Bush is the Tick's kinda guy.

In the interest of equal time, I'll note that I suspect that Arthur is a Kerry man.

Ever wonder what type of D & D character you were? Me neither, but once I learned I could find out (courtesy of Grant's site - Random Acts of Discombobulation), I had no choice to but to discover:

I Am A: Lawful Good Human Paladin Fighter


Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.


Race:
Humans are the 'average' race. They have the shortest life spans, and because of this, they tend to avoid the racial prejudices that other races are known for. They are also very curious and tend to live 'for the moment'.


Primary Class:
Paladins are the Holy Warriors. They have been chosen by a God/dess to be their representative on Earth, and must follow the code of that deity, or risk severe penalties. They tend towards being righteous, but not generally to excess.


Secondary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.


Deity:
Tyr is the Lawful Good god of justice. He is also known as Tyr Grimjaws, Wounded Tyr, the Maimed God, and Blind Tyr. He appears as a warrior, missing his hand. Followers of Tyr are concerned first and foremost with justice - discovering the truth and punishing the guilty for their crimes. They wear blue and purple robes with a white sash, a white gauntlet on the left hand, and a black gauntlet on the right, to symbolize Tyr's lost hand. Their preferred weapon is the warhammer. Tyr's symbol is a set of scales resting on a warhammer.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)



Stunned I was to learn I'm a paladin. I never saw it. Reading D & D stuff, Paladins always struck me as the most arrogant, self-righteous...

...what are you all looking at?

Anyway, SarahK's blog had a link to a "What kind of blogger are you?" quiz. I needed to know this, as well.

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

How would people have been able to figure this stuff out before?

I mean, besides, reading the blog or talking to the person.

Because that's just silly.

Muslim websites debate Hassam kidnapping.

It's a start, I guess. I suppose "Muslim websites overwhelmingly demand scalps of human refuse who kidnap aid workers" would have been pushing it.

Of course, the folks who had no problem with the kidnapping and beheading of other hostages are denying being behind this one, because this time, it's wrong.

Fear not, good rebels. Of course, anything this bad couldn't be done by Zarqawi, cause he's all about the Islam, and Islam says this is wrong. The truth - the British are behind her kidnapping, and have done so to distract attention from a planned British redeployment to a more volatile section of Iraq.

Of course, since Hassan's video includes her captors forcing her to beg the British to call off the very thing they're supposedly trying to distract us from, either this is the world's worst distraction, or the good people blaming the Brits are morons.

I report, you decide.

Unless "Badakhshan" is an Afghan term meaning "Broward County", the results of Afghanistan's election should be official tomorrow, and it sounds like Karzai will win outright, and second place finisher Yunus Qanooni has said he will accept the results, as have most other challengers of any consequence.

Karzai will now have to form a government, and prepare for Parliamentary elections in 2005. At least a few former Taliban are planning to participate. Karzai's appeal seems to be mainly personal at this point - he's the guy the world loves, and the guy who can deliver the bling-bling, as measured in international aid dollars. Whether he could transfer this appeal to other candidates has yet to be tested, and I think in certain areas, he may have the same affect John Kerry has on Tom Daschle's Senate candidacy - in that Daschle has practically denied knowing Kerry, and run TV spots that show him hugging the President.

Still - a clear winner, and acceptance of the result from the rest - it's a good start. And yes, a good start is just a start, but it's also good.

Christopher Hitchens' final Nation column is online.

I subscribed to the Nation in no small part to read Hitchens regularly. And I just can't see myself subscribing to Vanity Fair.

We swear it was a really good idea, says the Guardian's Ian Katz of Operation: Clark County, where overseas folks were matched up with an Ohio resident in an attempt to persuade them to use their vote "for whichever candidate might be better" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more!)

With a last flurry of letters, including one from a guy named Ken Loach that may set a new record for condescention, our British friends spoke to us with the unconditional love they felt for a people they promised love again if certain conditions were met. (Note to world at large: Here in the U.S., we have a word for people who promise to be our friends and be nice to us if we do something nice for them in turn. When the police are watching, the word is "escort.")

Anywhoo, Katz swears this was a great idea, but has rethought sending the winner to Clark County to campaign personally, since apparently there's a level of interference that makes even them uncomfortable. Money quote:

Since sending a Guardian delegation to the county in the last week of the campaign would be bound to prolong the media brouhaha, with unknowable consequences, and since some of the mail we have received brings to mind the old joke about unenviable holidays (first prize one week, second prize two weeks), we have decided that our competition winners will be watching the last days of the campaign from another, more tranquil, corner of the American electoral battlefield.

(Note to Clark County - not that y'all needed help translating the above paragraph - but everyone gets that "unenviable holidays" = "Good God, please don't send me to a crappy place like Clark County, Ohio," right?)

In any event, the premature ending of the totally successful and not at all laughably backfiring Operation: Clark County has nothing to do with reports that residents are more offended than appreciative with the letters they've been getting.

My take on this was the same as it was when it first started - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yep, great idea, guys. Thanks for the input.

Reason magazine asks a number of people who they're voting for for President. This may be the only Presidential poll where Libertarian Michael Badnarik makes any kind of decent showing.

Some favorites:

Drew Carey

Carey stars in Drew Carey’s Green Screen Show, beginning October 7 on the WB.

2004 vote: Quit pretending that it matters, would you? Can you vote for all the nefarious cabals that really run the world? No. So fuck it.

2000 vote: I voted Libertarian, for all the good it did me.

Most embarrassing vote: Is it considered embarrassing to cast a vote out of principle for someone you know doesn’t have a snowball’s chance of winning? Oh, OK. Then they’re all embarrassing.

Favorite president: Andrew Jackson, because he’s what a lap dance costs (and because, ironically, he opposed having a National Bank).

Penn Jillette

Jillette is the larger, louder half of the comedy/magic team Penn & Teller and star of Showtime’s Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

2004 vote: I’m undecided (always the stupidest position). I might do the moral thing and not vote at all, or do the sensible thing and vote Libertarian (Badnarik, right?), or I might make 100 bucks from my buddy Tony and vote for Bush. (I told Tony that Bush and Kerry were exactly the same, and he bet me 100 bucks that I didn’t believe that enough to really truly vote for Bush.) But if you want to be pragmatic, I’m in Nevada, so who cares?

2000 vote: Harry Browne!

Most embarrassing vote: I must have voted Republicrat at least once, but voting is secret -- the Founding Fathers didn’t want us to be embarrassed by our evil pasts.

Favorite president: Teller (he’s president of Buggs and Rudy Discount Productions [Penn & Teller’s company]), because he can lie without saying a word.

P.J. O’Rourke

O’Rourke is H.L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute and author, most recently, of Peace Kills (Atlantic Monthly Press).

2004 vote: George W. Bush, because I don’t want Johnnie Cochran on the Supreme Court.

2000 vote: George W. Bush. (I always vote Republican because Republicans have fewer ideas. Although, in the case of George W., not fewer enough.)

Most embarrassing vote: A 1968 write-in for "Chairman Meow," my girlfriend’s cat. It seemed very funny at the time. As I mentioned, this was 1968.

Favorite president: Calvin Coolidge -- why say more?

But, actually the money quote is in the introdcution:

Voting for president is a lot like sex—and not just because it takes place every four years in the solitude of a semi-private booth.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Israel recently took out another high-level member of Hamas, prompting the usual outcry from Palestinians who think it's OK for them to make war on Israel, and a crime against humanity for Israel to make war back. But (Evita voice on) that's not the point, my friend. (Evita voice off).

Check the dude's name: Adnan al-Ghoul.

No word if he's any relation to the similarly named Batman villain.

Kerry's gonna make the world love us again. I get that, I really do. (I'm not sure I care all that much, but I get it.) Question is, what's this love gonna cost? One assumes that this European love is going to require a change in the American way of thinking on something of substance. Now, we know Kerry won't be giving the world veto power of the use of American military force, because he said he wouldn't. We also know that European love isn't free. (At least, it wasn't to Saddam Hussein.)

So, what's it gonna cost? Charles Krauthammer's guess: Israel. Now, abandoning Israel is one thing I don't think mainstream Democrats are guilty of. Fringe idiots like once and future Democratic Congressperson Cynthia McKinney, sure. But national level politicians like John Kerry? No way.

As Martin Peretz notes, while Kerry holds pro-Israel positions for reasonable periods of time (he's been back and forth on the security fence, for instance), whatever defenses of Israel he's offered have yet to include defending Israel from the constant pressure it gets from Europe and the UN. Now, perhaps that's just because it hasn't come up yet. And perhaps, a President Kerry would defend Israel from said pressure, even at the risk of upsetting our European partners.

And perhaps there's still time for me to try out for the NFL.

Hat tip: Instapundit.

The European Union has given Iran a "last chance" to abandon its uranium enrichment, which most folks think is geared towards the creation of an atomic bomb. (In the interest of equal time, we should note that Iran is outraged at the thought than anyone would think they wanted a nuclear bomb, and anyone who pointed out a statement where a high-ranking Iranian official thought it would be really cool if somebody nuked Israel didn't get that the Iranians didn't mean them specifically, just somebody.)

Iran, of course, has conditions - the main one being, we get to keep Iran. There are always conditions. First rule of international diplomacy - even if you have no conditions, set conditions. People who value negotiation and agreements above all will always be willing to meet at least a few of them, so you could get a set of golf clubs out of it.

Paul Hamm keeps his gold medal. International conspiracy to keep South Korea down in international sports continues.

Dave Barry is taking a year off. World's supply of booger jokes in danger of falling below subsistence levels.

...are easily the most storied franchise in baseball, and possibly in all of professional sports.

And now, their name will be synonymous with the biggest choke in baseball postseason history.

Is it just me, or is the sun shining just a little bit brighter today?

...lawyer arrested for for chatting with what he thought was a 13 year old girl and attempting to meet with her for sex.

Money quote: "Mr. Lever is a very well-respected individual in the legal community and clearly these charges are false," Brown (his attorney) said.

I'm not sure I'm the guy to be giving advice, but "liked by lawyers" may not be the best defense.

...fairly intense jury trial week began today, so blogging will be sporadic, intermittent, and other words indicating I'm shirking my duty, but not enough for y'all to stop checking by. (Please don't leave me! All I have to sustain me through my pathetic waste of a life is the belief that people care about why I dislike John Kerry! Oh, and family, friends, work, God, and all that other stuff, too.)

Anywhoo, I do have the time to point out this sign of the Apocalypse: William Shatner has a new CD out.

Denny Crain.

My wife takes great photos of our dogs. I love this shot of Mishka...



...we also got a kick out of this picture of Otchki.



Being his usual self...the happiest carbon based life form on planet earth.

Apparently this weekend is the 30th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons, which makes me recall my high school and college days and think...

..."Wow. There was once a time when I was even a bigger geek than I am now."

Zimbabwean opposition leader (and guy who would already have a Nobel Peace Prize if the award meant what it says it mean) Morgan Tsvangirai has been acquitted of treason for allegedly taking part in a plot to assassinate human cockroach Robert Mugabe. There is some discussion as to whether the judge was courageously defying Mugabe, or following Mugabe's will to avoid turning Tsvangirai into the next Mandela.

The bad news is Tsvangirai is still facing another treason trial for calling for street protests to oust Mugabe. Sounds like the plan is to keep him occupied with things other than getting rid of the crook turning what should have been an African success story into just another kleptocracy.

...a friend and former co-worker was injured in the suicide bombing yesterday in Iraq. At the moment, I don't know how serious it is, though it was noted that news reports describe his injuries as "serious", not "critical." Nothing to do at the moment but wait and pray.

I'm probably alone here, but I'm waiting with baited breath to see how Clark County, Ohio receives its status as the target of the Guardian's adopt-a-voter campaign. Ohio media is just starting to cover the story and talk to people who may be on the list - (This idea just hit Britain yesterday - obviously, no Clark County voter has received a letter from overseas yet.)

In the Columbus Dispatch, the local voter found is unimpressed in advance:

Springfield resident Marcia Frank said a letter from abroad would make little difference to her.

"I would pretty much discount it," she said, "because I don’t think anyone who doesn’t live in the U.S. can fully understand the issues." She declined to divulge her choice for president.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer (which may be farther away from Clark County than Indianapolis, but since we're talking about Ohio's electoral votes, they count) gets a quote from an official with the Clark County Democratic Party:

Meanwhile, at the Clark County Democratic headquarters in Springfield, Deputy Treasurer Jane Brooks welcomed the overseas help.

"I think it's wonderful!" she proclaimed.

Also, an Ohio spokesman for the Kerry campaign pronounces the overseas attention "flattering".

And, the Middletown Journal, a Clark County official notes that the county has not yet received payment from the Guardian for the voter list.

Also, I think practice is helping the Guardian's celebrity letter-writers. Today's sample is far less insulting then yesterday's examples, perhaps because the writer is a politician herself and is aware of how to talk to a voter.

...I'm not sure, honestly. Part of Friday's debate that I did hear concerned his answer to the abortion question, posed by an obviously pro-life woman. (This is referred to as a "rigged question" on the Kerry side, which nicely reaffirms my pre-existing prejudices about the contempt Democrats have for those opposed to abortion. If it's a "rigged question", then there's no way that she could have been someone who agrees with Kerry on other major issues, but is considering pulling the level for Bush because of what she perceives to be an egregiously wrong position on an issue of paramount importance. People who think unborn life merits protection are obviously incapable of such nuance.)

Nevertheless, the person who used the term, Amy Sullivan at Washington Monthly, writes a thought-provoking article claiming that Kerry was actually showing the respect that pro-life liberals have been begging for from the Democratic party for years. And on this, Kerry has been consistent, at least during his Presidential campaign - he's always said he's personally opposed to abortion, but...I've changed my mind about nitpicking Kerry on his actual position - that's a different topic. My point is Kerry has always supported abortion rights during his campaign, but he has uttered many public statements suggesting he has a problem with the act, and he understands why people feel there should be greater restrictions.

That the Democratic party supports one side of the debate I understand and respect. That the Democratic party radiates hostility for the other side of the debate has made it harder for me to be receptive to other aspects of their vision that I might support. I don't know whether Kerry meant what he said Friday, but if I want to believe that he did, and that he actually spoke for Democrats when he said it.

You guys who lived in states that are actually up for grabs don't know how lucky you are. Any state where both candidates think they can win is cool, but the real prize goes to those of you who live in Ohio. I only hope you're lucky enough to live in Clark County, located just west of Columbus in the heart of the state.

And why is that? Because via Tim Blair, we learn that the good people of Clark County have been adopted by the Guardian, a British newspaper trying to make the voice of our good friends across the pond more heard then they are now. The deal - contact the Guardian here to receive the name and address of a Clark County voter who is not registered with either party. They offer advice about not sounding like an ass, but the ultimate goal is to ensure a more worldly Clark County voter. (The Guardian includes information designed to "help" Bush as well - you know, Rush Limbaugh and the Christian Coalition being pretty much all you need to know to sound like a Republican - but they aren't kidding about the effect they want to have - which I appreciate - so I won't either.)

I'm pretty sure this is going to be hilarious, at least if the sample letters from John Le Carre, Antonia Fraser, and Richard Dawkins are seen as not condescending or insulting.

So far, I can't find anything in the local media about this, but I'm looking forward to hearing how this goes over. And when it's election time across the pond, I totally want to return the favor.

Taiwan President Chen Shui-Bian have his speech on Taiwan's National Day holiday, where he offered to restart talks with China, referencing a 1992 agreement between the two parties as a framework. The 1992 consensus affirmed the principle of "One China", although it did not settle whose definition of "One China" was the correct one. In the intervening years, Taiwan has grown used to the idea of being their own nation, and the lack of any serious Chinese moves towards removing the Communist Party's repressive monopoly on power has cooled Taiwan's fire for reunification.

And, of course, the Chinese, who have always had it in their power to make reunification more attractive to Taiwan simply by according their own citizens some real say in how the place was run, have attacked Chen's speech as provocative and dangerous, due to it's lack of words of unconditional surrender.

"Our stance and attitude haven't changed," Zhang said. "It is on the basis of one China that we can set aside our political disputes and make an early return to plans and talks about the two sides of the strait."

Anyhow, the good news is, once Taiwan agrees to see things Beijing's way, then we can have all kinds of talks about whether China is "totally right" or "absolutely correct."

The German defense minister suggests that if things change, Germany might be willing to take a more active role in Iraq.

But, lest anyone get any ideas, Prime Minister Schroeder is clear that none of the heavy lifting will be done by Germany.

...as nothing worth getting too worked up over.

France has been leading calls in Europe for a lifting of the arms embargo, which Mr Chirac said on Saturday had "no foundation or justification".

Really? No justification? None?

Well, thank Chirac for his point of view, I guess. And remember it when someone suggests French approval is worth going the extra mile for.

I may have mentioned before that it is your duty as an American to see "TEAM AMERICA: World Police." It features the destruction of historical monuments, a song called "America: F**K YEAH!", and hardcore puppet sex, plot devices you are unlikely to see in any of the Oscar bait that is starting to get released.

But don't rely on me for a recommendation. Heed the words of Sean Penn, whose puppetized form plays a small but crucial role in this classic film:

"It's all well to joke about me or whomever you choose. Not so well, to encourage irresponsibility that will ultimately lead to the disembowelment, mutilation, exploitation, and death of innocent people throughout the world."

Maybe Penn's just upset that his character isn't really a focal point of the film. (Not the way Matt Damon is, at any rate.)

To repeat - see the movie.

...go read his debate advice for Dubya.

(Note to Dubya - the article is satire. Most of the debate audience would probably not get the joke.)

I loved all the practical stuff. I got law school credit for working in a public defender's office as well as a U.S. Congressman, where I did my part to help him procure transportation subsidies for road projects back home and ensure federal funding of ethanol for the indeterminate future. (Snideness aside - I loved the experience, and I believe the Congressman to be a fine public servant - it was just interesting to learn how much of government work concerns the stuff that doesn't make the papers.)

Anyway, here's a practical class for you - draft a legal code that both complies with Islamic Sharia law and provides equality for women and non-Muslims, and respects international human rights norms. Some students at Penn are doing just that, and the code they come up with will actually be sent to the Republic of Maldives for consideration by their parliament. I just saw the one story, and I don't know anything about the guy running the Maldives, but this is an interesting project - if nothing else, to see how a western notion of sharia is received overseas.

My work computer is currently affected with some form of spyware that's added a search bar to Explorer, slowed down my computer, quintupled the number of pop-ups I have to close, and so far, resisted all efforts of Spybot to remove it.

Obviously, there is a special layer of hell reserved solely for the cretinous mollusks who vomited up these wretched digital plagues. But until they get there, we should all cheer the U.S. government as they finally start going after these bastards. And, while international matters really should have more say in who you vote for, I'd be willing to make a modest campaign contribution to anyone promising stiff prison terms to go along with the civil suits.

My folks came to town this weekend, so I spent most of the weekend away from all sources of news. I didn't watch TV, didn't check the internet, didn't listen to my wife nagging...I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I did watch a little TV.

Apparently, I missed Afghanistan's election (which, although it didn't go off without a hitch, went off with few enough hitches as to be cause for celebration among all those who didn't have a vested political interest in chaos, disaster, or apathy).

Apparently, I also missed Bush's victory in the second debate (my left-wing mother even admitted his performance was much stronger than in the first debate). Meanwhile, over in Iraq, there's the possibility of al-Sadr's militia disarming, and in the most amazing story yet, the St. Louis Rams actually pulled out a win against the Seattle Seahawks. (Like many Rams fans, I am not a Bulger-Backer. I miss the guy who led the Greatest Show on Turf, a man, who, despite making millions of dollars as an NFL superstar, was still enough of a regular guy to, apparently, cut his own hair. That said - the Hawks are supposed to be for real this year, and beating them ain't just whistling Dixie.)

Had a good time - you'd have to know my mother to know what an amazing sight it is to have her leaving a theater humming tunes from a Trey Parker/Matt Stone movie. (Repeat - See Team America) Ate a lot, walked around far too much of Decatur, and showed them my office/trailer. (Yes, I work in a trailer. Don't you want a government job?)

But, all in all, a good weekend for me, and apparently, for portions of the world that could use good news, such as St. Louis.

...I saw a sneak preview of Team America: World Police over the weekend. You'll have to see it yourself to get the line used above, but let me just say this...

...if you do not see this movie, the terrorists have won.

(And I question your patriotism.)

We have international organizations coming to observe our elections. Some of the observers will be appointed by someone very familiar with the election process - A Florida Democrat who was impeached and removed from the bench for taking bribes.

Thank goodness. I was worried those folks were going to be taking sides.

Oh, well. At least they're not in Afghanistan.

...is up there with "Chicago baseball fans sick of all the World Series parades" as a headline you're unlikely to see. But after mocking him and the Braves playoff chances yesterday, what does he do? He goes and wins today's playoff game with a dramatic walk-off home run.

I still don't like the Braves, but nicely done, Rafael.

Kevin Drum believes he's got the reason why Saddam acted like he had WMD's when he didn't. It's not a bad argument, as far as it goes. Saddam was worried about Iran, so he puffed himself up to make sure they thought he had something. As for the rest of us thinking he had something, well, I'll just quote:

Based on the interrogations, it appears that Hussein underestimated how seriously the United States took the weapons issue, and he believed it was vital to his own survival that the outside world — especially Iran — think he still had them.

Drum also adds that he believed a fear of WMDs kept the U.S. from booting him last time. It all sounds perfectly reasonable, and I'm inclined to agree as far as it goes, but I think there's something important missing from why Saddam didn't fear any action coming from our end, and this omission has a lot to do with my problems with foreign policy proposals from the left side of the aisle.

Saddam Hussein was bribing Security Council members to push for lifting sanctions and thwart any military action. Key political figures in the UN, as well as Russia, China, and France (all of whom, coincidentally, enjoy a veto in the Security Council), received vouchers allowing them to make huge profits off the Oil For Food scam. This scam, perpetuated by the supposed guarantors of international legitimacy, gave Hussein the idea that he had nothing to fear, as his business partners in Paris and Moscow and Beijing (among other places) would do their part to keep him in power, no matter how much he stonewalled. (Hey, his theory was sound - his coalition of the bribed and coerced moved heaven and earth to keep him in the big chair.) The result is a United Nations that has, and deserves, no credibility in the role it claims as honest arbiter of international disputes.

And John Kerry, whose foreign policy would require greater involvement with, (and a lot of us think, deference to) the U.N. has yet to, so far as I know, utter a blessed word about the subject. I'm not sure which is worse - either Kerry he knows damn well what a cesspit the U.N. is, in which case he's proposing something he knows won't help, or he honestly believes the U.N. is a reliable, honest broker, in which case he's more clueless about the world than George Bush would be if you dropped an anvil on his head (Note to more excitable readers - do not drop an anvil on George Bush's head).

Do Kerry's public pronouncements on restoring America's credibility with the world suggest he has any awareness of the credibility problem the rest of the world has? Sure, Congress is investigating Oil For Food, but Democrats on the committee assigned the matter are demonstrating their commitment to the legitimacy of international institutions by...trying to get the committee to spend its time on Halliburton. You know, if I were actively building a fictional straw man to help me make the Democrats less credible on foreign policy, this is exactly what I'd have them do.

If Kerry's foreign policy address the fact that the U.N., as currently situated, is a corrupt dictator protection society, it would actually have a lot to recommend it. As James Lileks said:

"I’d really like to live in John Kerry’s world. It seems like such a rational, sensible place, where handshakes and signatures have the power to change the face of the planet. If only the terrorists lived there as well."

But unless there's a secret part of his policy that he's not telling us (and there may be, there's a secret part of everything else he's got planned), John Kerry will be a successful President only if we can trust people who lined their pockets with a brutal dictator's money that was siphoned away from a program designed to buy food and medicine for children. And I'm thinking that's a longshot.

Your client has done something very bad. Your defense in court is that your client is not guilty by reason of insanity. Now, insanity claims are hard to establish. How do you make it clear how nuts your client really is?

Getting slashed by him with a razor blade during your trial might be one way. Money quote:

"I've contended all along that this guy is nuts, and to be honest, this pretty much confirms it," Garraway said late Wednesday. "... what kind of rational person would attack his own lawyer?"

Any legally minded folks out there want to field that one?

...and just think, if there's a runoff, the headline jokes will only get worse!

Wednesday was the last official day of campaigning in Afghanistan, which makes some sense, as the next two days will probably be devoted to shoring up security concerns before Saturday's vote. The Taliban, who are well aware that no sane populace would ever voluntarily give them power, tried to kill Hamid Karzai's running mate while the President collected endorsements.

Some of the last major campaign events were held at Kabul's soccer arena, which the Taliban had converted into an execution chamber. Both Karzai and Rashid Dostum (he of the questionable dedication to peaceful democracy) held rallies before campaigning was officially closed. The Taliban offered one last Tony Soprano-like warning:

"Those who wish to participate, despite the warning, can do so, but it will not be our responsibility if something happens to them," Taliban spokesman Abdul Latif Hakimi said by telephone.

Karzai's response:

"I urge you to vote freely, but I promise you that if someone else wins I will respect them and I will respect their vote. It is your choice," he said recently.

Here goes...well, maybe not everything, but certainly quite a lot, definitely more than nothing. Good luck, everyone, and Rashid, behave yourself.

...but, hey, the nation of Turkey is allowed to reach its own conclusion. They are "en route" to membership in the EU, although it should be noted that the EU has basically agreed to start discussions about considering the possibility of holding a vote at which Turkey joining would be discussed. Any actual joinage would take place sometime around 2015.

My gut is it sounds like Europe really, and the Rock means really, doesn't want Turkey in the fold, but can't figure out a polite way to say "Umm...you guys are a little too not-Christian and dark-skinned for us. But, we're still cool, right?" Have talks, discuss the possibility, then as soon as a social democratic candidate for office gets his yard-signs burned by an overly enthusiastic opponent, the rug gets pulled, citing Turkey's "failure to sufficiently democratize." Call me cynical - and read Cube's alternative take on what happens when this all falls through.

Ace of Spades refers to a story where John Kerry actually acknowledges that France and Germany will not be providing material support in Iraq. He's still sure he can get build a better coalition of the bribed and coerced, although who will join such coalition, and how he intends to build it without bribery or coercion, must regretfully remain a secret, so that Bush doesn't smack himself on the head, stand up (he'd hit himself so hard he'd fall down, you see), and loudly declare "Why didn't I think of that?" before stealing Kerry's idea and taking the credit faster than Bill Clinton could sign welfare reform.

Now, if we can get Kerry to explain how he would strike a deal with Iran to get them to give up nukes, given that Iran has already rejected his offer...

How would you like to be the person who determines exactly how much puppet sex is suitable for mass consumption?

By the way, I'm pretty sure it's your duty as an American to see this movie.

...is a pretty stupid question, given the likelihood of the event actually happening.

Atlanta Braves shortstop Rafael Furcal, who violated his old DUI probation by getting arrested for DUI again, has been given permission by the judge to play in the playoffs and not have to report to jail until it's over. Sounds like good work from his lawyer, who's trying to wrap up the old charge and the new charge in one package and concentrating on getting Furcal off the sauce. Now, certainly a lawyer's job is to plan for every eventuality, but this is stretching it:

Head said one concern about the ruling is how Furcal would handle a possible Braves championship. Players traditionally celebrate with champagne in the locker room, and the judge ruled Furcal may not drink alcohol or participate in postgame celebrations. The judge also ruled Furcal may not drive at least until after serving his sentence.

God bless him for thinking of all the angles, but come on, it's the Braves and the playoffs. The only question concerning the Braves choking is how soon it will happen.

Update 10-7-04 - Furcal 1, Crosblog 0 - He has won game 2 for the Braves with a walk-off home run in the 11th.

Via Oxblog, watch the amazing video of a dog who not only figured out how to open his cage at the pound, but opened everyone else's too, so he wouldn't be alone when partying while the humans were away.

OK, the second part of that headline is merely a conclusion on my part.

The United States has an illegal immigration problem. One that actually poses a danger to people. Not to hear our President tell it, of course, and in fact, he's so sure about it he's demanding the House of Representatives remove provisions cracking down on illegal immigration from the intelligence-overhaul bill.

I would love to know what John Kerry thinks about stuff like this. Kerry has said squat about illegal immigration, and at the risk of putting words in his mouth, I'm going to guess why: He is opposed to any measure that could be effective in cracking down on illegal immigrants, because it would offend what he believes to be a key constituency of his. (The exact same phrase could be applied to President Bush.) Now, admittedly, despite the irrational exuberance in some quarters, Kerry's probably long since blown his chance to earn my vote. But, much as it pains me to admit it, there are other people in this country whose votes count too. And many of them are desperate for a leader who will actually do something about it. And four years should be enough to verify that G. Dub. ain't the guy. Also, as a practical matter, the lack of action from our elected officials causes concerned citizens to do things like California's Proposition 187 or Arizona's upcoming Proposition 200,both referenda designed to curb illegal immigration. As a sign of the disconnect between the electors and the elected on this issue, Arizona's referendum is opposed by virtually every major politician in the state, yet is a virtual lock to pass.

Of course, the Arizona politicians and their national counterparts would be aghast at the suggestion that this is all their fault. But it is. You don't like these initiatives? Fine - you do something about it.

...this whole "chicks voting" thing is new to pretty much everyone over there. Not everyone is a fan of the idea. People are concerned that female voters may not vote their own personal beliefs, but rather who tribal elders tell them is best for their tribe or region.

In what I'm sure is a completely different situation that just popped into my head for no known reason, Tom Daschle is telling conservative South Dakota to re-elect him because he can bring home the bacon.

Measuring female participation in the Afghan election will have a lot to do with how big a step the country is deemed to have taken. Which is all fine, but remember - the baseline level of participation is "zero". The likely failure of the Afghani electorate to choose Masooda Jalal as their president doesn't mean lack of progress.

The real test, to me, is how those who are not chosen react. Yunus Qanooni and Rashid Dostum in particular have the ability to cause a lot of trouble if they find themselves unsatisfied with how the citizenry view them. (Dostum in particular seems more comfortable with causing trouble then ameliorating it.) Two ideas have to take hold:

1. Women voting will not cause the earth to stop spinning on its axis.
2. Neither will you losing.

John Kerry's official position is that pointing out the "global test" portion of his quote is pathetic scaremongering. Since Botoxus Magnificus demands context, context he shall have. Here's what he said, from the same article:

"No president, through all of American history, has ever ceded -- and nor would I -- the right to preempt in any way necessary, to protect the United States of America," the Democrat told moderator Jim Lehrer during the debate.

"But if and when you do it, Jim, you've got to do it in a way that passes the, the test, that passes the global test where your countrymen, your people, understand fully why you're doing what you're doing, and you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons."

Kerry opponents claim the global test language amounts to requiring approval from the rest of the world before we act. Kerry supporters claim the preceding paragraph is all you need to know. Kerry himself says the following:

"They're misleading Americans about what I said. What I said in the sentence preceding that was, 'I will never cede America's security to any institution or any other country.' No one gets a veto over our security. No one.

"And if they were honest enough to give America the full quote, which America heard, they would know that I'm never going to allow America's security to be outsourced. That's the job of the president.

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere.

"If you do things that are illegitimate in the eyes of the other people, it's very hard to get them to share the burden and risk with you."

OK, douchebag, here's how the full quote looks to those of us in flyover country: Your first statement sounded peachy dandy. As President, your decisions on what to do to ensure our security will never be subject to review by anyone else. However, you contradicted yourself in the very next freaking sentence. "You've got to do it in a way that passes the global test - prove you did it for legitimate reasons..." sounds exactly like some international forum will have to be satisfied with it. Now, this happens. When every word you speak is recorded, parsed, and second-guessed, we will find contradictory statements. (Not often right next to each other, but cut the man some slack, OK?) Now, the question is, which of these two statements more likely reflects Kerry's real take, and how he will behave as President?

Much of the rest of his campaign (except the Vietnam part) is Kerry promising to rebuild alliances, get other countries to assist in Iraq and Afghanistan. He's sure he can cut a deal to resolve every international crisis on the table, from Iraq to Iran to North Korea. This strategy will require the goodwill of other countries. In fact, restoring said goodwill is considered a prime reason to elect Kerry. These countries will want to make sure they can be the Master to our Blaster before Kerry gets squat. Therefore, reasonable people can conclude that the "global test" Kerry is the real one, and the "never give a veto" Kerry is the Pander Bear.

"I was not flip-flopping, I was pandering, and America deserves a President who knows the difference!" Seth Myers as John Kerry, a ray of light on an otherwise crummy "Saturday Night Live" premiere.

Arab nations turn to the U.N. to rein in Israel.

Nice to see somebody believes in the U.N. I mean, besides John "Global Test" Kerry, that is. Wonder why Israel felt the need to mount an offensive, anyway?

Israel launched the offensive, code-named "Days of Reckoning," after a Palestinian rocket strike killed two preschoolers in the southern town of Sderot last Wednesday.

Surely, any resolution addressing this situation will take special care to single out those who would target children with rockets:

The draft resolution reaffirms support for the nearly-dormant "road map" for Middle East peace and demands "the immediate cessation of all military operations in the area of northern Gaza" and the withdrawal of Israel from there.

Its preamble condemns "the broad military incursion and attacks by the Israeli occupying forces in the area of northern Gaza Strip, including in and around the Jabiliya refugee camp, resulting in extensive human casualties and destruction and exacerbating the dire humanitarian situation."

The draft resolution also calls on Israel to ensure safety of U.N. personnel, especially aid workers providing humanitarian assistance, such as the U.N. Relief and Works Agency of Palestine Refugees, known as UNRWA.

The United Nations is investigating Israeli allegations that Palestinian militants used an UNRWA ambulance to transport rockets.

Odd, sounds like the only party that has to do anything here is Israel. Oh, and while we're on the subject, the claim that the U.N. is "investigating" the claim that terrorists are using UN vehicles to transport weapons is complete and utter horsepoop. The official U.N. position is their vehicles aren't being used to transport weapons, and their rationale is the Hamas members on their payroll have been told they have to remain neutral.

And remember, when taking any kind of "global test", these are the folks who will be doing the grading.

This week was the fantasy football game that mattered more than the rest of the season put together. This week my lions of the gridiron battled those of my loving wife...I could be forgiven a little confidence. Much of her hopes rested on the Carolina Panther's yard-machine Stephen Davis, out until week 5 due to injury. Her nominal backup plays for the Dallas Cowboys, who had a bye this week, so she needed to fill a roster spot with someone, anyone whose team was taking the field this week and who might pick up a few carries and earn her some points. With running backs the Holy Grail of fantasy football - the field was picked virtually clean - sure, she found a guy who'd play this weekend, but how dangerous could he be?

My lineup was strong, and performed well - Tom Brady and Corey Dillon went off on the Buffalo Bills. Warrick Dunn once again combined big yards with a touchdown. David Akers virtually was the Eagles' offense, and the New York Giants shut down Brett Farve to rack up defensive points for me as well. All of this against modest performances from the missus' regular starters. Oh, and the new guy. Plays for Oakland. Name of Amos Zeroue.

Raider fans, and people who seriously follow football, are all laughing their asses off right now. Let me fill in the punchline for the rest of you. 117 yards and two touchdowns. Fortunately, our marital bond supercedes any need to gloat, right? Please note the following actual conversation between the spouse and a friend watching the Falcons game at our house:

Him: So, what does it mean if your team wins and Gib's loses?

Wife: It means he's the girl for another season.

It's not a done deal yet. There's one player in our game yet to play, and he's on my team. It will take a phenominal receiving game to rack up the points needed for victory, but if anyone can do it, it's Tony Gonzales. (Actually, if anyone can do it, it's Randy Moss or Terrell Owens, but I don't have them. I have Tony. And Tony needs to get his butt in the end zone tonight. Preferably three times, but at least twice for me to have a shot.)

Oh, and Amos Zeroue needs to get hit by a bus.

Opposition candidate Yunus Qanooni is attempting to persuade some of the opponents of President Hamid Karzai to unite behind him to present a single opposition candidate in Saturday's elections.

Of course, there are concerns about violence from the Taliban, which has offered its own criticisms of the process:

The Taliban has called the election a sham orchestrated by Washington and Karzai and has vowed to disrupt it...

The guerrillas distributed leaflets in Afghan refugee camps in Pakistan saying anyone who killed a poll worker would earn a divine reward and those who registered to vote would face punishment.

Not to go all media-biassy, but one does wonder exactly how the Taliban would know a fair election if it bit them in the ass.

Regarding Karzai's primary opponent, Qanooni at least appears to be a small-d democrat. His street cred comes from his days with the Northern Alliance, who were fighting the Taliban before it was cool. Qanooni's candidacy appears to be a play to ensure a strong voice for ethnic Tajiks in a government likely to be run by the Pashtun plurality. (Which includes Karzai). If Qanooni can force a runoff, he'd have a shot at winning the presidency outright if the non-Karzai parties align behind him. But even if Karzai wins outright Saturday with 51 percent, a strong showing may send a serious message to the President, which may be enough to get Qanooni back into the government with a more prestigious role.

Qanooni's most interesting complaint is that Karzai is claiming that he alone has the support of the international community. One candidate claiming the world supports him and only he can move them to help out with the problems facing the nation...

...welcome to our world, guys.

The fact that a juror was drunk during the trial is not enough to overturn the verdict.

Regarding a gadget that helps women avoid the embarassing sounds that accompany using the restroom:

When Naoko Ito uses a public bathroom, she cringes in embarrassment at the thought that other patrons can hear the sounds coming from her stall. That's when she turns to the "Sound Princess."

One wonders - is that more or less embarassing than having your bathroom habits quoted in an international news story?

...out of gratitude for letting me know about this post (which catalogues virtually every instance of bad behavior in the history of professional wrestling, and that covers a lot of ground), I hereby welcome Steve Silver to the blogroll.

...test post to see if it's working...